After a direct opener what comes next..?



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PostPosted: Thu Jun 11, 2015 4:29 am 
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Ok, so today I decided it was time to get out of my comfort zone and approach a girl who I think is attractive. As I was walking, I spotted an hb around 8.5, and although I walked by her the first time I saw her, but the second time I decided to man up and just do it. So I approached her and used a direct opener; it went something like this:
Me- Hey, i just wanted to come here and tell you that I think you look beautiful, and I wanted to introduce myself
Her- (smiled) thank you
Then I asked her her name and told her mine, but right after we exchange names it feels like I don't know what to say to her next. I wanted to have an interesting conversation that could eventually lead to a date, but it ended up being dry and tasteless until I decided to leave cause I didn't see the point anymore.

After I left the conversation with the girl (without the #), I felt a momentum and I wanted to approach another girl with a different opener. I walked around and found another hb and decided to use an indirect opener. I pretended that I didn't know where a place was and asked her for directions, and later revealed to her that I already knew where the place was and only asked her cause I thought she was cute and wanted to talk to her. She thought it was cute and I saw that she was interested, but again after we exchanged names I don't seem to know what to say next that could make the conversation more interesting.
I don't want to ask her a lot of questions and risk the conversation sounding more like an interview than a conversation.
Can anyone out there who has had this problem please give me some advice, I really need it.


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 11, 2015 7:10 am 
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The goal early in any conversation is to break rapport to establish some baseline attraction. Then, talk about activities she likes to do and number close on doing an activity with her. Since you are going direct, saying, "What's your number?" is fine to get her number if you can't find an activity for her to agree to when you are in front of her. If you went indirect, grounding the number close is more important.

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 11, 2015 5:08 pm 
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Would an interview be better than just not knowing what to say? I think if you had to settle between an interview conversation and no conversation at all you would just select the interview. Maybe not?

Anyway, at the more you approach the more you will begin to develop your conversational skills. I still sometimes have to revert to "interview" mode just until I get warmed up. Once you're warmed up, everything just sort of flows. So you're onto the right track.

Question: Are you getting the girls to stop when you approach them or are you talking to them as they are walking? Rarely if ever are you are going to get a girl invested so long as she is moving onto her destination will talking to you as a side mission. You need to become the primary focus. Don't walk with them. Approach with your opener and just stop motion. They may walk a bit, but if theres interest they will stop and turn around once they see you aren't following. You don't have to follow. Its them that will be missing out if they don't stop and find out what it is you have to say. Once you get the girl to stop, she's there with you. And if she's stopped, she's semi invested and will likely follow up your interview with a few questions of her own. Then you guys are flowing.

Get in the zone man. Do rapid approaches.. Those help a a lot. Don't just approach one girl every 20 minutes. You'll constantly have to cool off and reheat this way. Approach about 5-6 girls within that 20 minutes to keep your motor going.

This problem will likely correct itself with time. You'll find some women easier to talk to then others. They'll get your conversational skills going.

Just keep it up. Get out there at least 3 times a week. An condense as many approaches as you can into one-2 hours.

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 11, 2015 5:36 pm 
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Quote:
Would an interview be better than just not knowing what to say? I think if you had to settle between an interview conversation and no conversation at all you would just select the interview. Maybe not?

Anyway, at the more you approach the more you will begin to develop your conversational skills. I still sometimes have to revert to "interview" mode just until I get warmed up. Once you're warmed up, everything just sort of flows. So you're onto the right track.
+1

Just remember that the "interview question" is a setup question that allows you to get her to open up about something/anything. You can follow up the interview question with a feeling/emotion question. The feeling/emotion question allows you to find something that you have common ground with and it forms a connection.

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 12, 2015 1:43 am 
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Quote:
Would an interview be better than just not knowing what to say? I think if you had to settle between an interview conversation and no conversation at all you would just select the interview. Maybe not?

Anyway, at the more you approach the more you will begin to develop your conversational skills. I still sometimes have to revert to "interview" mode just until I get warmed up. Once you're warmed up, everything just sort of flows. So you're onto the right track.

Question: Are you getting the girls to stop when you approach them or are you talking to them as they are walking? Rarely if ever are you are going to get a girl invested so long as she is moving onto her destination will talking to you as a side mission. You need to become the primary focus. Don't walk with them. Approach with your opener and just stop motion. They may walk a bit, but if theres interest they will stop and turn around once they see you aren't following. You don't have to follow. Its them that will be missing out if they don't stop and find out what it is you have to say. Once you get the girl to stop, she's there with you. And if she's stopped, she's semi invested and will likely follow up your interview with a few questions of her own. Then you guys are flowing.

Get in the zone man. Do rapid approaches.. Those help a a lot. Don't just approach one girl every 20 minutes. You'll constantly have to cool off and reheat this way. Approach about 5-6 girls within that 20 minutes to keep your motor going.

This problem will likely correct itself with time. You'll find some women easier to talk to then others. They'll get your conversational skills going.

Just keep it up. Get out there at least 3 times a week. An condense as many approaches as you can into one-2 hours.
To answer your question, the two girls I approached were both sitting down, but I do understand what you're saying about the situation if they're moving and I will try that in the future. Also I am trying to get out there more often and do more approaches, and i hope this problem corrects itself.


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 12, 2015 1:52 am 
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I had this happen to me while first starting out. The trick is transitional phrases.

Anyway, Hey while I have you, (Oh, that reminds me)

Shit like that. And then deliver the question right after the opener to giver her mind an easy place to go. She also agrees to the terms of the romantic engagement if she answers the question through backwards rationalization, and cognitive dissonance.

So it's like - (direct opener). Anyway, (interview question, emotional question, situational question, - make sure it's never a yes or no question) listen to her answer and spring board off any of the topics she presents.

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