So, I've been reading these books for awhile and want to try to start field testing these skills at the local bars. I know you guys talk about day game- but where I live, I swear I could be out all day without seeing an attractive woman so I really want to go to the bars. Here is my problem- I have no friends to go out with anymore....not because I am a huge dickhead lol, but because I am like a month out of an eight year relationship and 35 years old (look a lot younger). All of my friends either got married themselves, or just don't feel like doing the bar scene anymore. The problem is compounded by the fact that I own a home based business, and thus have no way to really make new friends. I have clients that I friends with, but don't want to have my business customers see me crash and burn hitting on college chicks, lol.

As a result of having nobody to go out with, I sit in my home alone night after night rather than pull the trigger and beginning the process of meeting new ladies.

So here is my question for you veterans- if I go to the bars alone, is that going to make me look like a huge loser? Do any of you guys do this? Is it entirely in my head? I just envision two things- one, the girl asking me, "why are you here by yourself" (accusatory tone), or two, running into someone I know and having to be like "yes, I came to the bar by myself". What are everyone's thoughts?

BTW- apologies if I posted this in the wrong forum section, and thanks in advance for any assistance with this issue that has been burning in my mind, I must admit....

I've been in your shoes in the past, it's just a mental roadblock. Your logical mind is telling you that you need to be with another guy at the bar, because that's the "socially acceptable" thing to do. But once you approach 1000 sets, you'll notice that only a very small percentage of them ask if your friends are there, most will not care and not ask.

One option is to check the lairs section of this forum, and see if any other guys live near you.

Otherwise, use your current lack of friends as practice for sets. Try this:
1. Go to the local bar, and start a conversation with the first person you see. I don't care if it's a bum or an old lady, just say something funny or interesting and make small talk.
2. Immediately talk to the next person you see. Again, it doesn't matter if it's a hot girl, or a russian mobster. Do your best to bring the party and make his/her night a bit more interesting.
3. By the third person, you should have encountered at least one female. Run your game, get her number, kiss close her, or pull her if your good.
4. By the end of the night, you should have chatted up a significant portion of the bar. If you were halfway interesting and had the ability to crack a few jokes, people will remember you when you come back.

It's really just about going out and being a cool ass mother fucking pimp.

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My #1 MONEY line to pull sets: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkHjnZgCP18 (0:25)

Stop being "perfect." It's time to evolve.

Thanks ASmooth, you words have encouraged me and I'm going to take the plunge! I guess I worry almost as much about running into people I know, such as friends of my ex-wife, and them interrogating me about being at the bar by myself. But I guess if that happens I could just say I'm meeting my friend who is running late, and then leave for another bar.

Use the forum or other forums like this to find wings.
Use meetup.com to find events to meet friends
Join some activities

Why are you worried? Running into people you know is a good thing, it'll be easier to start a conversation.

Here's another angle: tell them that your out to meet ladies. Show them that you've recovered from the divorce and you're not hung up on her anymore.

Put yourself in the mindset of a PIMP who doesn't give a crap about what people think. Success will follow

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My #1 MONEY line to pull sets: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkHjnZgCP18 (0:25)

Stop being "perfect." It's time to evolve.

Thank you all for the sound advice and encouragement. I guess I always had this idea in my head that it was weird to go to the bar alone- i.e. like putting a big neon sign above my head that said "lack of social proof" lol. I talked to my one buddy who SHOULD be my wingman but always bails (extreme workaholic) and he said that he actually goes out to the bar by himself all the time so I guess it isn't that weird after all. So between that and the encouragement on here I decided to go for it.

So just a follow up.... I went out last night by myself and had an ABSOLUTE BLAST. The funny thing is that I had way more fun than I would have had if I'd gone with a buddy....we probably just would have talked to each other all night and mingled very little, but instead, I posted up at the bar and interacted with all sorts of really run people, honestly it was one of the most fun nights I've had in many years (yes, clearly I need to get out more lol). Ok- I did not execute a dozen approaches, but you gotta walk before you run and I did chat up a few ladies when the situation presented itself and found the techniques I've been reading about very effective. Basically, I made friends with the guys and therefore the ladies that were with them became interested in talking to me. I didn't really escalate from there, but broke out of my shell of isolationism and had a great time, so I considered it a major success for my first night on my own after nearly a decade.

Thanks again for the words of encouragement!

As you get older, it sort of is mandatory as friends get married, get busy with career, life, and a variety of other things such as family life or children. There is rsd free tour events, innercircle or other people you can meet on forums. In my experience though, many people talk online but do not go out or want to talk theory. I would suggest just making convo when going out, chat up lots of people, and pull. I have made wings through work, through gaming, through free tour or inner circle.

When it comes to going out solo, you need to act fast or you spend your night in spectator mode. Act fast, talk to everyone, watch inspiring videos like rsdmotivation channel vids. Checkout a variety of resources that inspire you that have no correlations with pickup. Also, reflect back on self love; things you love in yourself. Take that insight out with you. I saw a Rsd motivation video where, Tyler speaks about seeing yourself as a hero. Its a good outlook to have when out solo. See yourself as a star. Tell me how it comes going forward.

Some great advice here, but I'd like to add something if I may. You worry about girls asking why you're out alone. Maybe tell the truth. From reading your post I could gather that you're still a youngish guy. You have friends that sound normal and in healthy relationships, and most importantly you own your own business! Plus you used the word "clients", so that removes any preconceptions about a guy sitting at home alone on his computer all day. So use all that to your advantage. And saying you're out to meet new people and being confident and unashamed about that is a good thing.

