I wrote this about a week ago, after having an unsuccessful night. Having written it, I feel like I've sort of answered my own question, but I'll post anyway.

When approaching, I know it's best to act as soon as you see a girl, without thinking what you're going to say. Although the way I see it, is that there is the chance that you will literally have nothing to say after the initial 'hello'. The other thing, is that often (because I'm trying to be different), I'll choose dead air space over saying something typical... like "so how's your night going?". She might say "how's yours going" knowing that my answer really depends on how things go with her... or at least you feel that way. Does anyone else every feel this way? I mean, I know they're not good thoughts to have, and that it mightn't be encouraged in the forum to dwell on such stuff, but I think there may be a reason for it.

Another thing I don't like, is when I'm scanning for women, and then I turn around at and she's right there looking at me. And I feel unprepared and either nothing, or a lame approach. Anyone know what I mean by this. So I guess the best attitude, is to approach knowing I'm about to make a hundred mistakes, rather than getting my hopes up. The other thing is, I know I could easily go over to a girl and do/say something that would peak her curiosity & make myself look cool for the first 15 seconds or so, but after that I'd fall flat... dead air space. In other words, it's easy to find excuses to not interact with a stranger, when often there's not a lot to say. I'm good at going against the fear, but I'm not yet convinced it's much good if you don't think you're a natural.

So is this what I expect? To approach one minute, and look like a complete idiot, by looking like someone who either clearly doesn't know what he's doing, or who looks like he's trying to be somebody he's not AND then the next minute(having fearlessly continued with the method) to make progress.

Essentially that's what it boils down to for beginners... coming to terms with potentially looking like idiot. And if you think about it, there are actually many reasons one will not want to look like an idiot. Because of your perception of yourself, because of your status, and also because you know you'll take that feeling with you for quite a while and it make effect how you behave during that while. I don't know if it's made clear on this site, that one should expect to look like an idiot(to put it bluntly), but that's the case!

I also often forget the possibility of being able interact with girls from a far, with a wink or whatever. All too often do I see myself looking at a girl from a far, who when she returns my gaze, the only thing I think is "shit, now I have to act quickly, or it will take more courage to act". I've gotta stop that.

When I read this, it makes me think that you sit around thinking about "what if". The only "what if" you should worry about is what if you don't take that step over and try to say something.

What I like about you is that it seems that you aren't afraid to talk to a girl. However, from the surface level it sounds like your actual goal is to go out and get a girl and a successful night depends on it. From my experience, more women are drawn to me and they are more approachable when my focus is on enjoying my surroundings and/or have another purpose for being out. My theory is that this happens because positive energy is genuine and it is something that you can communicate verbally and that positive energy will be returned back to you and in the end you can have a natural free flowing conversation.

_________________
mpuaforum.proboards.com

Thanks, I know what you mean.

Thing for me now, is that college ended last week, and nearly everyone's gone home. However, I'm waiting out the final week and a half until the rent is up. So there's no one for me to go out with.

I went out once this week(last night) alone, and it wasn't the same. It was harder to get in on the action as I didn't know anyone.