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PostPosted: Wed Feb 27, 2008 10:18 pm 
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Cheers for the post about Body Language, gives me loads to look at :)

Another quick question, regarding day 2's:

Do you think it's crucially important where you meet/what you do on a Day 2?

I generally like to keep things intersting, and tend to do things like Wall Climbing, Snowboarding or Picnics and the like, depending on the woman. I'm guessing it shouldn't matter as the attraction should be there, but in my mind, it wouldn't sound as good saying do you wanna go for a couple of dricks etc, jsut seems a bit standard...


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 27, 2008 10:19 pm 
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awsome! =D

I always thought that nicknaming a girl would be a plus and a good way to build some comfort with her but i read somewhere here that it wasnt a good option! Plus most of the time nothing comes to mind you know? I mean sure something will but you want to be creative! You could nickname the girl the same name that so many other guys have! i guess you can try it but if it backfires then you should be ready to fight back lol


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 27, 2008 10:46 pm 
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1.) the first thing he says to me will immediately transport me back to the emotional state I experienced when I met him. He'll either start with an "inside" topic that we shared, an anchored word, or his nickname for me he created because of something retarded I did that night.
2.) some banter, some lighthearted insults, some joking, making sure that the wittiness wasn't just because of those jager shots I bought him
3.) sincere rapport flash: all this is is a momentary compliment, or a momentary "serious" moment where he transports me back to the emotional state I was in when we got into comfort building the night I met him.
4.) either plans to meet up or a quick dismissal.

Keep. It. Casual. but honest and revealing. You dig?
These are some great stuff zip! but i though it was best not to nickname a girl! They might get their bitch shield back up and even get pissed off in some cases!
Lets say if you didnt nickname or have an inside thing with the girl what would you say first when you give her a ring then?
Nicknaming is fine to anchor emotional states on, in my opinion, and in the opinion of the guys at the pickup podcast. Listen to their toolbox episode on opening. However, I can see where some experts think that nicknaming a girl could activate a bitch shield... if you call her "fatty" or "crater face" or something :)

If you don't have an inside thing with a girl that you are calling up, I'd then assume you took a direct approach the night before. Continue with the direct approach. Hi ____, it's ____. When are we getting together? Or whatever is congruent with your direct game.
I seem to hit on #1 and #2 in my initial phone convos.

Now, #3? Would that be like telling her something you liked about
her when you first met? I'm not sure I follow.


#4 is my goal, but I seem to have a sticking point with ironing out
date details. I'm getting better though.

Anyway, M-Style, I would just calibrate. If the nickname pissed her off
in a bad way when you first met, then no, don't use it. On the other hand,
if she laughed or punched you in the arm whenever you did it, then
absolutely!

I'll stop high-jacking this vessel now. :)

p.s. Okay, I lied, but just for one quick note. M_Style, I would go back
to the Venutian handbook. I believe it says something to the effect of
not negging or joking as much in comfort AND you may have to repeat
parts of the attraction phase if there is a marginal time lapse between
the close and the date. Correct me if I'm wrong.

[Arkitekt ducks quickly]


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 27, 2008 11:10 pm 
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These are some great stuff zip! but i though it was best not to nickname a girl! They might get their bitch shield back up and even get pissed off in some cases!
Lets say if you didnt nickname or have an inside thing with the girl what would you say first when you give her a ring then?
Nicknaming is fine to anchor emotional states on, in my opinion, and in the opinion of the guys at the pickup podcast. Listen to their toolbox episode on opening. However, I can see where some experts think that nicknaming a girl could activate a bitch shield... if you call her "fatty" or "crater face" or something :)

If you don't have an inside thing with a girl that you are calling up, I'd then assume you took a direct approach the night before. Continue with the direct approach. Hi ____, it's ____. When are we getting together? Or whatever is congruent with your direct game.
I seem to hit on #1 and #2 in my initial phone convos.

Now, #3? Would that be like telling her something you liked about
her when you first met? I'm not sure I follow.


#4 is my goal, but I seem to have a sticking point with ironing out
date details. I'm getting better though.

Anyway, M-Style, I would just calibrate. If the nickname pissed her off
in a bad way when you first met, then no, don't use it. On the other hand,
if she laughed or punched you in the arm whenever you did it, then
absolutely!

I'll stop high-jacking this vessel now. :)

p.s. Okay, I lied, but just for one quick note. M_Style, I would go back
to the Venutian handbook. I believe it says something to the effect of
not negging or joking as much in comfort AND you may have to repeat
parts of the attraction phase if there is a marginal time lapse between
the close and the date. Correct me if I'm wrong.

