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MOST of the time it all comes down to how you see yourself.
We create our own limitations, and sometimes when we're kids some real shittyass people tell us/project onto us all the shitty things they feel towards themselves.
If you tell yourself you're too short, too fat, too tall, too this and too that after a bit you'll buy into it and it WILL affect your game for certain.
And yes, there's always something you can do about it. Obviously (as with this example) you can't make yourself taller but you can work on proper posture, dress to your body type, etc. The fat guy can put down the bag of chips, go for a run, and hit up the local gym a few times a week to start. Ask yourself "is there something I can do about it?" and if so do it. If you wear the same blah thing all the time go out and expand your wardrobe. Look at the latest fashion magazines like GQ and see what's fashionable and try a variety of these clothes to see which mesh best with who you are.
I believe the guy above that his 5'5 friend is pulling hotties left right and centre. It's his mindset. He doesn't hold himself back, and is likely less constrained when around people and more himself. People, particularly women find that enjoyable to be around - who wouldn't. Instead of being around the guy who keeps rehashing "I'm too short" mantra in his head and is perpetually looking externally for any evidence of this (real or not) instead of being himself and in the moment with those around him.
I've been working out most my life. I am ridiculously jacked - I would have guys say to me if they were me they'd just walk around shirtless everywhere. But guess what, it didn't help me get more women. Not at all in fact. I had a frame that pussy should just be falling out of the sky now - and basically waited, and waited....and waited some more...and grew a bit frustrated that wasn't happening. It was MY attitude. I created my own limitation in the sense that I told myself that having an amazing body is enough for women to open me (this was quite a while ago I held this view incidentally, I know better now). It's actually laughable looking back at my mindset - so out-of-touch with reality. I see younger guys get into bodybuilding and they tell me after a bit that all of a sudden they're getting all these women and they (falsely) attribute it to their physiques. I tell them that's not the case at all. They just FEEL more confident as a byproduct are able to engage with more women thereby creating more opportunities for themselves. Sure, women may like wash board abs and big muscles, but having those things IS NOT enough in and of itself for women to throw themselves at you. At best they'll just hang around you a bit more in hopes you'll open them. But you still gotta do the work, have no illusions about it.
How you FEEL about yourself is directly (and positively) correlated to the opportunities and quality of opportunities you'll have in life. This obviously extends to the women in your life.
The bit about my friend is exactly how it is. He can't even properly tell you what it is that gets him girls, as most naturals can't, he just says "I'm just confident, full of myself, and I don't give a shit if girls want me" << if you told that to an AFC, they'd blame luck. Tell it to those of us who know a thing or 2, and it's actually some good advice. Act as if girls want to fuck you, and they will. Weird creatures, girls. Doesn't matter if you're 2 ft 5 or 11 ft 9. View yourself as a catch, and you're a catch.
Also, the part where you're talking about your old mindset... it's better than my old mindset. I used to pride myself on being "wasted potential" cause it meant "At least I'm smart, even if I never use it" and I accepted that I'm (in my head at the time) ugly, fat and shy. I didn't ever think to do anything about it at the time lol. I was like almost every other guy... It's pretty much like I was so stupid that I thought "If I wanted to learn Spanish, I'd Google it. If I wanted to learn to play the guitar, I'd Google it... so if I want to learn how to get women... well, I can't, I'm ugly" ...funnily enough, I made minor changes and I get compliments all the time on how good looking I've got... sure I've lost a bit of weight and put on a tiny bit of muscle, changed my hair and clothes... but it's how I carry myself. I used to think I was "too fat" and "too tall" and "too shy" so I fixed all 3 (somewhat) - I'm tall, it's a good thing. Ok I'm fat, lets lose just under 55 lbs, then put some muscle weight back on. I'm shy, just say hello to everybody and force yourself into uncomfortable situations until they're the norm.
Sure, I'm still shy, but I'm now shy with things like giving a presentation to a huge crowd (and I'll force myself to do it) rather than being too shy to go to a party where I only know 1 person, and staying in bed thinking "I wish I went" lol.
Isn't it just amazing, thinking back on your own transformation and how far you've come/are still going?
CHAT
