Hundreds of Approaches and No Success.

When we say success... C'mon you know I'm talking about beating guts.

I was shocked to discover recently that this is actually a common thing.

Here's the thing, there's a reason why you've approached hundreds of women and aren't getting any progress.

The specific reason might be different for each one of you, but the general reason is that your pick up pedagogy has a or multiple holes in it.

You're triggering a red flag somewhere along the lines of first impression to penetration.

I play a lot of chess. If I lost 500 games in a row then clearly I'm doing something wrong. It's not some curse or magical force preventing me from winning, it's me. Things are happening in the game outside of my awareness which cause me to lose.

So, I'm going to provide you a few things to ask yourself here, and you need to be man enough to be honest with yourself.

Am I in shape?
Is my style (if not outstanding) at least not getting in my way?
Is my inside congruent with my outside?
Do I feel like I'm arrogant or confident?
What sort of body language am I projecting? Do I even know what my projections trigger in the women?
Has anything I've ever done gotten a positive reaction out of a woman?
Why am I not doing more of that?
Do I even know the steps to the human mating dance?
Am I using the best tools known to handle each stage?
Am I pushing my interactions along to the close?
Do I say a ton of pointless fluff stuff that does not help me get to my goal?
At what point between first impression and penetration do I get rejected the most often?
Why at that point do I get the most rejections, is it normal for the methods I use?
What commonly works best for this point?
Why can't I get it to work for me if many others can get it to work for them?
Do I listen to advice and make a real effort on it or do I just hear and acknowledge it in my head?
Am I a sloth?
Am I dull?
Do I not care enough to put the effort in?
Am I only doing stuff that sounds easy, and not the stuff that is the best?
What RED FLAG am I triggering?

You're post makes me feel like you have low self esteem. I'll read your field reports later to get a better understanding of how you play the game.

Of those 500 how many numbers did you get? of those numbers how many turned into dates?

Also, it might be a clothing problem, it may be a body language or in-congruence issue.

I've had several guys try this experiment and it has worked for nearly 80% of them.

Approach 10 women a day, 3 days a week for 2 months without masturbating or watching porn and you will get laid. Don't ask questions, just try it. Whats another 2 months to you reaching a goal of yours.

If you're coming from a "low" place, 500 approaches isn't much at all. Its like taking 500 jump shots and expecting to become a pro at basketball. Depending on your current level you have to get out there over and over again until you crack and have break throughs.

Ok, I will try not to masturbate but doing this over a long period of time is hard. Sometimes I find it hard to concentrate on my interaction with a woman if I'm full of sexual energy and, if for example, she has a low cut dress or something.
I have fear doing these approaches in a public place, in case I am perceived as threatening or something. This is especially the case when I am trying to get the non-verbals correct:

- get the woman to stop walking
- direct eye contact
- make kino (e.g. hold her hand)

So this is probably why 500 approaches has seemed like such a daunting task. It is especially the case, since I fear that people will notice what I'm doing.

I'm just a wreck and I hate doing it and feel resentful about not being successful. Even though I know that the world does not owe me, it feels like these girls put themselves on a pedestal above me and turn their noses up.

Thanks for the advice though.

The Obsession of Greatness

I was watching a gnostic video on Isaac Newton and the way he lived his life made since why he ended up so great at what he did.

He was passionate about his craft up to and passed the point of madness. He ENJOYED spending hundreds of hours sitting in a room contemplating the universe and solving complex mathematical equations.

If you're bad at this stuff, I mean really awful - like beginner level, and you have aspirations to be great at it. The first thing you need is enjoyment, the second is passion and obsession.

It's not good to live solely for pick up, but the beauty of this stuff is that creating value and status in your life is an attractive quality to women. You need goals for yourself outside of meeting women that are productive.

So, I suggest you become obsessed with this area of your life. Make it as funner than playing video games or watching movies, or what ever you do for fun right now. Enjoyment is key. When you enjoy something there isn't enough time in the day do it, especially when you're obsessed with it also.

Be obsessed with making your skills better, be obsessed with your inner psychology, be obsessed with thinking positively, be obsessed with creating value in your life, be obsessed with raising your status.

Enjoyment and Passion/Obsession is the killer combo to becoming great at something.


P.S. - If You're curious about the video I was watching, you can find it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AIRdtSNrUUg

Now, I've looked at your field report, and you do a ton of confidence build up like things. You put a ton of pressure on yourself to approach. Too much IMO. It's the reason your still experiencing nerves after 500 of them.

Is it 3 or 4 dates?

So simply put with your current skills you need to talk to at least ~167 women to get a date. So there is no point in putting emphasis on any 1 approach. Like...Honestly, fuck that shit. You'll be suffering a lot if you think about it.

Excuses are the nails that build the house of failure bro. I'm telling you how to be successful, and you're telling me why you can't be/haven't been successful. Whats the point of the post then?

This is about approaching 4 women within the same 15 mins.

Am I in shape?

In good shape and can do 100 push-ups. But I would like to be more jacked and eat more healthily.

Is my style (if not outstanding) at least not getting in my way?

Too passive, not dominant or assertive enough.

Is my inside congruent with my outside?

In some ways, I would like to be able to convey / communicate the things I've achieved a lot better. Inner confidence IS a problem, but it is more of a problem that I don't sell myself.

