The style/culture in the city where I live (In the Bay Area) is very hip hop influenced and 85% Asian (mostly Filipino, the rest being Chinese/Korean), 10% Latino, and 5% white. Of course there's other races but these are the main ones (I'm throwing race in there because in my area the races tend to date/hookup within their own). Most of my child/teenhood, I switched between being an off hip-hop wannabe with really crappy outfits (I'm Hispanic and poor) and being a "rocker" type of guy, wearing all black and having long, disgusting, wavy frizzy hair (it was terrible) and skating.

My music taste is actually 50% really ghetto and 50% rock/indie, I only listen to the ghetto stuff in a joking kind-of-way, I get into it but in a "haha it's so funny that me out of all people are bumping this in their car" way. So I guess you could say i'm more of a rock type of guy, in middle school people would always call me "white washed" because I wasn't really into the hip hop culture as much as I am today which really pissed me off because all of the Asian kids would be emulating black culture as if it was their own... I'm bringing up musical tastes because the types of girls I want to be around/socialize with almost always hangout with a certain type of guy who has certain tastes (clothes and music wise). I almost NEVER see them go out with guys that have other styles.

I'm also 5'3" and I used to obsess that THAT was the main reason I couldn't get with the really hot girls but recently I've stopped thinking about that because I notice guys who are the same height as me, if not shorter, who have hot girlfriends...sometimes even taller than them. I'm talking music video hot. I've yet to see a Hispanic guy going out with an Asian girl in my school yet but i'm not gonna let that stop my endeavor. (Again, I bring up race because the trends are VERY apparent in my city).

Flash forward to me at 20 years old today, I have a job and don't have to pay rent (mostly everyone at the community college I go to lives at home, too) so I have all sorts of shoes, hats, and clothes that the guys in that social group wear. Doing this has gotten me a couple (VERY little) of hello's and some smiles from the types of girls I like. I'm not sure if they're thinking "Oh wow he wants to be like those type of guys" or if they actually think i'm cute. It's probably the latter i'm just being extra self conscious and insecure as always (Which only aids in my turning them off).

I'd really like to be with/date/hook up/ even just hang out with one of the really social Asian girls that always get invited to parties and follow the fashion trends. Don't get me wrong some of the Hispanic ones are 10's to me but after growing up in a town with the majority of the people being Filipino, that's kind of what i'm attracted to. At this point though, i'm not even going to be picky with the race as long as I can get with better looking women.

The kind of girls i've gotten aren't like 2's and 3's but they're definitely not what i'm interested in. I usually cling on to the emotional attachment I get to them because of their companionship and caring but there's hardly ever and physical attraction besides their face (I tend to get heavier girls). Whenever I walk around the mall with my dates I see so many girls with flat stomachs and thin bodies showing them off with crop tops and short shorts and I get so mad that i'm never the guy that has that type of girl because my own insecurities are holding me back. They make me feel like i'm a nerd with long frizzy hair and shitty looking clothes all over again. I get so mad that I have to see them but I've NEVER gotten one. When I go on dating websites they always just read my messages and never reply, they visit my profile and that's it... I feel like they're part of this secret club that they all know about but me and I just have to see them and their flawless bodies in front of me until I die. .

How can I feel just as confident with hot/sexy girls as I am with plain/whatever girls. I feel like i'm going crazy.

Good job there that you have listed your positives and negatives.

Your next step is to focus on your positives and filter out any and all types of thinking about your negatives.

Next, study your target demographics some more and even if you don't get laid for awhile, stop hanging out with heavier girls. You don't want to be stereotyped with this demographic segment.

Start befriending 3 to 5 girls within your demographic ideal. Yep. Friendzone them. Get really close and learn from these girls by observation.

Next, build up your testosterone naturally. Do some plyometrics, high intensity interval training and raise both of your arms up in a V form for 10 minutes a day. That V form arms up exercise alone will shoot up your testosterone levels by 20%.

Knowledge is power. The more you know about your target demographics, the more confident you'll feel. That confident vibe will improve your game a lot.

Males with high testosterone naturally attract women. You'll know that your testosterone level is high enough when the girls in your friendzone begin touching you more and your hard ons are more resilient.

In short:

1. Workout.

2. Study your target demographics some more by interacting with them on the regular.

3. Calibrate and adapt every time you learn something infield.

_________________
Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

That's good and all, but I can't "interact with them on the regular" if I don't even feel "up there" enough to talk to them. I know it sounds ridiculous and I should feel like women are a dime a dozen and all of that. But whenever I find a female attractive I always think "she could probably be with a lot of different guys so why would she choose ME to have anything to do with?". I can get my self pretty hyped up and confident when i'm alone but in person when I see a really attractive female I always start to feel like i'm in high school all over again and the idea of talking to them is ridiculous even though i've changed my appearance drastically.

Just FUCKING do it.

1. Approach a set where one or two of your demographic ideal belong/s.

2. Befriend the entire set.

3. Repeat and rinse for the next four sets.

4. Maintain the friendship. Observe. Learn. Get used to being around hot girls.

You'll make many mistakes. That's fucking normal. But until you make those mistakes, you'll never be comfortable around hot women.

Immerse.

Desensitize.

Problem solved.

_________________
Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

I second everything that was said by hellhound,

And let me also include that its all about your current condition and the mental repetition that you used to fight it and get to where you want to be. Along with a understanding that it will take time dedication and consistent effort to get to where you want to be.

Just as a guy could be physically out of shape and want to obtain a nice body he would have to physically exercise for 6 months to get to his ideal physical shape. And it could be longer than 6 months depending on how out of shape he actually is. If the guy is 1,000 pounds, it'd take him a few years of consistency to get to where he wants to be. So you have to come to terms with you emotional shape. Are you 1,000 pounds emotionally out of shape? Or maybe just 350? Thats how much time and effort you must introduce to get to your desired emotional shape.

The more effort you put in, the more you get out. Repeating to yourself " I'm great, I'm attractive and women love me" 10,000x is cool, but it doesn't take half as much effort as the guy who is is physically writing those things down on a piece of paper 10,000x.

How bad do you want this? And how much effort are you willing to put in?

Your thoughts become your words, your words become your actions, your actions become your habits, your habits become your character, and your character becomes your destiny. So as a man thinketh he shall be.

Saying it to your self is in the thoughts, speaking it out loud is in the words, writing it down is an action. The further along that line you get the closer you will get to your destiny.

There is also a podcast I recently put up on my site attacking this same issue. I'd give that a listen for further confirmation.

Much love.

_________________
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