An older girl that is 5 year older than me (she is on her early 30's) put me on friendzone.

I've met her in a training course/project provided by the company where we work (we are employees in different departments/areas), but we are spending much time together over the last 2 months (99% of the time we are together we talk about the project). The project ends next week and I need a strategy to continue seeing her after this, because she will work for other company soon (20 miles away), but I want to be her friend in order to meet her girl friends (I saw some pics in her laptop and she has beautiful girl friends)

I've tried to get her being funny, trying some hair contact, inviting her to get a drink (rejected).. but she told me already several times in a smooth way that she likes older men (40+), I'm too young for her and so on.

I wanna continue seeing her again after this. I can't get her but I want to be her friend so she can introduce me to her younger sister, girl friends etc. So what should it be my strategy until the project finishes and she leaves the company (risk of not seeing her again)?


1 - Should I be a really nice guy (I'm friendzoned already mostly because of age issues and physical appearance..not enough muscles for her) so she could se me as a "bro" and introduce me to her friends.

2 - Start hitting on her (again). Try to make jokes about her hair, clothes whatever to be funny so she could think that I'm too young for her but I may be fine for her younger girl friends.


What do you think should be the right strategy? I have 1 week left, then she leaves and maybe don't see her again and her potential girl friends ever..

I like your attitude re: turning her into a pivot. When you can recognize that all isn't lost just because a girl doesn't like you in that way, you're already ahead of the game.

A couple of items:
1. Girls don't want to go out with a type. They say they do, but it's not about the big muscly older men. They like going out with men who make them feel a certain way (ie. like a little girly girl). If you want to pursue this woman, you need to adjust your strategy. Be fun, but you might need to re-think the way you're being playful, and teasing. You'll also need to have her come after you at some point. Careful not to confuse politeness with reciprocity.

2. I think you have to be OK with the odds not being in your favor. If you're getting IOIs, even if they're not romantic, invite her our to your party or some other group situation. Hell, tell her you want to set her up with your friend's single, muscle-bound dad. Make it abundantly clear it's not a romantic thing. Start sending her some not-so-subtle signals that she's not your type either. Own it, and then have fun.

Let me know how it goes!

+1

I'll send this guy here.

A girl can only friend zone you if you accept defeat and succumb to her decision. Your willingness to succumb is also a strong sign of what the friend zone was employed in the first place. She's leading you.. and your'e allowing it. I'm not sure 1 week is enough to psych yourself out of your emotional position.. especially not when you have to see her everyday.

Like the above poster said, its not about the physical superficial details, its about how you make her feel. If more men understood this they would be pulling a lot more women who are physically out of their league.

If I were you I would just ask her if she could hook you up with friends. You have to mean it though; and it actually may make her find you a bit more attractive than before. Since you are getting stuck on the idea of getting with her.

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How do you callibrate what a woman wants to feel and act acordingly?

For exemple, a girl I met some time ago said she is attracted to immature guys. She said something like "I don't know why but it's the kind of man who attracts me. Shame they are all cheaters. Funny to be around but totally unreliable"

How would you act with this chick?

I'm myself with everyone bro. I don't go switching up my personality and behavior just so I can potentially score with a chick in front of me. And the thing is, when you're comfortable with who you are the women will naturally begin to calibrate themselves according to your personality. She likes those immature guys because they made her like them.. You can make her like you aswell, without having to be someone you're not. Its about being unapologetic for who you are.

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Thank you but I am a bit confused.

If you don't change anything at all you are basically expecting girls to like you for who you are, which means naturals still get all the good ones and average guys are left with the scraps, which would make all this "learning PUA" thing an exercise in futility.

I see where you're going, I can't (and shouldn't) compromise who I am just to fit someone else. But there is something you have to change to improve your success...

I find that the naturals are just unapologetically who they are. If I was insecure about the fact that I chase women up and down the street, or about the fact that I have slept with many women in the past no woman would want to date me. The fact that I can confidently look a woman in the eyes and say " This is who I am, this is what I do. Now what? " I don't hide anything. My name on these forums is my name in real life. Average joes, are constantly hiding who they are to impress the people around them. Everyone ain't smart, and everyone ain't funny... But dumb guys get laid and cheesy guys get laid. Sober guys get laid, and coke heads get laid. Skinny guys get laid, and fat guys get laid.

The only thing that really needs to switch is perspective. And guard your boundaries. People in life judge your self esteem by how easily it is for them to cross your boundaries. Women will try and so will men - its human nature. If you have land, and you say nothing when I take some, I'll take more. And if you let me take all of your land, you've become worthless.

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