ME 40, with a small kid, her 35 with a small kid. So I was seeing this girl a couple times, we went to my place oral was great, next time she comes over it's sex with a condom and oral. but she kinda leaves really quickly, was a little sparce about texting me so I blew her off. Then she says she wants to talk to me. Says she's incredibly attracted to me and sex is great but it was too much too fast, and she wants to back off the physical but still see each other. She says I'm a nice guy and she usually goes for bad guys but she wants to give me "a nice guy" a chance. WTF?? when did I become the nice guy? LOL all my exes think I'm satan haha.

Anyway, I'm not looking to get serious and I don't want to play boyfriend girlfriend with this girl either like we're 12, we haven't been alone since her revelation or spiritual experience, whatever she had, I'm debating just blowing her off, or escalating would love to end up just being an F buddy for this girl but I think she sees me more as the BF potential type, not what I want. I've been increasing our text to be more sexual recently and she's telling me I have to behave, not really sure what to say at this point...

Sounds like she either feels like a slut, and you need to just ignore what she said and escalate physically and lead and all that. Or, she actually really likes you, sees you as a long-term thing, and is testing/treating you that way. I would say, think about what you really want from her, and continue treating her the way you did to get her into bed. If she puts out, great, keep doing what works. If she's holding up to the no touching thing, just tell her exactly what you want and how you feel. If she doesn't agree, move on to the next one.

^ This mentality is the very reason why she sees you as a nice guy. Its clear. Whether you try to or not, because of your mentality which influences you will always sub communicate your mentality to the woman in front of you. Thats what separates the badboy from the nice guy who are all performing the same actions. Its in the way he SEES the situation.

A real bad boy, isn't trying to lock down a 35 year old chick with a kid. Not if he's 40.. He can do better than that. A 30 year old without a kid maybe. But he can do better than 35 with a kid. I understand you guys have similarities. Your kid can play with hers, you guys are around the same age, live similar lives etc. But that doesn't change your frame.. It only weakens it, if you like "Chemistry" solely determine how you feel about the woman in front of you.

Women communicate in hints, they are listening to the emotion in our words, not exactly the words. Which is why if you yell at a woman she will never listen to you. Even if your WORDS are completely correct. So you can say " I hate you" in a sweet loving way and she will hear " i love you" if thats what the emotion behind it was.

I'd give her a weeks worth of space with no contact ( even if she contacts you), as you meditate on what I said above and get your mind right. Once you adjust your mentality, she will adjust her feelings toward you, because the emotions you sub communicate with reflect that new mentality. Theres no faking it, you have to actually get it done.

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