[Arkitekt ducks quickly]
I agree with you 100% but i guess what i ment was to build some comfort before you nickname her would benifit you more since you know what kinda girl she is! I try not to nickname girl simply because i cant think of something lol call me slow if you wish lol!

whats this Venutian handbook i keep hearing about? Is this new? lol


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 28, 2008 4:27 am 
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hey zip, i have a question about a small aspect of kino, when i was AFC and i first heard about kino i would do everything possible to initiate kino just to get comfortable with it. it helped alot, but one thing i was never sure of like there is this hb7.5 and she dropped her keys, ive known her for a while and havent really run game but i think i want to start, so i figured i could pick them up and not look AFC, i picked them up and when i handed it to her, she touched my hand, and her hand lingered a bit and the touch was kinda sensual, is this just how girls are or should i pursue things becuase it was an IOI?

this is just one of those small things but i figure why not?
nope. girls will only let their hands linger if they mean it. holding hands for a girl is still a step that makes us hickup a bit in the stomach. I mean, you said the touch was kinda sensual, which is what the vibe between you was at that point... HUGE IOI... go for it!
thanks alot zip, and i will go for it, shes been playing difficult, and i was just gonna move on but ill stick with it and see what happens! thanks alot!

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PostPosted: Thu Feb 28, 2008 6:56 am 
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hey zip, i have a question about a small aspect of kino, when i was AFC and i first heard about kino i would do everything possible to initiate kino just to get comfortable with it. it helped alot, but one thing i was never sure of like there is this hb7.5 and she dropped her keys, ive known her for a while and havent really run game but i think i want to start, so i figured i could pick them up and not look AFC, i picked them up and when i handed it to her, she touched my hand, and her hand lingered a bit and the touch was kinda sensual, is this just how girls are or should i pursue things becuase it was an IOI?

this is just one of those small things but i figure why not?
nope. girls will only let their hands linger if they mean it. holding hands for a girl is still a step that makes us hickup a bit in the stomach. I mean, you said the touch was kinda sensual, which is what the vibe between you was at that point... HUGE IOI... go for it!
thanks alot zip, and i will go for it, shes been playing difficult, and i was just gonna move on but ill stick with it and see what happens! thanks alot!
Dude,
Unless it will hurt your SP... stick with it. See what happens. If it crashes and burns... hopefully your frame is already strong enough where you can learn from mistakes and carry on sarging!

_________________
- Zip


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Feb 28, 2008 3:18 pm 
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Here is a question and sort of complicated situation.

Well the situation is first.

In one of my classes, I really cool with this really good looking girl so we and her are tight. We flirt here and there but we don't escalate it into anything. But I am talking to another girl from another town that I am fairly interested in. The two girls have no connection but I am throwing that out there for the next part. Before class yesterday a guy that sits behind me asked me if I thought some chick in our class was hot. So I looked at and said yeah shes pretty hot. I didnt think anything of it but yesterday it has come to my knowledge that the girls that i said was pretty hot is interested in me.

It is a complicated situation now because I am going to be in this class with this girl for another 2 months and she sits in front of me. I have no interest in her whatsoever, but I said she was hot because she is. I see a lot of hot girls everyday but that doesnt mean I would pursue anything. Another factor is my friend used to mess around with her. So the day is going to come when I am going to have to make it clear I have no intentions of do anything at all. In reality I would rather not be her friend. I know that sounds mean but she isnt someone I would see myself hanging around with.

How should I go about letting her know all of this?

_________________
I'd rather go out swinging than strike out looking.
A lifestyle is a terrible thing to waste.
What I say when I see her is what I'll say.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Feb 28, 2008 5:01 pm 
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Cheers for the post about Body Language, gives me loads to look at :)

Another quick question, regarding day 2's:

Do you think it's crucially important where you meet/what you do on a Day 2?

I generally like to keep things intersting, and tend to do things like Wall Climbing, Snowboarding or Picnics and the like, depending on the woman. I'm guessing it shouldn't matter as the attraction should be there, but in my mind, it wouldn't sound as good saying do you wanna go for a couple of dricks etc, jsut seems a bit standard...
Dude, "grabbing a couple of drinks" is only halfway exciting because there is either alcohol or caffeine involved. It's BORING.

What you seem to already be doing with the day-2's is making them exciting. They don't have to be expensive, they just have to spark the girl's imagination. And yours. Play around, people! Best day-2 I've ever had was horseback riding on the beach. In Brooklyn. Who does that? It was random, cheap, casual, fun.

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- Zip


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Feb 28, 2008 6:19 pm 
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Hey zip! How are you darling?

wow such a drama went on while i was away! im glad its over!

Well i have a quicky here!

I have been getting girls numbers left and right, but it seems that i dont find to go out with all of them! What is this going to do to the girl as far as why hasnt this guy asked me to hang out yet?


I do keep contact with them, either online or with phone but times may come that its been 2-3 weeks and i havent had a chance to hang out with a girl! Its just not my fualt! This iss what happens when you go full times school and work during weekdays!

