Hey guys,

I've been approaching for a month now, and I've got almost 60 approaches under my belt. Looking over my journal, I have like three common openers:

1. Catch girl looking at me, go and say, "hey, how's it going"
2. See girl I like, go over and say "hey you caught my eye/you seem kinda cute, I just had to come and say hi"
3. Pick something out about her style, , e.g. her jewellery, or what she's doing. Then I say what I like about it

Very occasionally I will open with an opinion opener, but like a lot of the one's PUAs recommend sound weird, for instance, there is something called a bodybuilder opener where you tell the girl you're speaking too that your meeting a friend soon. This friend is a bodybuilder with a fake tan and his girlfriend wants you to tell him that the fake tan doesn't look good. How do you go about telling him this?

Anyway, numbers one and two come across as too generic/too easy. Number three...well to be honest I don't really know much about fashion ... men's fashion maybe, but not women's fashion ... and the compliment rarely comes across as sincere.

Basically, these openers are only really useful if the girl happens to be DTF. Otherwise, for the most part, I'm in serious need of something new. I'd like to use situational openers more often but I think people underestimate how difficult it can be. You have to select something unique about your nearby environment to use as conversational material with somebody you don't even know. Sometimes, there's something that comes to me but it's not usually the case.

I've tried a few pick-up lines but they don't really work that well for me either.

Anyway my question is, what can I do to liven up my approach and get that conversation ball rolling, I think I'm in dire need of it!

Thanks guys.

Stop talking about tans. Clear your head, put your balls on the line and tell her the authentic reason you are approaching her like you're attracted to her??

This otherwise known as being direct.

I am telling you from experience, indirect game in the daytime is as about as fruitful as a fart in a space suit. Don't waste your time unless you look like Brad Pitt/me

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I do! See number two on my list:
In fact this is what I say like 80% of the time, that's why I'm looking for something a little different because it doesn't work.

With the bodybuilder thing, I was trying to mix things up. I said myself I thought it sounds a bit weird.

Thanks for the advice though.

Agreed. Just open her authentically with how you feel in the day time.

"Excuse me, I saw you walking by, and I had to come tell you, that you are really beautiful. I had to come meet you."

Here, she will either give you a strong yes or no, if she stays, stick out your hand and exchange name with her.

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Well 'direct' hasn't worked for me so far, that's all I'm gonna say.

One of my favourite exercises for coming up with your own openers, is to do the OBSERVATION exercise.

What you do is you take a journal with you, you go to a public place where there's lots of girls, and you
start OBSERVING girls.

Then as you're observing, you ask yourself, "What is something about them or about the environment we are
in that I could use to start a conversation with them?"

And you write down at least 3 ideas.

You do this for couple of days, and what will happen is you'll develop your brain to a point where it will be
able to spot natural openers.

You really want to get away from anything canned, and learn to use your gut.

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OK this is actually a pretty class idea. Thanks mate.

This is one of those cool ideas that 1 out of 100 people do.

Just like when you read a book that is telling you to write down your goals. Majority do not

Not trolling, it's a good concept. Just sayin - Hope the OP takes it seriously

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Well, like you say, you're not trolling or anything. But with other 100 approaches in my belt over the last month and going out with wings, I think I've proven to myself if nobody else that I'm willing to go out and actually try shit. Doing this is probably a lot easier than any of that.

I have went through the process of following every different rule book under the sun when it comes to openers and approaching.

The truth to all of this runs much MUCH deeper though. Once you get it...its forever with you and makes everything a whole lot easier!

Heres a video I made that will explain...

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZHeYzGbF5g[/youtube]

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Ok, I feel quite strongly that I am making my intentions clear when I approach.

Maybe I should have clarified that in the OP, so apologies if this hasn't been emphasised strongly enough. If I mix in the occasional canned line, it's because being 'direct' just isn't working for me.

Right now, I'm of the opinion that I've tried and tested this type of 'approach' on a regular enough basis that it's time to freshen things up. In other words, it's not like I'm just running around trying lots of different methods and not giving any one of them a chance to succeed. I've been honing my ability to approach in a way that is direct and that clearly states my intention over a long period of time. Read this: I've made over 100 so-called 'direct' approaches in the last month alone. Sometimes I communicate my sexual attraction verbally, sometimes I feel that the sexual attraction has been stated non-verbally and that this is sufficient. Point in case, the material I'm using is not interesting enough to generate conversation material.

