Hello everyone,

Let me begin by a brief review of my situation. I’m a 31 one year old man with Asperger’s. I discovered the whole PUA thing in early 2006 when I was 22. I was living in Dubai at the time and couldn’t really apply anything I’ve learned until much later. I immigrated to Canada in 2007, but I still didn’t do much until I started college and I dated one college girl in 2007, but I got very caught up with university work. That and the fact that I spend a lot of time on my own and most people don’t interest me enough for me to want to hang around them. I’m a giant nerd and like to hang out around other nerds. A lot of those guys, however, are in relationships with other people and do have their own social circles, so they aren’t loners or completely isolated. I did manage to date another girl and that’s when I finally lost my virginity at age 25, albeit I’m not going to hide it, I was very disappointed with the whole experience, and this might have been the biggest reason why I didn’t bother much with dating for years. I’m actually fine being single for the most parts, but some moments do come when I feel lonely or that I’m missing something in my life if I haven’t gotten laid with a dozen girls or something.

When I go out to do things, I generally do them on my own. I say this because I was a part of some other forums dealing with PUAs and I had a lot of problems at that time getting my points across. I consider myself a very confident person, and I have no problems approaching people at all, in fact it’s something that people often notice about me. My main problem is that I often don’t know what to say or how to say it. I might come off as being too forward, imposing, or just ham fisted. I also have a tendency to overthink everything. This is the whole problem I have when talking to girls, and I have mention Asperger’s again, because it does limit how ‘naturally’ I look at interactions, a girl could be very interested in me and I could be unaware of it or vice versa.

I had problems in the past when I focused far too much on the negatives. Just going out to try to talk to women made me antsy and actually a little angry, it was a while ago, and I’ve had a long cool off. My main problem years were from 23 to 26, I haven’t done much since. In that time, I actually had no problem getting phone numbers, but I rarely used them or pursued them far enough to get a date. The girls would say they’re busy at time and I can’t tell if that’s for real or they’re pulling my leg.

I also had other hang ups. I felt like I couldn’t date a girl until I got a ‘real’ job, and even if I was working part time at small jobs, I just couldn’t talk to a girl. I’m still doing part time, but the pay is decent enough that I actually have some cash to spare for dating, but I’m also back in school and studying/working at the same time. It makes me wonder if I ever will really have the time for it. I do have a ton of other interests as well.

So after writing that 590 word mini-essay to explain my current situation, I’m going to explain what to try to achieve.

1: I haven’t done any of the material, whether it’s David Deangelo, Mystery, or whichever pick up artist is in vogue right now. What do you guys recommend currently? I still have the old material with me
2: I work alone. I have to apologise for people who say to grab a wingman, but unless someone is living in Montreal and willing to assist, it’s not going to happen. I need stuff that’ll work solo
3: No clubs or bars, I can’t do those. My main problem was actually obsessing over the club scene. I don’t like them and I just don’t feel natural or normal. Also I don’t drink in bars, too expensive, and it’s kinda weird to hang out in one and never order a drink. They’re also too loud and since I come alone, cutting into a group is difficult and to be frank, I’ve noticed it’s kinda weird for both parties.
4: While it’s not mandatory, I really would like to date girls aged 18-23. It’s just something I want to do. The big irony is that many of those girls would probably have more experience than me.

What advise do you guys have?

Online & Tinder. Learn to write seductively.

_________________
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

I guess there's not that much to go by

Online is OK, a lot of the girls aren't of the age group I want and probably aren't that attractive, but that might have been ten years ago. Things have probably changed a little then. I haven't done much online chatting either, I'm going to need a place like a social RPG to practice before I do it. Even then I'd rather be in a calm place outside. I actually really didn't like online dating because I'd rather get off line as quickly as possible, I really don't want to waste too much time on any particular girl.

I guess there's no place outside that I can succeed in on my own? That's really sad actually.

Things HAVE changed. Have you looked at Tinder? Specify the age group you're after and you'll only see those girls. So -- you can't use that excuse...

Also - a social RPG to practice before you actually go out and practice? Another excuse. That's ridiculous. Just go out. You'll learn by failing a lot faster than you'll learn by practicing online in a damn RPG.

^Yeah, in my point of view, social proof is just the excuse you need to merge into the crowd and not stand out in the club. When you're hitting on a girl, there's nobody else but you and your own inside confidence.

OP: Take up salsa?

Not much to go by?

Look at all your own excuses not to even try!
This gem is the King of excuses right here! You can succeed at the Gym, Laundromat, On the street, Library.

Like Charles says You want to be good with women? Then be willing to put in the fucking work my friend.


There is a shit ton of Information here - Openers for online - Day game - Clubbing.

You say its to expensive to drink in a club. Order ice water with lemon ya' cheap ass.

Since you have Asperger’s, maybe your good at counting cards? Go to a Casino. Hell go there anyway, they are dripping with lonely bored pussy. Easy pickings.

_________________
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

about 't hear I didn't hear about Tinder. I'm downloading it as I write this.

The problem wasn't that you didn't have an age filter. All sites had them before, it's just that there weren't enough of them.

Edit: now I'm a little worried about my age being an issue if I go after girls in that group. Maybe they won't really care that much, I don't know.

Hey,

There's this little gem I figured out about online dating recently. There is often a shortage of women that meet your specific criteria (e.g. age range, location wise, looks, etc.) ... SO ... you should just get practice in messaging girls from different cities, girls that don't meet your criteria. That way you get good at,

*eliciting reactions (believe me it's fucking hard to even get a response, and I'm 23 and good looking. "Hey how are you" is definitely NOT a good line to use, so DON'T EVEN BOTHER)
*making convo (INTERESTING CONVO, check my journal and thread in online game to get some ideas, because I'm getting pretty sick at this)
*filtering results yourself.

I use OkC currently and in the past I have used PoF, Flirtbox, HotorNot, Eharmony (finding creative ways to negotiate the fact I wasn't a paying member and couldn't even view people's profile pictures!). Anyway I can tell you that so called 'ugly' girls or 'girls that don't meet your criteria' are JUST AS HARD TO GAME ONLINE AS GIRLS THAT YOU ARE INTERESTED IN.

So just get the practice in before you exhaust your supply of potential matches! Trust me, this is the way to do it, don't move in to fast: work on your profile, your profile picture, your convo techniques. It will take time.

Best of luck.

Yeah I figured that it would harder online. Parks sound pretty interesting to go to. My sister met up with someone at a park, and summer is coming, so might as well get started on that.

Anyway, I'll actually try to go to a club tomorrow again (even if I hate them), largely because I finish work late at night and I'm already downtown, so I got nothing to lose.

Just dropping by to give an update.

In the month that I've spent since this, I've had one date with a 27 year old girl. She said it was fun, but was probably being more polite than anything. She did imply she was OK with a second date, but I wasn't. She barely replied to any texts and only called me once in the week after. I wasn't interested, but at least I broke a 6 year non-dating streak with that and it wasn't a disaster, she did seem to enjoy herself. I also got a phone number from another girl, but she was a lesbian, I haven't spoken to her much either, but let's see if I can make friends with her... lesbians tend to know a lot of other girls, and some of them are bound to be straight.

My leg had an injury, but it's healing nicely, I'll be looking into signing up for yoga classes to meet girls face-to-face. I have been doing some 'talking' to girls on the street and in other places, and I'm more comfortable doing it. Now I need to try to up the game just a little bit.

I've also completed David D's Attraction is not a choice, good reminder, but I'll need more material as I practice.