Okay, so new girl comes into my job (we're both 18 actually so idk if I should call her a women yet). Spent the past week being cool , calm, collected, and funny. In the past I've been told I make a good first impression (but then afterwards I'm too needy). This time I wasn't needy at all. She definitely showed some strong interest: hair flipping, staring directly at eyes, laughing hard at my jokes that were only semi funny. So this time I maintained my first impression and kept it that way (I mean I was cool , I was funny: this was good game running from me). So I invited her to get coffee for saturday and she said she'll consider it (which is as bad as a flat out rejection).

I'm also good looking enough where I don't think its a looks problem. I just can't see what the issue was this time. Surely someone else has had this similar situation happen to them:

I don't care so much about her (I have other prospects) specifically but I want to know what I did wrong so I can make a change and not make the same mistake again.

Advice?

Was this rejection a 'shit test' ( I actually didn't believe in shit tests because why would anyone do that, but thats what I think this mightve been)...


So I could use any suggestions you guys have?

(Don't be a d*** about it either, I'm down enough right now that I'd appreciate some support)


Edit: BTW I know the difference between a girl genuinely showing interest and just being polite, I'm not dillusional these were real strong signals. What am I missing?

Its possible you just arent her type.

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I also think she probably just wasn't into you, man. You may have misread the signals, or you may have done something you haven't written here...

Based on what you wrote it's tough to point at anything beyond that.

Two words.

Compliance escalation.

For this girl, this coffee date is a big compliance. It could have fried her circuits or she just doesn't feel horny for you... YET.

Start with small compliance tests. When you escalate big time and she shoots that one, go back to the small compliance tests that she's complying with.

For instance:

1. Say, "Hi" and she complies with "Hello."

2. "Let's go over there." She goes with you.

3. Hold her hand and she doesn't pull away.

4. Hug her and she hugs you back.

Typically, before I isolate, I test for girls reactions on this three compliance tests:

1. I use her hand to rub my chest and abdominals.

2. I rub my elbow on one of her breasts.

3. I grind my hard on at her ass.

When you get positive reactions on any of those, isolation is easy.

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Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

You don't just have to accept that kind of response flat out.

Challenge it at least once, that way you'll know exactly where she stands and you won't have to ask us. A lot of times that first mild rejection is just an impulse. Its a knee jerk reaction. Girls get asked out all the time, and at times they go on auto pilot when being asked out. But if you accept there response, they'll think " Oh - it must be justified ". I'm not saying she likes you or not, but in that situation always jokingly challenge that first mild rejection once.

This is more than just ASSUMING ATTRACTION. Its assuming " Maybe that response just slipped out. Let me double check"

For example she says " I'll consider it".. You say tongue and cheeky say " You shy? Its only coffee "

Then if she still objects, you can bow out. But I think you're issue is that you're giving up too early. Its not always going to play out like a movie. Sometimes you have to put in a bit more effort.

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