So I've been out with this HB 8 a few times now and I started off strong, negging, push-pull, DHVing, etc and she was initially attracted and all that shit, but things are kind of going stale and I need to bounce back.

We are scheduled to hang out and grab some food this Wed. and I need your guys' ideas on how to regain control and get myself back in the driver's seat.

Problem is, last week a bit of "one-itis" took over and I sort of sent some dumb ass texts while I was inebriated, one of which was "I miss you". Shit! I think that was a bad one on my part to spit out so early in the dating process, but that's what happened. I didn't think it was so bad at first b/c she was sending me texts back like, "I need you here now", and "I had fun hangin with you the other day, too" and shit like that, but ever since then I've been getting IOD's (indicators of disinterest), and I need to get back on the horse.

Here's what her behavior's been like since our last date and over the past week. I asked her to a semi-formal alumni event about a week and a half ago and she was super psyched about it originally. About dressing up and all that fun girly stuff chicks get excited about. Then she said she might be out of town to see her sis before she heads off on a trip and would have to get back to me on whether she could make the event. I thought an IOD. Last night she told me she'll be in town, but made no mention of the event, which I took as she's not really interested going, since if she was, she'd totally let me know. IOD.


Then last Thursday she sent me a text at like 12 midnight saying, "are you still up?". I thought that was an IOI, but when I responded "yes", I got nothing back. Whatever, she probably fell asleep. No big deal. I brushed that off as insignificant.

We texted on Friday some blah blah blah shit like, crazy weather, what we were having for lunch etc. etc. Nothing of substance.

Then this past weekend I was hoping to get some action on Saturday night, hopefully after we had both been out for a while. I texted her about 9:30 pm saying, "How are you?". I got nothing in return the entire night (usually she's pretty prompt about texting back). So, shit, that's like another IOD.

Then Sunday (yesterday), while nursing my hangover, I called her in the early evening. She picked up pretty promptly but said she needed to call me back. She was on the other line with a friend. She calls me back 20 mins later and we shoot the shit and I ask her when she's takin me out (she owes me a date). She says, "whenever you want", and I reply, "I usually feel like eating Indian on Wednesdays". She's like, "cool, that works for me". I'm like, "okay cool". So that's on this Wednesday. We keep talking for a bit, but then says she has to go, she has another call coming in it's, "her friend that she hasn't spoken to in a while". We had a 6 minute phone conversation. So I think I basically got brushed off for her friend. Another IOD?

Anyway, I know I'm analyzing this pretty hardcore, but just wanted to get your guys' input on what you think and how I can get myself back into the driver's seat and in control. She knows I like her so I need to maybe show some IODs or hook up the Cat String Theory, but I need ideas on specifically what behavior to exhibit on Wednesday while we're out at dinner. Any specifics or general ideas/advice you have for me would be greatly appreciated.

We had a great date a week ago before that night that we both got drunk and sent texts to each other. It was a pleasant brunch on the UWS of Manhattan and I thought it went well. After that, well you know what happened. Kind of downhill over the past week. I don't think all is lost, but I need to regain the upper hand. Not sure if I'm over thinking this shit, but you guys know what happens when you start liking a specific girl. Your emotions start fucking you all up and start messing with your game, which is exactly what is happening here.

Aside from that, if any of you are in Manhattan and want to sarge send me a message and I'd be totally up for that. Keep it real bruthas and thanks for your help.

Girls like a chase mate, which you are not giving her. She should be working around you, not you around her.
See how the Wednesday dinner goes, then get back to us.
I would probably keep gaming other girls, make yourself in demand.

I think the text on Saturday night was a big no-no. That shows you ain't got shit goin on on the most social night of the week. Big DLV. At that point she probably thinks she is just a piece of ass to you. I could understand why she was short with you on Sunday if she is getting that impression.

Remeber, always be the one to end the conversation. Sunday was your chance to gain control when speaking to her on the phone. Right now she has control. Don't over-think this shit, otherwise you will end up being too uptight and not loose enough on wednesday night. Just relax about it for a while. I think if you are coming on too strong and needy.

If you talk to her between now and then, make sure its playful and you have an upbeat positve vibe about you. There is a thread about texting on here somewhere. I like the "Ok, I texted you. What are your other 2 wishes? =)"

Good luck, and remeber to reeeeeeeeeeeelllllaaaaaaaaaaaaaxxx.............

No doubt, I'm definitely gonna chase other girls. There are tons of others like her, just need to get out there and keep gamin. Thanks for the advice. I'll touch base after the Wed night dinner.

Thanks. Definitely great advice. Yeah, I have to turn my phone off after 2 am man. Definitely a no-no. I wasn't even thinking that I should end the conversation early on Sunday. I don't think I'll contact her until Wed. Until then hopefully get a sarge session on with a local wing and move on. A good exercise before the dinner and I think it'll be okay. Not a big deal either way. Like you said, RREEEEEELLLLAAAXXXX!! Thanks guys.

I like the text routine by the way. Nice.

Thanks Hobbit.

Yeah, I'm not really sure how she perceived the texts on Saturday night. I was out with her earlier in the day for brunch and it was a good time with pretty good conversation and ended on a good note. This was in New York City. Then we said goodbye as I was on my way to the airport bound for Fort Worth, TX where I was visiting my family. All the texting was between NYC and Texas and was between 2-3 am later that night. I actually spoke to her after all the texting for about 15 mins. We were both pretty hammered.