So overall, there needs to be LESS focus on being direct and MORE focus on actually making conversation that is INTERESTING. Apologies if this sounds blunt, but I'm hearing the same advice over and over again from the pick-up community: 'just waltz in there like Schwazzeneger and BE. THE. BOMB.', it's like a broken record player and what's more is...it doesn't work, sorry guys. If you want attraction, you have to say something interesting and that is what experience has taught me. Do I want to be interesting from canned lines? No, of course not, that is because I want to sound spontaneous and natural. But I don't want to just say any old shit: I want to spit QUALITY and I want to say it THEN AND THERE.

Ok, I've just re-read the original post, and I can't see why there is so much confusion being generated. I state my typical opening lines in the first paragraph quite clearly:
There's nothing massively complex about this. None of these are canned lines. None of these take a genius to come up with. And going over to a girl and saying,

"Hey, how's it going?"

TAKES. BALLS.

So I don't get why I'm still getting all this b.s. about not being direct enough. It's quite annoying actually because I know that I've ACTUALLY GONE OUT AND PUT IN TO PRACTICE this 'rocket science' that keyboard jockeys spend hours intellectually masturbating about and then use words like,

'direct opener'
'apocalypse opener'
'gunwitch method'

or whatever shit to describe GOING OUT AND TALKING TO A WOMAN. So please, if anyone else tells me to be 'more direct' I think I'm going to grab a knife and slice my ears off because it doesn't fucking work.

No...

If you want attraction...you should actually BE an interesting person!

You are firmly lodged in a pick-up mentality that is what is fucking you over.

You are trying to find a specific thing that "works". This is not math. You are dealing with different individual women, who are all looking for/needing different things.

This is not a 1 mould fits all. This is where failure over a large span of time is imminent.

Just my opinion though,
Chris

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This is the thing: women can't see behind the invisibility cloak. They only know that you're an interesting person from what you do and what you say about yourself. I'm not saying you can fake it, but you do need some way of communicating and advertising yourself.

Some guys do loads of shit with their life. I do a lot of shit with mine, actually. I'm talking about fire breathers that travel the world and back to go skydiving over the caribbean and then start up a political blog spot based on their adventures in Sudan. But talking to women is a completely different beast. Why?

Because they (women) know fuck all about you and who you are before they get to know you. And yet they are attracted to something that has no shape or form, is essentially intangible and constantly changing with your experience of life.
To be honest, I know for a fact that if I hadn't picked up the game three years ago, I'd be in a significantly worse state than what I am now. What's more is that, I don't really think I'm stuck in pick-up mode when I just say something like,

"hey how's it going"

Or,

"what's the time?"

If anything that is the pretty standard thing that every Tom, Dick and Harry is trying out. If I was really in 'pick-up mode' I'd be using more canned lines and shit. My real sin is that I'm not thinking ENOUGH. Not that I'm thinking TOO MUCH. NOT at all. And a lot of the reason is because of the same old cliched advice people give and you see it a lot on this site. Nobody is really trying to be that creative or original when they tell you to be 'direct' (read, socially retarded douchebag).

Well, I guess this is a good place to post up the exercise I tried today at BlackPhantom's suggestion. The first few girls were walking past so fast I barely had a chance to describe them and the location they were in yet alone think of an opener. However I relocated to a coffee shop when it started to drizzle and I got a bit better at the exercise. I go off at a few tangents because I quite like watching people and the psychology of interaction.
FRIDAY 15/05/2015

Sat on bench next to fountain, xyz square.

Twilight / Dusk.

Mood is sombre: it is the end of everyone's day and the commuters are walking home from work.

Girl in brown jacket w/ black skinnies. Blonde hair and nice handbag.

*Nothing comes to mind to say.

Two girls in black, big scarfs, walking towards. High heels, so walking slowly.

*Nothing

Pink heels, black jacket, with her friend dressed in fuschia pink.

Pink hoodie girl, rips in jeans

* Hey what's with those rips ... you'll get a cut if you trip over.

Navy blue jacket girl with her fellow ... all blue

*Hey are you in the navy? Because that is JUST like a sailor's suit.

COFFEE SHOP

Cute girl, white t-shirt, scribbling in her notebook with different colours.

* I like those patterns (on her t-shirt) ... do you know where they come from?

Other end of cafe, cute blonde on phone, tight blue jeans and blak boots, drinking something fancy like frapuccino. Stops to lean forwards and talk to her friend.

I like that parker ... hope an animal didn't die for you to look good though

Waitress is in mostly green, she has some lovely leafy patterns on her t-shirt. She asks if the empty plates on my table belong to me. I tell her, no.

No, but you can pretend that they're your's and sit and discuss with me for a bit.

On a closer look, the girl in her white t-shirt is studying from her text book. I'm not sure why but I get the feeling it's biology.

Another girl with a patterned t-shirt is sat opposite me with her fellow. I am trying to see what the pattern is without getting caught looking. She has giant sun-glasses on her head.

