I open pretty much all my sets now with just,

"hey you're cute / interesting / adorable, I wanted to get to know you"

What can I do to escape this lame AFC chump mode?

Its not your approach bro. Its about what you do after the approach. 9 times out of 10 you don't remember the first thing you said to the people you are friends with today. And its likely that you won't remember the first thing you said to the majority of the girlfriends you had in the past. The seduction takes place after the opener.

So whether you open with "hi, hello hey, or omg you're hot" if you can't transition into casual banter after your opener it won't make that much of a difference.

No girl gets opened and then immediately asks you to take her home without you showing displays of seductive character first.

I always go with "Hi" and then I stand strong and wait for a response just to kick it off. And once your warmed up you'll pretty much be going with whatever comes to your mind first. Your lack of not knowing what to say comes directly from you "wanting" something and then overthinking about how you're going to get it. I bet you don't not know what to say to your friends. Because it doesn't matter. You don't want anything from them. You're just hanging out. And thats the same vibe you want to project with women. Just hang out. Be playful, be sexual, and be friendly.

Approaching over and over has its ways of breaking one through the habit of caring too much about any individual approach. There truly is abundance out there and you truly have access to it. Depending on where you were at your start 500 approaches just isn't enough. I'd recommend getting out there 4 days a week and doing 15 approaches within the same hour if you can. Do it over and over until you break through the mind frame of trying to get something. Instead go in to give if you can wrap your mind around it. Give your humor, give your charm, give your insight, and give your happy mood. You have to see yourself as someone that has something that people want. We all have it. What do you have? When you figure it out, give it away relentlessly and people will be a lot more open to giving right back to you.

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Thanks.

Guess I've just gotta figure out a way to get into that flow. But it just doesn't really come naturally to me, even with my friends, I've always just been the guy that doesn't have much that he feels like saying.

Typically first thing I say will be "how was you're day" after opening a set and then the set will run dry in less than a minute.

I met a 25 yo natural not too long ago out at the water park Schillterbauhn in New Braunfels here in Tx. He actually opened me while we were waiting in line for a slide, he was drinking. He was solo and so was I, but we of course were both interested in approaching women.

He probably gave me the best advice I've ever heard, and as simple and cliche as it's sounds it's so true. When we were talking about what to say to women he said "just let it come from the heart."

Really think hard about what that means.

Your convos should come from things that you truly have an interest in. Asking "how is your day" is fine, but you need to pick up something from that you have a genuine interest in a run with it, or like you said it will go stale. If you have no interest in the topics of course it's going to run stale! This is how girls are!

A way of asking the same thing is "did you do anything fun today?" Then if they say something you enjoy too you can run with that!

If you want to be good at conversation it takes a lot of practice. It took me several years to be able to hold and direct and dominate it. And it's bc of my thorough understanding of tactics and good general knowledge base.

If you have to think hard about what it means, to speak from the heart you aren't speaking from the heart. It's great advice for those that understand, but it's completely out of reach for those who aren't on that social level. Its almost as if i said " Hey can you pass me that beer" and you said " Well how do I pass it to you" and I said " Reach your arm and grab it with your hands" and then you said " Well how do I reach my arm and grab it".. It'll be a never ended dialog between someone that just doesn't understand one of their bodily functions.

Its too simple to contemplate, but many of us are far too complicated to wrap their heads around something that simple.

You just have to "get it" and if not, you'll have to find another way until you do.

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You don't want to think hard to speak from the heart when you're in the middle of trying to pick up a girl. The hard thinking I was talking about is supposed to be by yourself, before approaching and when you are trying to figure out where you fell short in your recent pickup attempts.

Since this guy is not happy with his conversations, he likely hasn't done much introspection. Strong interpersonal connections are most often founded best when two people have common interests. If you're not interested in several popular things or what another person has to say well then you're gonna have problems. I also stressed the importance of being well rounded and knowing a little about a lot of things.

Mystery said it's not just about girls. The extrapolation of that statement is it is more important to expand yourself as a person. Building a better life will make you more successful with women because it will likely lead to things such as an increase in social skills. Without well roundedness and lots of oddball conversational exp it will be difficult to execute properly what the OP is seeking.

Anyway, figure out those things you really like and engage people with those things. Some of the things I love that most other people find interesting are psychology/relationships, fashion, reading, working out, art, running, and traveling to name a few. Try engaging people on these topics... I.E. "Wow those close are neat where did you get them?" or "You sound smart I bet you read a lot, what was the last thing you read?"

Thanks for the honest advice.

People often discourage me from trying to improve my general knowledge base to become a better conversationalist. That is because for most people the way they interpret the world is different and they learn more from experience than trying to go back and analyse that experience. So they cannot understand why I would want to build a factual basis for communication that they have already developed naturally.

You say it took you several years to learn convo. Well, I am in a similar predicament. It is just so frustrating and emotionally upsetting that I have not been able to get the basics of something so integral to human interaction. Something that most people were able to learn in secondary school but for some odd reason I just didn't 'get it'.

It's weird how listening to people talk they will rocket from topics about food and lifestyle to celebrities, favourite movies and books and then insist that you don't need this fundamental cultural background to communicate. You just need to get out of your own head and stop analysing.

I trust them because so many people are saying the same thing to me. Really and truly I have no better option. I just wish there was some way they could explain this to me so I could understand what it is they're trying to say EXACTLY.

It doesn't help that when I'm in sets, 'no' tends to be a favourite word of most girls:

ME: Tell me something interesting about yourself
THEM: Uh, there's nothing really I'm quite dull.
ME: Any passions?
THEM: Uh, not that I can think of. I can tell you what I do for a living.
ME:So what you up to today?
THEM: Just shopping.
ME: Do anything interesting earlier?
THEM: Meh.

I guess it is a reluctancy to speak to strangers, so I can't really blame them for that. Just wish I was better at getting people to open up.