| Hi Guys,
I'm new here and thought I would share a situation which has come up in my life. This may get pretty long but I'll try and be brief so you don't get bored. I am 30 and from South London.
I have always been able to handle my women situations but this is one where I feel I need help, it won't be the end of the world if it doesn't work out which I guess, works in my favour as I can play like I have nothing to lose but I would like to win. I see this as a challenge and a chase, something I have always been drawn into.
IN SHORT
An ex I have been sleeping with on and off while I have a g/f for the past 2 years has now met someone she likes and wants to be good. I want to keep seeing her, we had our last time but she has asked to meet OUT for dinner this week. I want sex.
IN LONG, detailed.
I have a girlfriend, she is brilliant, I have been with her for 3 years, I'll refer to her as N. Around the same time I met N 3 years ago, an ex of mine walked back into my life. An ex from 9 years ago now.This ex had set my standard of what I want in a woman, just incredible in every way. She became an ex as she had to work abroad to chase her ambitions of doing her masters degree in Puerto Rico, then moved to San Francisco and then Turkey to follow her career dream. I went to visit her once in San Fran, she had a boyfriend and I got totally rejected, caused a bit of an issue but I ended up sleeping with her SPAM so it was all good.. Anyway. 5 years later, she comes back into my life.
She has moved back to London and we meet up several times, due to the sting of rejection in San Fran years ago and my new target of N, I was totally blind to the real reason ex was meeting up with me. We had some of the best nights out, all totally innocent, no action. I wanted her but at the same time, I was happy to have her back in my life as a friend and didn't want the awkwardness of rejection again. As things picked up with N, I forgot about the ex, even blowing her out due to seeing N and just brushing her off in general. 7 months of so later, the slack texts and phonecalls every now and then started to pick up, especailly when she told me she has a new job 5 minutes from my place... We met up, had a night out, everything felt normal as in it was a great night out, good food, drinks, chat etc.. As she didn't live local at this point but worked local, I said she could stay.. Well, things went down and we fcuked and it was amazing, there was a strong connection and it was just amazing, there was alot of emotion blah blahhh, anyway, this started something ... She told me she was only ever meeting me to get back with me 7 months ago and when I was talking about N, it was killing her etc etc. I was clueless, given the choice at the time, I would have chosen ex. But I am involved with N now.
Anyway, 2 years on, she moved closer to work (2 min walk from mine), ended up seeing another guy who was a jerk but was still sleeping with me every now and then.. The sex is what draws me in, it is something else. It did distract me from my own relationship with N, sex went downhill and I felt myself trying to decide who I want to be with.. this is an entirely different issue.
So, 2 years on, lots of on and off sex with the ex, happy relationship with N, ex has met someone else and only just become "exclusive", the night she became exclusive with this guy, she came round as she wanted a "hug" and to say "bye", after much heavy persuasion, we ended up sleeping together.. She basically said thats the last time that can happen, we cant see each other as we will just do it again and if I want it again, I need to decide who I want..She also said she loves me. She then went abroad for a week we gave me space to think.. I can't decide who I want, both girls have great qualities, I have always wanted Ex but she is a wildcard, N is a safe option, I know where I am going with her, ex is more fun, sex is better but this could be because its a taboo, it shouldn't be happening so the excitement makes the grass seem much greener. Well, this topic isn't about deciding, it's about keeping the game going.
Ex is back and has asked if we are meeting "OUT" for dinner this week.. Normally she was just coming round and we would stay in so we could fuck but now she is being a good girl, she has deliberately put "out" in the text. Only until this night she became "exclusive" with the new guy who is 5-6 weeks into seeing her, she was sending me filthy text messages, begging to meet for sex, pictures etc.. then it all suddenly changed so I can imagine the spark is still there but she is trying to dampen it down. So I feel this plays in my favour.
We are meeting Tuesday or Wednesday and we will go out to eat somewhere, drinks will probably be involved and it will be good but I am SUREEEEEEEEEEEEEE the topic of "what I want" and "what are your thoughts" will come up.. I want to sleep with her and I am looking for advise on how to nail this.
She already told me the new guy is seeming very possessive so I am going to hopefully play on that to neg him down and out the picture. She is a very head strong, free girl, we have a great connection but I do feel I need advise on this...
Sorry this got reallly long but I hope some of you stayed tuned in and can offer advice on this.
Thanks!
M
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CHAT
