1. We used to disrespect each other all the time but no boundaries set, with guys+girls
2. I set boundaries that we both agreed on. Long time friends are ok, exes not ok, encouraging people who you know want to get with you is not ok, but people from work, ok
3. Her ex keeps texting her first, she tells me a time or two, so I get on the phone with her ex and tell him to leave her alone. Never comes up again. She never crosses a single line for over a year
4.I see in her phone this guy she works with having a consistent conversation
5.She sees me texting a long time friend that is a girl. We get on the topic of who is and isn't ok again. She says encouraging not ok, just like we said before

Now here we are

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mpuaforum.proboards.com

ok,, and now the problem is that she lied to your face about the guy even though it wasn't against the rules in order to make herself appear trustworthy, and not upset you.

Little did she know that you crossed her boundary and betrayed her trust by sneaking into her phone. So you knew she was lying to your face.

Sound about right?

Ok, well she lied to appease you. How do you feel about that? I guess there was no boundary set to not to lie to appease each other. So Yes, you do need to tell her the truth if you had a problem with her lieing to you. Because this will fester in you and later on even if you can't put your finger on it you'll have doubts as to whether or not she is truthful with you.

But how does this conversation go? First apologize for not being truthful with her. You were wrong so man up and admit it.

baby I'm sorry, but I haven't been completely honest with you. I looked in your phone and saw a guy from work had been texting you. (She will be upset, specifically because you don't trust her, I don't know if she's mature enough to take into account that she in fact lied to your face.)

Let her rant about that without being upset then explain to her that you know it's YOUR fault for feeling insecure enough to check her phone, but it upset you that she didn't tell you the truth, and honesty is very important to you, and even if she feels like you might get a little upset it's most important to you that she tells you the truth.

Once things are aired out. Move on. No biggie. You'll need to look into why you checked her phone though, why do you think that is?

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"Keep your head up in the sky, you just a baby."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HccL8jUIIWU - Adoration of the Magi Lupe Fiasco

She lied. But I don't know what calling a liar out can accomplish.

You lied too...