"POWER"?
Power = fear based, keeping tabs on who is "in control" - its an illusion and perpetuates insecurity

This whole notion of control is subjective. You may construe her letting you touch you in the framework of who has control, and all your behaviors henceforth will come out of that. What a crappy way to view women! Sounds exhausting too, and rest assured a recipe for disaster. Good luck Chuck.

If you're in your masculine you aren't ceding or taking power, you're just being. You didn't let her have the power, she let you touch her (unless it wasn't consensual in which case that'd be rape, or sexual harassment depending on how far it went). Please. this is so ridiculous.

You got some good points. So in your opinion, how should I proceed in such situation? I'm quite unfamiliar with gaming chicks I work with so I'd love some insightful advices.

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I disagree. I'm not one for dwelling or thinking about power in dating; I prefer it to be guy likes girl, girl likes him, they hook up and whatever. However, here you have a girl is bringing "power" into things. Hence, my advice to find another chick. If OP is set on sleeping with this girl, he has to assess that she is the one setting boundaries and resisting his escalation. I'm not telling GK to play a power game with this girl, in fact, that he should probably forget her, as you're right, she does have an insecurity. But I'm telling him that she is playing power games, hence if he does want her, he has to get control back. He wants a girl who likes to play games. If he wants her he has to play games. If he wants to be, which I'd advise, he should forget her. If he wants her, he has to see what she's doing. If he just gives her attention, most likely nothing will happen.

How do you figure?

This is not a girl likes guy situation. She's teasing him, and pulling back. And not innocently.

Gaming coworkers , puts you in a scarcity mindset. I have to agree with the other guys that have been saying to just forget about her and cold approach. Paradoxically this might attract her a lot since she'll see you just wont react to her shit tests

Lol. Why do guys think that gaming coworkers=scarcity? It's like meeting a girl at work = easy way so dont do it. Might as well include, meeting girls at the bar = scarcity, because it's a social environment and they're drinking so its the easy way.Might as well include, meeting girls online = scarcity, because they're looking for dick.

Live a well rounded life and meet girls everywhere. Through friends, through day game, through night game, online, at the gym, at the grocery, through an activity, at the office, at a concert. You find a woman you're interested in, ask her out. That can be while you're home in your boxers at you see her online profile, or a chick at work you think is attractive. No one deactivates their online profiles because they're getting girls too easily from it. No one stops taking a girls number at the bar because she was extra sociable due to alchohol. So meet girls wherever you find them.

I don't necessarily think it's scarcity if you are meeting women in multiple ways. It isn't a smart thing to do though, just because most relationships end and there is usually one person that has hard feelings. I also think that if you are pursuing women outside of work and are having success, your mentality would be more against pursuing a coworker for the simple fact that you would rather not have drama in the workplace.

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I agreed. Usually I just do cold approach. Much easier for me to game and sexual escalate. Either I slept with them on the first date or second date or I didn't and moved on. It was just this chick is 19 and my type and our boss who is a good friend of mine specifically told me not to touch her because her dad is very close to the chick's dad (this chick's dad is also a high up military figure that oversees the entire naval fleet in certain continent) so my thrill seeking side just kicked in. Anyway, to cut it short, I'm just gonna go back to doing cold approach and save myself the drama. Thanks for all the inputs though.

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I see it as if you're pursuing women outside of work, why would you NOT pursue a coworker? It's like if you're a million dollars every year, why would you NOT pursue small ventures if there is opportunity to make some small money once it doesnt hamper your main income? Which is in fact what most millionaires do. Because your mentality should be on making money anywhere it comes from. I may be pursuing a couple girls I met at the bar, a girl from day game, one from online, and a coworker. A friend may hit me up and invite me out with some girls and I meet another one there.

