Handling Warm Approaches by Qualifying After Opening



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PostPosted: Mon Apr 06, 2015 10:36 pm 
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Sorry in advance for this somewhat lengthy post but hopefully this is useful.

So you've been thrown a few IOIs from a girl. To game or not to game? That is the question.

You still need game the girl. Courtship is an ongoing process. Part of game is seeing that this process is followed through often times systematically. Then it repeat again. You go back to attraction simply by giving the woman space to process her emotions after a day 2/date. I like to wait at least 5 days. This gives her the opportunity to reach out to you by calling or texting you. When that happens you can just make additional plans with her. Once you've done a fclose a few times then you are in a position to run a little less game but why would you stop doing the things that got the girl to like you in the first place. What men fail to realize about warm approaches is that you still need to qualify the girl and build rapport. Yes, she is already attracted to you. Well, most likely (being that they are authentic IOIs and the woman is single). Don't confuse lust with emotional investment (aka attraction). First comes lust then investment. If you are worthy she will develop an addiction (love) then that eventually settles into an entirely different set of brain circuits that psychologists call attachment.

Just because you have IOIs, which is more of an indication of lust unless she is already heavily investing energy and emotions in you, then you still need to qualify her. Qualification is one of those things that is overlooked. I have heard dating coaches teach that if a woman is qualifying herself to you that you need to make a statement of intent to validate her immediately then move on to rapport. What this does is skip a very important process in which you train her to act in a favorable way and be compliant to your requests and commands. If you want to pull her for example, you need compliance so that she will allow herself to become separated from her friends and leave with you. If she isn't jumping through small hoops she is much less likely to jump through the largest hoop of leaving to have sex with a complete stranger. So operant conditioning (punishment and INTERMITTENT reward... emphasis on intermittent) is the key to gaining compliance which is virtually also gaining investment (don't confuse the two).

Qualification solidifies the attraction. This is when 'Cat String' theory comes into play. She needs to know that she worked for you. People value what they had to work for. Her heavy level of investment will cause her to value you more. You start with small hoops then work up to larger ones. I like to finalize qualification with the 'fear of loss' in which I use a false takeaway on the release to gain a quick attraction spike. This is not done playfully but rather authentically. She needs to know that you are willing to walk away (subcommunicates preselection) and that she has to chase you. If she reaches out to you in any way with her hands or even turns to face you then you have achieved her chasing you on a micro-level.

Remember that women want a guy that is a challenge so it is necessary to be just that. But more importantly the woman must be framed as the 'aggressor' meaning that she must chase you. This is what many men (even PUAs) fail to realize. That the woman is the aggressor. This is her gender role. Women do the choosing so let her. Even if she psychologically thinks that men should be the aggressor she;s biologically wired to subconsciously respond to men of higher value. If you are chasing her then you are lower value. The catch to all of this is that you must communicate that you are higher value. Qualification is a high value pattern if done right. Inner game plays a role in this as you need to legitimately be willing to walk away if she fucks with you and pushes you too far with her shit tests. I like to cross my arms and lean back in order to make her feel pressured. This is done in junction with a breaking rapport vocal tone. You want to communicate that you 'yes' you did approach and that she caught your attention but that she still needs to work for your interest. The reason being that you want to solidify the attraction, test her IOIs for congruence, while also gaining compliance, investment, and buying temperature.

I want to add that she can still shit test you. Watch out for breaks in compliance other tests. If you are framing yourself as the 'prize that she has to work for' (and thus making her the aggressor) then you will either get a lot of submissive behavior as she genuinely views herself as being lower value than you or you will get shit tests as she attempts to protect her frame. Either way she must be presented with a high value, strong, masculine presence in order to take her natural female role as the 'aggressor'. To put this simply, women are not likely going to chase the beta chode. You've got to be an alpha wolf. Me and my wing do BAD BOY FRAMING. This is the guy she will be more likely to chase. Once the frame is set the girl will view you as a bad boy... high value, indefinable (difficult to read), confident, mysterious, dominant, and very manly. Her desire to chase you is important because it creates sexual chemistry, causes her to be more submissive, and raises the fuck out of your value. If she is chasing you she isn't blowing you out or dumping you. She is trying to when you over. Ask yourself this: "Do you want to be the guy chasing girls and begging for dates or the guy that is chased by beautiful women?" The guy being chased is the one of higher value.

Understand that chasing doesn't necessarily mean that she is asking you out on dates or initiating sex. That is the ultimate goal as it implies a really high interest. Women with lower interest levels won't do this and even some with high attraction won't do this because they still FEEL that it is your job. Besides women need a shot of testosterone to become sexually aggressive. This will only happen is she is allowed to chase or in other words is framed as the aggressor and baited into chasing. On a micro-level (as I talked about earlier) the woman could simply just be reaching her hand out to you or sending you a flirty text out of the blue. This is all forms of the woman making a move. In qualification, getting her to chase means invoking the fear of loss and gaining investment. Her willingness to heavily invest and share intimate details with a complete stranger is not only a form of micro-chasing but also an indicator of high interest level (buying temperature in PUA terms).

