| Living as a shortish dude in the dating world, I have spent some time by trial and error learning tips for success. The guide:
1. Being short is a disadvantage—not a roadblock
If you ask a tall dude if height matters, you’ll find those who say a) it does b) it doesn’t, or c) a short guy can do anything that a tall dude can: it’s about confidence. Any of these can be perceived as true. The third is the MOST correct. A short guy can do just about anything that a tall dude can—just for a tall dude it’s a bit easier, all other things being equal. Good news is the world is a place where all things don’t have to be equal.
First step is to admit that height matters to some extent. I remember reading a post once from a PUA. He was already above 6 feet in height. He wore some elevator boots one night and boosted his height 3-4 inches for an experiment. He noted a dramatic change in the way women responded to him in going from tall to very tall. Height matters.
Remember that everyone has preferences. For women, height is near or at the top of their preferences for most if you look at evolutionary biology literature. Height indicates a man with good genes who was raised in a healthy environment with good nutrition. This in turn indicates that he can Provide and Protect, from a biologic perspective.
There’s nothing wrong with having preferences. Some women don’t want to date shorter men and that’s that. We have our own preferences as well. Many of us don’t want to date fat chicks or girls 6/10 or less. Some of this is apples and oranges, but you get the idea. People have preferences. It their right and it’s my right.
Good news is that height is not the only factor girls are interested in. Preferences are complex and dynamic. There are many other factors that are changeable—confidence, body, style, personality, intelligence, the list goes on. You can even change your height slightly as well if you like. Detailed tips below.
If you don’t believe me that short dudes can be just as successful, Google short celebrities. Tom Cruise is 5’7”. So is Jon Stewart. Napoleon was 5’6”.
2. Build your confidence. Better yourself
-Be the best version of yourself. Advice for anyone. Work on your conversational skills. Groom yourself well. Go to a nice salon and get a new haircut. Adjust your style. Be successful at your workplace.
-Get big. Go to they gym and lift. Adding some muscle causes girls to not notice height. Eat right. Get healthy.
Remember: You are doing the above for YOU and YOURSELF. It’s not about compensating for height. This is about making yourself the BEST YOU.
3. Do an experiment with being taller. Or add a few inches permanently
Feel what it’s like to be a bit taller. Get some taller shoes, go to the bar, and see what happens. You will likely notice people acting slightly different toward you. Approach girls. Build your confidence this way. Then keep or get rid of the tall shoes. The confidence stays. If you want, keep the taller shoes and wear them out and at work. More below about this.
To add an inch or two to your height you can buy some Doc Martins, boots, elevator shoes, or heel lifts. Doc Martins makes a good variety of shoes these days you can wear in different settings. Check Amazon for a few versions.
4. Tinder
Tinder is the best place for short dude online dating. There is no demographic section to put in your height on Tinder. On other dating platforms, you may be filtered out immediately based on height. Get on Tinder, put up pics up you doing interesting things. Put up a pic of your bod out by the pool, gym, or lake (not a bathroom selfie). Tinder is also a good place just to practice texting females even if you don’t meet then.
If you want to do an experiment, put up a profile about yourself and put up a fake tall height (“6’2” Born to be big spoon”) just to see how differently people respond to you and practice texting people this way. Don’t meet people with the false height—be honest about your height.
5. Generate the thought process
What do I say to people who ask me ______ about my height? Look below for list of criticisms and responses. Don’t look at the answers right away. Think about how you would respond to these yourself first. They aren’t just a laundry list of responses. You have LIVE and BELIEVE these and the reasons you are living the way you do.
Possible scenarios:
Girl finds out you wear height boosting boots/shoes: “Why do you wear those tall shoes?”
Girl on Tinder: “How tall are you?”
Girl on Tinder: “I only date tall guys”
Girl on Tinder: “I’m ___ tall” (height being tall or taller than you)
Dating a girl taller than you: “Wow, your gal is so tall” “How’d a dude like you catch this tall girl?”
How do you perceive yourself responding to each of these?
- Girl finds out you wear height boosting shoes: “Why do you wear those tall shoes?”
Believe it or not, most girls are not going to care if you wear shoes to boost your height. And if they do they aren’t going to say anyway. This is because girls use methods like this themselves all the time and they are very familiar with them. Girls use makeup to make themselves prettier. The use extensions to make their hair longer. They stuff their bras to get bigger tits. They get boob jobs. They wear high heels. Taking their same thought process and applying it to yourself, from their perspective, is seen as you being creative, willing to adapt, and thinking outside the box. Granted, it's worth it to note that the more inches you add to the shoes if you use them, the more likely it's possible it could matter to someone else. There may be a few who are critical. Who gives a shit? Experiment and move on.
You may wonder what the girl is going to think once you’re at home and have taken off the shoes and lost a bit of height. Answer: They won’t care. Once a girl is in your home, in your bed, they are comfortable with you. For height, daily and public interaction with height is what matters. Not a few moments at home. Or when laying horizontal in the bedroom.
Possible responses to “Why do you wear those tall shoes?”:
Indirect: “I like these boots” or “I like this style”
You don’t have to give the person the time of day if you don’t want to. This is the answer that women give all the time when asked why they wear those high heels.
Sincere, confident answer to someone you already know well: “I’m cool with me—I wear these for other people mostly. People have an easier time responding to you when you’re a little bit taller”
Being short isn’t your weakness. It’s other peoples’ weakness in the way they perceive you. You’re helping them out.
- Girl on Tinder: “How tall are you?”
Girl on Tinder: “I only date tall guys”
Girl on Tinder: “I’m ___ tall” (height being tall or taller than you)
Be upfront about your height. Possible responses:
5”7’ and strong
5”6’. You?
5’8, and 5’10” with the cowboy boots on
Everyone’s the same height in the bedroom babe
Be creative. Bullshit around if you feel like it. Be cocky and see how she responds.
Girl responds with height taller than you or a tall height: Start some chat about how you like tall girls and see where the conversation goes. Some of these girls you may not end up meeting, but you’ll notice no one out there is being offended and you’re having a normal conversation.
Good—I like tall girls.
Perfect—I’m a leg man
A girl as tall as I am strong
Tall and easy to lift is what I like
- Dating a girl taller than you: “Wow, your gal is tall” “How’d a dude like you grab this tall girl?”
In my years of dating girls taller than me, I’ve never had this conversation occur, though it could depending on the type of people you meet and consort with. Responses should be indirect:
“She likes the attention—people can just know that I make the big bucks”
“She needs me at home to open the pickle jar”
“Once she saw my shoe size she was cool with it”
6. Summary
Note that much of the above information can apply to a person of any height. The important part is to be the best YOU and to show CONFIDENCE. And not false confidence or arrogance: true, earned confidence. Build your confidence. Defend your ego. Live correct thought process. Go and there and do it.
Post here your short people experiences. Or if you are a tall dude and don’t like short dudes. Or if you are a medium person.
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