As to drama, yeah relationships can end in drama. But if we're talking drama, I wont date a waitress or a regular at my favorite bar because it can end badly. My mindset is, go for it, if it ends badly deal with it. I'm not gonna die if a chick at work doesnt talk to me anymore, or if I have to see an ex at the bar every weekend. It's not gonna kill me or make me lose my job. I'll live with it. This whole pickup thing is about not being nervous in situations like approaching and escalating when other men would be. Why would I care if I have to go through some awkwardness with an ex? Technically speaking too, it's in a coworkers best interest to avoid a drama breakup as well. She has to see you at work too. So while a random chick at a bar who becomes your gf wont care because she doesnt see you again, a coworker has to handle herself a bit better. And I dont know about anyone else, but I'm on my career, so that means even if I get in a 1 year relationship with a girl, have a nasty breakup, I probably wont be at that department/company to even care.

I never understand the dont shit where you eat thing. If we're that paranoid about a girl going to HR for asking her out and not pushing it, we should be that paranoid about about a girl at the bar crying rape or harassment. If we're that afraid of drama ie a girl doesnt speak to you at work or her friends dont, let's not approach women at all. GKS reply on "going back to cold approach" is the wrong way; you shouldnt have to go back to anything. You shouldve been meeting women wherever. This shouldve been a side project. I'm not a sleeping with coworkers advocate, just saying, let's just pursue women and not fear things that dont happen. The worst that can happen is just some awkwardness. But why should we care?

Unless a guy actually rapes a woman, its difficult to prove rape. If a guy is harassing at a bar, he's kicked out. The workplace is different is because management normally documents complaints and can get rid of you just to protect their money.

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I think it all come down from weighing the pro and con. If my coworker is Jessica Alba then by all mean, I'd go for it regardless putting my job at risk or not. But if it's just a cute girl next door that I can easily run into hotter ones at the bar, then I'd stick to the bar and save the drama at work. "Don't shit where you eat" works in that sense. Of course, when you absolutely have to go, shit wherever you like, it's your mess to clean up.

I'm not against gaming chicks at work. I did. It didn't work out. And I'm not attracted to other chicks at work besides that 19 yo. So for now, I'll stick with cold approaching where I'm much better and more effective at. It's just that simple.

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What I'm saying is, if I invite a girl who I'm friendly with at work for drinks casually, and she says no, and I leave it alone and go back to being normal, if she goes to my boss and says I'm harassing her, she's blatantly lying on me. And if I'm worried about girls who blatantly lie like that, that can happen with a girl at the bar. If I plan my dating life around running into liars, I'd be more afraid of a rape accusation than a complaint at work. I'm not asking a woman at work "hey I like you, let's go for drinks" or "come to my place for a movie." I'm inviting them out for drinks, usually in a group. I invite guys, girls, older women, younger women, younger men, older men, out for drinks all the time.

I talk to female coworkers all the time, and they have tons of stories of guys who were actually pushy. In fact, last week one told me a story of a guy who told her while she was pregnant "hey since you're husband probably isnt attracted to you now because of the belly, we should hook up" and gave her his number. How many complaints have these women filed, for guys who were extremely direct and offensive? Zero. Because at work, even when women are uncomfortable, you gotta be really really pushing it for them to go formal complaint. So I dont have any fear because I'm just being social, and not pushy or creepy. I'm not hitting on anyone. Do you or anyone, know of a guy who just invited someone to tag along for drinks and got a complaint?

And GKS, good you're not going after her. As I said before she's playing games. I'd tell you the same if this was a chick from cold approach. She's not worth the effort. But if you game a coworker sociably, your job is not at risk. What you did, was try to finger a coworker. I would NEVER advocate that kinda boldness with a coworker. If she wanted to file a complaint on you, she could. But thats because you did something stupid, no offense. I cant pull my dick out to a coworker and if she files a complaint say "see you shouldnt shit where you eat." You went about it in a terrible way.

I know. Should have pushed for making out first. But in my defense, I tried that outside of work when she threw herself at me

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