The reason why I invoke the 'fear of loss' is because a lot of times women are not that aware of how interested they are in you since attraction is subconscious. This emotion is so strong (along with jealously) that is makes her consciously aware of her attraction to you. She may know that she finds you physically attractive (lust) but not that she is emotionally drawn to you. She will backwards rationalize, "The reason I don't want to lose this guy must be because I really really like him. I need to work a little harder for him." When women become fearful of losing you they become the aggressor. They are in a position in which they now feel vulnerable to being hurt by you but can't go through the hurt that they will feel when they lose you. The oxytocin drops and the adrenaline rises causing her to feel anxious and fearful. Some women who are deeply invested (lets say a 'wife' or 'long term girlfriend') may even feel deep emotional pain. However, in a pickup a woman will likely just learn that she is really into you so she will do a really good job of communicating this to you. Here's the thing about the 'fear of loss' emotion... the very act of invoking it and being able to invoke it raises her buying temperature. She gets emotional. It greatly spikes attraction if done right. It never fails me when I deliver this dynamic correctly. It is a quick and simple attraction spike from the girl. Often times the girl escalating things herself but don't let the woman take the lead you still have to control the interaction so that everything is properly calibrated. You can use a false takeaway in the beginning of the interaction. I follow Mystery's BHRR technique (a form of qualification push-pull) to intermittently reward the girl's compliance and calibrate any IOI I give with an IOD usually a false takeaway. It's the best and it always gives a spark in attraction.

When you do the false takeaway you are looking to see if she is chasing you with her body language in some way. If she isn't then don't panic she will be more invested in you if you do it right. She must have some kind of emotional reaction to it. If she isn't chasing or reacting then you don't have enough attraction to invoke the fear of loss. You can just throw a false time constraint and a justification for the false takeaway such as "I've got to go find my friends but really quick [FTC], you remind me of my ex so much [justification]. It's kind of creepy [neg]. It sucks because you are really cute [calibrate the neg with an IOI so you don't seem like a dick (attraction push-pull)]. This sets up the reframe in case you have to jump back into attraction (yes you can always take a step back in order to move things forward). The reframe allows you to subtly begin to disqualify yourself then you can begin challenging her maybe by using a few negs as you transition back into attraction. However, if she is jumping through your hoops and thus being compliant you would be punishing her by stepping back into attraction so reward her with qualifying statements, IOIs (remember they are intermittent and calibrated with an IOD so that you don't look too easy or needy), and a little bit of escalation (pull kino such as hugs, playful touches, etc. all calibrated with push kino such as arm pushes, etc.).

So you've got her to invest, achieved positive compliance momentum, invoked the 'fear of loss' which makes her chase, and you've solidified the attraction because she feels that she has worked for you. Now you can reinforce 'togetherness' by fully extracting her from the set. Then build more rapport by qualifying her and escalating until you close.


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PostPosted: Sat May 02, 2015 5:07 am 
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Thanks for posting this, I enjoyed reading it! Good thoughts.


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 15, 2015 12:59 pm 
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Nice post on Mystery's A3 stage. I have got his book and also read Neils book 'The Game'.

Personally speaking, it isnt bad to use push-pull. Make her chase you. But I think it needs to be done in a more subtle way than Mystery describes..
He has his complicated IOI and IOD and compliance tests models.. I think a beginner should first understand the idea behind it. So I am going to describe a bit why you need this stage.

In the book, in the last A3 chapter Mysery outlines your and her value via some bar graphs..and it seems that the aim of this stage is to lift your value to be the same as hers using of some of the techniques that you described.

In addition to that, at stage of A1 and A2, you reduced your value by being the entertaining monkey. However, if your material is successful, you may gain even more value at those two attraction phases.
If we quantify that attraction value into attraction 'money'. Then, it would be better to spend it to make the girl chase you by operant conditioning for example. Girls dont know what they want when they meet guys..so it may be wise to make her jump through your loops to solidify her mind that she wants you! and prevent situations of getting cold feet later.

Again, this is the most weird stage in his book. He doesnt explain when he jumps to it and when he jumps out of it into c1. And what happens if A3 fails? do you go back to A2, is it worth it? or is it better to go to C1 nonethess?
It would be better for a beginner to understand the idea behind it and apply it more subtly..


I remember seeing Mystery with his students at VH1.. the way the 2 finalists insulted those strippers.. that
was a bit overdone ...lolz


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