Hey, do you actually wear those shades to block out the sun, or are they just a fashion statement?

Another girl is by herself. Cool leather jacket, jet black hair. She is on her lap-top. I could ask her:

Hey - you know it's great for us singles to have an excuse to sit at coffee shops ... you've got your laptop, I've got my note pad ... we should totally hook up.

Girl with a stripy top is sat a few metres to the left of the laptop girl. She is also on her own and she looks like she is meant to be revising since she has a heap of books on her table. But instead, she is enthusiastically thumb fucking her phone.

Hey you look super-keen on all this revision you've got to do ... too bad you've got your phone to distract you.

The girl with her boyfriend starts necking it madly with him ... how gross?

Behind me there is a blonde girl in a purple jumper, she is with her fellow also. She is one of those girls that rests her elbow on the table to gesticulate with her hand ... annoying but authoritative. Not much comes to mind ...

The girl with the white t-shirt gets her phone out for a moment. I'm tempted to repeat that procastination line here but feel like that would be a cop out. Instead, how about:

Hey, you know I think revising in such a relaxed environment is a great idea. The smooth jazz, the refreshing caffeine stimulant, the guy trying to hit on you ... ok maybe not that, but, I think you get the idea!

I go to get a coffee refill ... ginger girl with glasses turns around a few times. She seems to be laughing at something. Hope she hasn't had a cheeky look at my notebook while I've been gone. I try to keep looking forwards in case it's ME she's laughing at. Probably being paranoid.

Strong Americano ... mmm ...

Woman with black leather jacket is packing up, she's ready to leave. She is quite dark and mysterious ... sexy.

A girl comes over, she seems to be lookng for a spot to sit. I could offer a chair at my table but she is not my type. Still she is kinda cute. She has a green back pack and is now sat behind me. I can't really see what she is doing but I'm kinda curious ...

Hey, cute back pack ... do you have a puppy in there?

The girl in a stripy top is now talking to a guy. He leaves for a second and she looks over in my direction. I look away, slightly embarassed. The guy is now sitting down. I'm interested in what they are talking about but they are too far away for me to hear ...

The girl with the patterned white t-shirt is now almost exclusively just texting on her phone ... what procastinator! I should totally bust her balls but she would probably just tell me to fuck off!

Two quiet japanese girls sat behind me on opposite sides of the table. They aren't talking to each other, just sitting silently with their headphones on, looking at their laptop screens. One of them has her iphone out also! Such a racial stereotype is being evoked here ... I should totally go over and tell them to stop being so anti-social.

Ok, now the girl in the stripy top is getting ready to leave. I pause writing in my note-book for a minute and she is DEFINITELY looking over. Either she knows what I'm doing OR she is checking me out. I just keep looking forward so as to maintain a strong frame. She looks away and I do the same, then a few moments later, we are exchanging glances, smirking at each other.

So, a couple of things about this:

*1. I pussied out of ACTUALLY GOING OVER and using these lines.

Please don't state the obvious. I've got a journal chock-o-block with approaches like these and I can tell you they go nowhere 90% of the time. And I'm good looking, imagine if I wasn't...These lines are hypothetical, they are just for practice purposes, since I'm fed up of getting shut down, laughed at, rejected and ignored. What's the point of having a constantly battered and bruised ego? It does me no favours. I might as well refine the lines I'm using in order to actually get POSITIVE RESULTS. I'm fed up of this pick-up mentality that goes

"sacrifice you're pride, and get rejected 1,000 times then maybe, just maybe you'll be successful"

Sorry fellows, I'd rather actually try something that WORKS.

* 2. There is no direct statement of attraction in these hypothetical lines!

That's because I don't need to. If I went over and used these lines, then the fact I was doing so would make it obvious that I was attracted to them and that was why I was speaking to these women. I don't need to tell them they're sexy, 'kinda cute' or that they 'caught my eye' (read: the girl has big boobies that I'd like to jizz on). And if the girl happens to give me a kind of semi-retarded / confused dog look (which sometimes happens in semi-retarded / confused dog club environments) then I will directly state attraction in this instance. Either that, or tell her that she's retarded and can't be bothered. It depends on my mood.

* 3. I have a cynical and obnoxious contempt of man kind in general

Try spending most of your childhood, adolescence and young adulthood trying to fit in with crowds and get women while you're still young, constantly being sidelined, ridiculed and rejected. And I'm not talking about being an introverted nerd that prefers the company of his book. I'm talking about being a guy that GETS OUT THERE AND TRIES TO BE POSITIVE AND FRIENDLY BUT GETS NOWHERE. Eventually you will turn into a cynical arsehole as well.

Doing this everyday. Thanks Black Phantom.
Much Luck to ya JHA91