For ex: if a girl keeps asking to hang out but i dont got the time and i have aleady told her about the school/work! What else do you sugest i should do besides cutting down from school and work LOL thats not possibel lol!:lol:

appreciate the input hun!
when you get a chance darling! it would be appreciated!


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 29, 2008 8:51 am 
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Greetings Zip. I have just spent the past ::duration of time withheld out of fear of revealing my severely sub-par reading skills:: going through this thread and let me just say that I appreciate what you are doing here for all of us. You are truly a saint among... uh... geeky dudes trying to pick up chicks... anyhoo, now that I've finished DLVing myself, on to my question!


I noticed earlier that you discussed how a guy might go about picking you up. I'd like to expand upon that concept a little bit and ask you how a man might go about keeping a woman such as yourself interested on a longer term basis. I have been dating a very type-A personality woman for a number of weeks now. She likes to get her own way, lead conversations, generally be in control, etc. Although I don't know you from a hole in the wall, from what I can gather about you on this forum, I believe you to be very similar. Am I going to constantly battle this girl for dominance of the relationship in order to keep her interested and ensure she respects me or can I let my guard down now that I know she is interested? I am a generally laid back person and my first instinct is to just let her have her way on 95% of things because I genuinely don't care. I feel, however, that if she is used to always getting her way then she is going to think I am a door-mat and lose respect and interest. Should I be fighting her on little shit that I don't really care about just to exert dominance?


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 29, 2008 6:28 pm 
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Greetings Zip. I have just spent the past ::duration of time withheld out of fear of revealing my severely sub-par reading skills:: going through this thread and let me just say that I appreciate what you are doing here for all of us. You are truly a saint among... uh... geeky dudes trying to pick up chicks... anyhoo, now that I've finished DLVing myself, on to my question!


I noticed earlier that you discussed how a guy might go about picking you up. I'd like to expand upon that concept a little bit and ask you how a man might go about keeping a woman such as yourself interested on a longer term basis. I have been dating a very type-A personality woman for a number of weeks now. She likes to get her own way, lead conversations, generally be in control, etc. Although I don't know you from a hole in the wall, from what I can gather about you on this forum, I believe you to be very similar. Am I going to constantly battle this girl for dominance of the relationship in order to keep her interested and ensure she respects me or can I let my guard down now that I know she is interested? I am a generally laid back person and my first instinct is to just let her have her way on 95% of things because I genuinely don't care. I feel, however, that if she is used to always getting her way then she is going to think I am a door-mat and lose respect and interest. Should I be fighting her on little shit that I don't really care about just to exert dominance?
Okay, this is a tricky question and one that people will probably disagree with me on. You are exactly right that I'm very type A. I'm in a constant power struggle. However, I'm also bored when a guy becomes a doormat. What does one do with girls like this?

If you are generally laid back, and she's Type-A, naturally flow with things how they seem to go. You've already got her attraction. Keep it by choosing your battles. Pull the dominance rug out from under her every so often, just to keep her on her toes. It will also jump-start her attraction. At least, that's what works for me. You don't want to be in a relationship with someone where you are ALWAYS fighting for dominance. What's the point? Plus, always fighting over anything gets old. Pick and choose.

_________________
- Zip


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 29, 2008 6:32 pm 
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Greetings Zip. I have just spent the past ::duration of time withheld out of fear of revealing my severely sub-par reading skills:: going through this thread and let me just say that I appreciate what you are doing here for all of us. You are truly a saint among... uh... geeky dudes trying to pick up chicks... anyhoo, now that I've finished DLVing myself, on to my question!


I noticed earlier that you discussed how a guy might go about picking you up. I'd like to expand upon that concept a little bit and ask you how a man might go about keeping a woman such as yourself interested on a longer term basis. I have been dating a very type-A personality woman for a number of weeks now. She likes to get her own way, lead conversations, generally be in control, etc. Although I don't know you from a hole in the wall, from what I can gather about you on this forum, I believe you to be very similar. Am I going to constantly battle this girl for dominance of the relationship in order to keep her interested and ensure she respects me or can I let my guard down now that I know she is interested? I am a generally laid back person and my first instinct is to just let her have her way on 95% of things because I genuinely don't care. I feel, however, that if she is used to always getting her way then she is going to think I am a door-mat and lose respect and interest. Should I be fighting her on little shit that I don't really care about just to exert dominance?
Okay, this is a tricky question and one that people will probably disagree with me on. You are exactly right that I'm very type A. I'm in a constant power struggle. However, I'm also bored when a guy becomes a doormat. What does one do with girls like this?