The next day we were both nursing a hangover and chatted around noon (over the phone). Everything seemed cool. So, Hobbit, what you say about the texting being a DLV seems accurate. She knew I was out having a good time in TX with my family, which I would think might be a DHV, but who knows. We'll see. Time will tell.

Ok, i must have missed something in the story then. Im just goin by the info provided. Were you in TX on Saturday night? or NYC? I wasn't saying that he should be home in bed. I generally make my plans earlier in the day for Saturday evening. she could have had plans. Trying to make last minute plans for Saturday night seems like a booty call. I guess in NYC last minute plans are at probably 4am.

Texting her a gernal quesiton that late might show you are sitting at home alone trying to figure out what to do. Which IMO would be DLV. Remeber being a PUA , you are a busy guy, with busy saturday night schedule. Im not saying you blew it at all, the date is still on. Right?

If you were hanging out earlier that day than maybe you should have set something up for the evening.

Im the afc king of over-analyzing. Ive been there, and disected every sentence of a date and over thought every conversation with girls i was really into in the past. Just relax and roll with it....

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Ok, i must have missed something in the story then. Im just goin by the info provided. Were you in TX on Saturday night? or NYC? I wasn't saying that he should be home in bed. I generally make my plans earlier in the day for Saturday evening. she could have had plans. Trying to make last minute plans for Saturday night seems like a booty call. I guess in NYC last minute plans are at probably 4am.

Texting her a gernal quesiton that late might show you are sitting at home alone trying to figure out what to do. Which IMO would be DLV. Remeber being a PUA , you are a busy guy, with busy saturday night schedule. Im not saying you blew it at all, the date is still on. Right?

If you were hanging out earlier that day than maybe you should have set something up for the evening.

Im the afc king of over-analyzing. Ive been there, and disected every sentence of a date and over thought every conversation with girls i was really into in the past. Just relax and roll with it....[/quote]


This is the breakdown:

NYC Saturday
1230pm - 3pm: With HB having brunch in NYC
5-9pm: My flight to TX (just visiting for a few days)
10-2am Partying with my cousins in TX
2am-3pm: random texting and chatting while drunk to HB (she's still in NYC, I'm in TX)

Then next day (Sunday)
12noon: chat about night before and then leave it at that.


We had no communication at all today, but I'm not concerned. I think the date will be fine. I'll give my feedback once done. In the meantime, sarging tomorrow. Yes, correct, 4 am would be end of partying in NYC, but I wasn't looking for a late night booty call since I was in a different part of the country at the time.

Anyway, glad to hear I'm not the only one dissecting every minute detail of these past events!

Thanks Guys.

Ahhhh.... i understand more now. You did fine. Like DD says, don't worry about not returned or missed calls. If she says shes gonna call you bakc and doesn't, don't worry about it. If you make a big deal about not returned texts and calls than it shows neediness. Not contacting each other everyday is a good thing.

Quit over-analyzing shit, reeeeeeeeeeeelllllllaaaaaaaaaaaaaxxx because dating should be fun. Good luck and let us know how it goes.

Thanks Bruthas.

So our date tonight is off. I texted her last night saying 8pm. She said okay see you then. I forgot, however, that I don't get off work until 8pm and wouldn't be able to make it by 8. So I texted this morning 830. She texts back "if you're going to be rushed tonight why don't we do it another day. I have a work event anyway". I respond texted, "Let's do it another time".

I'm thinking about waiting for her to contact me next. I figure if she's interested enough then she'll text me in a couple of days when she's ready. Whaddya guys think?

Update on 4th date:

(Text Messages, yesterday around noon)
PUA: 845pm, I don't get off work 'till 8.
HB: If it's going to be a rush for you we can do it another time, I have a work event anyway.
PUA: Let's do it another day.

Then I forgot about it. Later that night she calls me. IOI. I took the opportunity to regain control by being the first to have to go. Back on the horse fellas!!

Back on the horse. Don't forget about the freeze out when she shows an IOD. Never punish a girl by freezing her out when she doesn't deserve it, however. Pull in, then push her away, literally just like Matador (or is it Mastodon, -bad ass band -) does on that VH1 show at the club on one of the first episodes.

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Rated R!

Hey man,
I've been in your shoes two times, the first I totally AFCed and lost it all.

The second I played it the way you have, but this time I canceled the date without any reason, just to make myself a bit unavailable. It worked, and then when we did finally got out i kiss closed and started dating her for a while.

Don't over analyze, she might be having a rough day or whatever. I usually never txt on weekend evenings, and even if she does txt I always mention I'm out with friends for a drink or something. You gotta show her you have a lot of social action going on etc.

I thought about suggesting to cancel the date just to try and regain control, but i wouldn't suggest something i couldn't do myself.

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success is my only mother fucking option, failure is not.

PUA: I'm playing in a competition this weekend and there's a dinner cocktail party on Saturday night. You are cordially invited. It is at my club.

HB8: Thanks for the invitation, but I'm heading to Jersey for the weekend. Good luck in the tournament!

That was our latest text message conversation. Pretty sure she's telling the truth about being out of town. What should my next attempt at a date be? Should I wait for her to contact me? I was thinking about maybe a date this Sunday for dinner.