Do I feel like I'm arrogant or confident?

Not really. When I am pushy or arrogant it is usually just an act, often to deflate the egos of people who act like that themselves.

What sort of body language am I projecting? Do I even know what my projections trigger in the women?

Too limp / relaxed. Hard time standing straight in spite of doing yoga and having good core mobility. I think this is because I am trying to feel comfortable when speaking to people.

Has anything I've ever done gotten a positive reaction out of a woman?

Yes, I can say this much.

Why am I not doing more of that?

Lots of women are highly antagonistic to the idea of speaking to strangers. This could be a UK thing.

Do I even know the steps to the human mating dance?

Uh, I can only guess what this question means. If I guessed right then it's already been answered with the whole being a virgin thing.

Am I using the best tools known to handle each stage?

Again, not sure what this means.

Am I pushing my interactions along to the close?

No, persistence is a sticking point. For example, some of my wings will be aggressive and talk to the same girl a second or third time, even after she has left set. I have a hard time doing that and I have a hard time pushing forwards after the girl has told me she has a boyfriend or that she is not interested in me. If they say they are in a rush I don't keep them for long.

Do I say a ton of pointless fluff stuff that does not help me get to my goal?

Most of my interactions could actually be longer. When I can't think of much to say, I generally just push towards a close.

At what point between first impression and penetration do I get rejected the most often?

Most girls just walk off as soon as my intentions for talking to them are clear. Sometimes before.

Why at that point do I get the most rejections, is it normal for the methods I use?

Perhaps not being dominant / assertive enough.

What commonly works best for this point?

Being more relaxed, since the girl is more likely to give me time of day if I am not perceived as a threat.

Why can't I get it to work for me if many others can get it to work for them?

Maybe my personality is just too introverted and analytical to be successful with cold approach.

Do I listen to advice and make a real effort on it or do I just hear and acknowledge it in my head?

Sometimes I overanalyse advice that is given to me, try looking at it from too many different angles and the result is that, I just end up rationalising and making excuses for my own short comings.

Am I a sloth?

My proactivity has taken a decline in the last few months. Mainly because of changes in circumstance. Partly because I have been dedicating a lot of time to pick-up. My last year in university I was highly proactive and my fitness sky rocketed. In spite of all this I didn't get any girlfriends so I wanted to work on my game instead for a bit.

Am I dull?

Maybe a little.

Do I not care enough to put the effort in?

I care a lot. Especially the last few months, I have approached more women than ever before in my life.

Am I only doing stuff that sounds easy, and not the stuff that is the best?

I haven't found any of this stuff easy at all.

What RED FLAG am I triggering?

Too needy, too creepy.

I've been visualizing and physically rehearsing going through kino stages when I see certain reactions elicited.

I first spend 15 minutes walking in large circles like how I walk down the street focusing on the right projection and getting my body used to standing a certain way.

At first my freaking back was hurting because it was weak due to my poor posture. Now it feels natural to walk and stand like this and I'm doing it automatically without thinking about it.

So then I walk up to a girl (vizually in my head, but performing the same action in real life by myself)

I never make a bee line for her I circle and hit her at an angle and talk over my shoulder to her.

I deliver my opening line. I've got a few simple ones, and initiate kino.

Then I practice injecting certain emotions into my voice. At this stage I'm going for light and teasing. I turn towards her after she faces me. and I time myself turning towards her turning away, and leaning back on my heals vs leaning forward to give positive cues. I'm just telling jokes and being silly outloud to get myself in that frame of mind, I'm not actually holding a conversation with myself or anything, but I visualize the woman there responding well to everything. Sometimes she will get cold and I'll respond with negative body language and she'll perk up a bit.
I practice escalating kino in thin air so when I do it in real life my body is used to the movement and it appears natural instead of forced.

When I hit a certain kino point I switch from light and teasing banter into more a more friendly personal air. I practice a few comfort building conversational techniques I've studied, and my tone has sincere, friendly emotion injected into it.

I practice bringing up topics that I then paint the picture of her and I doing together. Gambler calls this seeding dates.

I Practice holding more positive body language now than before.

After I feel like enough comfort is established via her body language and what not (this is an art I guess that will get better in field, for now I'm just imagining when I hit a certain kino check point she has enough comfort already), I switch my tone from friendly to sexual (not sleazy) and I begin artfully using pauses to create tension and putting a little more emphasis on words that could have sexual meaning if said in a different context. Words like wet, suck, fuck, hot, etc.
I start trying to transfer my sexual intent unto her and I start using kino that a friend wouldn't do.

I reach the point of kino where I try to move her so I go through a few lines of getting an instant date I read off here. Sometimes I get the instant date sometimes it's rejected. When it's rejected I go for a kiss close, weather or not it's rejected I then go for the number.
If she moves with the instant date I practice escalating further to a kiss and extracting her to a sex location using a few lines from here. I get my lines mainly from reading field reports.

If the extraction doesn't work I do another kiss close and then number close

If the extraction does work:

It doesn't matter if I'm in a club, the mall, or on the street, I see myself in a taxi with the girl doing kino and talking, or getting a kiss here and there until I get to my house where I perform closing kino.

I physically practice all kino while I visualize.

I'll need to come up with something for a restaurant-bar like environment.

I'm just focusing on a one set for this practice. After I get this down I'll do a 2 set and group dynamics practice.