If you are generally laid back, and she's Type-A, naturally flow with things how they seem to go. You've already got her attraction. Keep it by choosing your battles. Pull the dominance rug out from under her every so often, just to keep her on her toes. It will also jump-start her attraction. At least, that's what works for me. You don't want to be in a relationship with someone where you are ALWAYS fighting for dominance. What's the point? Plus, always fighting over anything gets old. Pick and choose.
I'd like to append to that with this:
When you chose not to fight, make it obvious that you chose not to fight. Taking control is alpha, but choosing to let someone else control the situation is alpha as well, so long as they know it's by your grace alone that they're winning that control.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 29, 2008 6:35 pm 
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Now, #3? Would that be like telling her something you liked about
her when you first met? I'm not sure I follow.


#4 is my goal, but I seem to have a sticking point with ironing out
date details. I'm getting better though.
It could be something that you genuinely liked about her, it could be a further reflection on a moment you shared the first time you met, it could be a epiphany you had after talking to her about something, it could be anything that is connected to your emotions.

Without, and I quote Locke here, employing douchebaggery, you want to flash her with a brief moment of real emotion from you. It's just a taste. Something that will lure her like bait into continuing contact with you. It's the little cherry on top of the phone call.

Better?
Quote:
Anyway, M-Style, I would just calibrate. If the nickname pissed her off
in a bad way when you first met, then no, don't use it. On the other hand,
if she laughed or punched you in the arm whenever you did it, then
absolutely!

I'll stop high-jacking this vessel now. :)

p.s. Okay, I lied, but just for one quick note. M_Style, I would go back
to the Venutian handbook. I believe it says something to the effect of
not negging or joking as much in comfort AND you may have to repeat
parts of the attraction phase if there is a marginal time lapse between
the close and the date. Correct me if I'm wrong.

[Arkitekt ducks quickly]
you're right. well done. and M-Style, either google or search this forum for what the Venusian handbook is. I won't answer that because I'll be a bitch about it, and no one wants that.

_________________
- Zip


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Feb 29, 2008 6:45 pm 
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Greetings Zip. I have just spent the past ::duration of time withheld out of fear of revealing my severely sub-par reading skills:: going through this thread and let me just say that I appreciate what you are doing here for all of us. You are truly a saint among... uh... geeky dudes trying to pick up chicks... anyhoo, now that I've finished DLVing myself, on to my question!


I noticed earlier that you discussed how a guy might go about picking you up. I'd like to expand upon that concept a little bit and ask you how a man might go about keeping a woman such as yourself interested on a longer term basis. I have been dating a very type-A personality woman for a number of weeks now. She likes to get her own way, lead conversations, generally be in control, etc. Although I don't know you from a hole in the wall, from what I can gather about you on this forum, I believe you to be very similar. Am I going to constantly battle this girl for dominance of the relationship in order to keep her interested and ensure she respects me or can I let my guard down now that I know she is interested? I am a generally laid back person and my first instinct is to just let her have her way on 95% of things because I genuinely don't care. I feel, however, that if she is used to always getting her way then she is going to think I am a door-mat and lose respect and interest. Should I be fighting her on little shit that I don't really care about just to exert dominance?
Okay, this is a tricky question and one that people will probably disagree with me on. You are exactly right that I'm very type A. I'm in a constant power struggle. However, I'm also bored when a guy becomes a doormat. What does one do with girls like this?

If you are generally laid back, and she's Type-A, naturally flow with things how they seem to go. You've already got her attraction. Keep it by choosing your battles. Pull the dominance rug out from under her every so often, just to keep her on her toes. It will also jump-start her attraction. At least, that's what works for me. You don't want to be in a relationship with someone where you are ALWAYS fighting for dominance. What's the point? Plus, always fighting over anything gets old. Pick and choose.
I'd like to append to that with this:
When you chose not to fight, make it obvious that you chose not to fight. Taking control is alpha, but choosing to let someone else control the situation is alpha as well, so long as they know it's by your grace alone that they're winning that control.
YES. absolutely.

_________________
- Zip


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Feb 29, 2008 6:57 pm 
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Hey zip! How are you darling?

wow such a drama went on while i was away! im glad its over!

Well i have a quicky here!

I have been getting girls numbers left and right, but it seems that i dont find to go out with all of them! What is this going to do to the girl as far as why hasnt this guy asked me to hang out yet?


I do keep contact with them, either online or with phone but times may come that its been 2-3 weeks and i havent had a chance to hang out with a girl! Its just not my fualt! This iss what happens when you go full times school and work during weekdays!

For ex: if a girl keeps asking to hang out but i dont got the time and i have aleady told her about the school/work! What else do you sugest i should do besides cutting down from school and work LOL thats not possibel lol!:lol:

appreciate the input hun!
Uh, if you don't have time to hang out with a girl... you don't have time to hang out with her. Just be creative and keep contact, which it sounds like you're doing... but you have to mix it up, keep it light and fun, keep her attraction switches on until you can get a free afternoon or night.

_________________
- Zip


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