If you're still unsure, maybe start by saying this to a group of guys. Chances are they'll want to help you out. Then you'll have a base as it were all night. If a girl asks who you're with, you can say "those guys". The girls not gonna interrogate these guys to find out u met them that night.

Good luck out there mate. We're all rooting for you!

Some great advice here, but I'd like to add something if I may. You worry about girls asking why you're out alone. Maybe tell the truth. From reading your post I could gather that you're still a youngish guy. You have friends that sound normal and in healthy relationships, and most importantly you own your own business! Plus you used the word "clients", so that removes any preconceptions about a guy sitting at home alone on his computer all day. So use all that to your advantage. And saying you're out to meet new people and being confident and unashamed about that is a good thing.

If you're still unsure, maybe start by saying this to a group of guys. Chances are they'll want to help you out. Then you'll have a base as it were all night. If a girl asks who you're with, you can say "those guys". The girls not gonna interrogate these guys to find out u met them that night.

Good luck out there mate. We're all rooting for you!

Yeah dude social proof is overrated. You can get a bit of it by making friends with people in the venue, as I and others have suggested. But when you're chatting up a hot lady, it should just be you and her. Man to woman. No external forces should enter the equation.

The exception here is her friends. You should handle them by being friendly and cool, but don't game her friends, even if they're hot. Make your intent clear, you want the girl that you approached.

This rule can be broken once you're advanced and you know how to leverage sets.

_________________
My #1 MONEY line to pull sets: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkHjnZgCP18 (0:25)

Stop being "perfect." It's time to evolve.

I would do this all the time. Not just because I didn't have anyone to go with that particular night, but more so because I prefer going out alone at times. Theres no strings, and you're more free to wander as you please.

Often times you'll meet women who also came by themselves and they're usually game for anything. Its not often they head out alone that they get approached by someone decent.

I've personally only had someone ask me who I came out with a few times. And when I said myself there more so an heir of admiration than there was anything else. Most women admire men and general and most people will admire the confidence it takes to head out to a club all by yourself and go hitting on women without friends as a safety net. I wrote an article called " The Players Guide To Going Out Alone" that gets into a bit more detail so I'd suggest you check that out as well.

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Hey! I can actually help you with this, and its from experience.

So I used to have the same thought..."how on earth can I go to some bar alone and just randomly talk to people". The image of a mostly empty bar with me there by myself seemed very unrealistic.

So I tried looking on the PUA forums for folks to go with.

Long story short, some of the guys that showed up were weird, some were totally cool. Some were so anti-social or just made it IMPOSSIBLE for me to maintain a positive energy level, I literally had to ditch them.

What I did totally forget about, was the need to go with someone else. The reason you are thinking that is because you haven't done it yet, so its seems odd.

But the reality is, the WHOLE POINT of going out is to be social. The instant you walk into that bar (or even on the sidewalk), you are NOT ALONE. There are people everywhere. If you find yourself being anti-social in that setting, thats what you need to work on, not the part about being alone.

Another way to put it is this:

Lets say you and your buddy walk into the bar, and start talking it up with people. You may find that simply because of physical logistics and timing, that your buddy was out of sight across the room when you first started chatting with some girl/new friend. Suddenly the logic falls into place and the equation solves itself:

Your buddy is actually no different than anyone else in the bar, and creates no special advantage or leverage. The new girl/person you are talking to may actually be even more interesting to interact with than your buddy. Your buddy is now irrelevant. In fact, incorporating your buddy into whatever you are doing may actually be undesirable or have a negative effect. Now your buddy is a liability.

Im not saying you're superior to your friend, I just mean, that from the perspective of the goal here, having someone else around may not have the effect you think it does, which is to provide some kind of social cushion or recognition.

You will see plenty of guys go by themselves and be laughing it up with hot girls.

Its also important to find a place to go that has a high quality social vibe and lots of people.

In my experience, having your friend there can be fascinating and definitely fun to talk to about whats going on, but it doesn't really help with what you are trying to achieve.

And, there will be other guys there by themselves, thinking the same thing. You can make instant friends with them very easily. So if you end up wanting to have a wingman, just pick one off the tree. No need to worry about it beforehand.

Some of the best wings I have met were not from pickup or say a lair and or inner circle. It was through pickup, getting girls, and meeting someone along the way. Some guys who are naturally good with women make for better wings. Less pua theory and actually, more getting girls, and friendships are made. Getting out of relationship and just getting older makes it challenging but, there is always an excuse for not going out. I am glad you will do it even if solo. Whatever it takes.

I'll be really honest... after a while, you'll prefer going out on your own or with other guys who really know whats going on in a girls head. You don't necessarily need friends who are crazy cold approaching girls... just normal guys that a girl isn't going to be weirded out by when you introduce her to them. You'll meet these guys by going out...

Now... Your other alternative is to to meet up with some other desperate guy who has no friends on a pick up forum and the two of you can go out and be lame together. Nobody will want to talk to either of you. One of you will eventually figure things out and actually make cool friends... The other will go back to sitting at home alone all the time.

Here's the idea behind it man... You're a product of your environment. None of your friends want to go out and meet girls..? NO SHIT you don't! Why would you? Where is your influence? You don't need "advice." You need influence. You need cool friends who are out meeting girls.

Where are you gonna find them? Hmmm... a bar might be a good start. And how are you going to be friend them? Have a similar lifestyle! Or atleast pretend like you do at first....

You are like an ATF agent infiltrating a biker gang. You wanna fit in, you gotta ride a bike.

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RSDTyler