So far I have had 3 nights with my new friends with benefits. She is 30, I am a couple years older. I like her a lot, she emphasized more than once how wonderful our first date was and also said last time that she is happy with our dates. Besides sex we also cuddle, talk about intimate stuff, hold hands in bed while watching tv, have breakfast. However, she also said (without me asking) this is only fun for her and I shouldn't worry because she wont fall in love. (I didn't say I would worry before). I was a bit shocked, but played cool and simply didn't reply anything.

The thing is I initiated all 3 dates. She agreed, sometimes enthusiastically, and we texted each other every other day. But now, our last date was a week ago and we haven't heard from each other since then.

I didn't contact her since cos I thought I will lose attraction when I always initiate (Generally she isn't too shy) and do not give her the opportunity to invest. Unfortunately she does not. No contact for a week now, which never happened before. I only see that she is (like me) active on the dating website where we met (but this also happened the weeks before). We haven't talked about exclusiveness or the other having other fwb yet. I date others and guess she does too.

I feel trapped: I feel like I am losing her if I don't ask her for another date, but also feel like I am losing her if I do ask her for the fourth time in a row for a date because I would start to come off as needy. I would love to talk with her openly about the topic, but I think it would also look needy and desperate if I ask her why she doesn't call or suggest a date.

Maybe I am also starting to like her a little bit too much. I am unsure if she has realized this by me initiating touching (but on the other hand I joked that I am into younger girls than her).

Did I do something wrong? How should I react? Just ask once again for a date as if nothing happened? Ask her "Are you okay? Haven't heard anything from you last week"? Or ask again for a date and ask her at this date if I did something offensive?

Not one answer? Cmon...

Is it still considered Fwb if you're taking her out on dates?

I don't get what the problem is. You decided to go no contact. This is the result.

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How does she become a friends with benefits if you have yet to sleep with her? Or have you? Because I missed that part.

Within these three dates what is the further you two have gone?

Its sounds like you're thinking "relationship" and she's thinking "Fun" and thats whats keeping you out the game. A girl doesn't just want to be given your freedom, or you time. She wants to feel like she earned it, she wants to feel like you settling down was something she had to seduce you into doing. 9 times out of ten when you give yourself away you'll be looking at a 6 months oneitis relationship tops.

You can push if you want to. But i think its crucial for every man to learn to let go and walk away while there is still opportunity. This is what will build you emotional fortitude to the level that allows you to attract higher quality women. You can't win them all, and trying to will leave you with the bottom of the barrel.

Learn to walk while there are still cards on the table, this is what will build you for the future. Expending all your options will create an internal desperation that will follow you beyond this point.

She's ain't nothing special man. Why are you posting about her like her she is?

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@Eddyfews Of course we had sex everytime. I didnt write it cos I thought thats clear when I call it FWB.

I know I have to make her chase instead of chasing her but I have no idea how when she never calls, only calls backs when I call. I know learn to let go and walk away can lead to amazing results. But you risk you just walk away without her returning to you. And unfortunately I have the feeling this would happen.

@Jackzero I only did not contact her to make her miss me and contact me, which didnt work. Isnt it fair to expect that everyone of two people initiates 50% contact?

@neo87 yeah, taking her out on dates seems to be a good option. Only problem is I always have to call her and suggest activities which could make a clingy impression.

There is no growth without sacrifice. So you're saying, " I don't want to grow. I just want to stay on this level and have this girl that isn't paying me the level of attention that I want". So without sacrifice/growth you will continue to get what you are getting now, which is a woman that pays you so little attention you have to log onto forums to post about her. If thats what you want, then continue as you are. If you genuinely want to push to the next level in which you won't have to do that, you're going to have to be "willing" to give something up.

No risk, no reward. This girl clearly isn't GF material. So you want to use this situation as a stepping stone to elevate you to a level that makes your more suitable for your next relationship. If you don't learn it now, you'll have to learn it later; and the problems will perpetuate until you do.

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How would I do this? Simply continue not calling? One problem is so many men are into her.

Show me one attractive woman that so many men aren't into... Just one.

Now who is the guy that she would be willing to drop everything for and do anything to be with? The guy thats not afraid to lose her. I'm not saying by going no contact you will get this girl. You currently don't have the attitude to have her in anyway other than the way you do now. What I am saying is, dropping her and letting her go will help you build the attitude that women of her caliber will be more willing to drop it all for in the future.

You're behind her on a one way street trying to get ahead. Its not going to happen at this rate. You have to reverse and go a new direction.

If you're fine with how things are now then do nothing. But I don't think this is why you made this post. I'm giving you "diet & exercise" advice, but I'm guessing you came here looking for "magic weight loss pill" advice. And we all know how long that last.

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She put up her defense mechanism. You had sex and then did the mental intimacy stuff. So she told you she was only in it for the fun. IMO, I think that was her resisting catching any type of feelings for you. So going no contact with her helps her with that resistance.

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I'm confused. So this is a fwb...why do you care about coming off needy? For a fwb, the most important thing imo is you're fucking her well. Forget coming across as needy. Both of you are in it for the sex and fooling around. Sounds like you're in a weird no strings attached/dating/bf gf talk/power game thing.

Obviously your FWB means a lot more to you than vice versa. She stated up front that she's in it for fun, so getting caught up over her calling you back is bad. Obviously she is trying to not show TOO much interest, and you should start doing the same.

Start going out with other women and have other things on your plate. Don't worry about "who calls" first because you guys are NOT in a relationship and she has NO obligation to call. If you want to call her, call. And stop with the expectations.