I need some advice and motivation guys. I haven't done actual pick up in a while now (in graduate school. Too time consuming). Had some good look online with Tinder before, but I now feel like I lost everything. I had a girl over tonight who told me she was into casual sex, she just needed to feel me out more. Long story short, I forgot how to flirt and build tension. I dropped her back off and she gave me that "you didn't take advantage" goodbye. There are women I meet whom I like, and I just can't remember the things to say, the things to do, etc. I'm feeling more desperate for female companionship/sex the longer I go without any. Phone has been dry, I'm constantly checking Instagram and tinder for messages, but with no replies or messages. Ugh. I'm back to where I was from jump start. I just wanted to know if you guys had any advice or tips or motivation to help get me to restart. I'm at Thst beginners hurdle right now :/.

Go out and start approaching more sets. If you haven't gone to the gym for a while, you can't just start busting out the max weight you used to do. You need to slowly build it back up, nothing wrong with that. Once you start going out, practicing and making it habit, it starts getting easier and more fun. Get comfortable opening, then focus on transitioning, then break rapport, qualify, escalation, etc.

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Picking up is like riding a bicycle bro. You learn it once and then never forget, but sometimes you do get rusty by lack of practice (no time or no opportunities). I have been there sometimes, for various reasons. But your PUA skills are still there. There are just hidden deep inside in your brain…

So take that old rusty bike and bring it back into action. The first girl you will meet after that pause in your PUA life will be like WD40 (it is not a very nice metaphor but I could not come up with anything better ). The rest will follow…

The one you just let escape is the best reason and a good motivation to do better next time! And you know where you failed, which is very good! Don’t give up and keep sarging until you get back on track! It may take a bit of time but that is totally normal. Rome was not (re)built in one day!

Also, and even though I believe it is possible (and ideal) to have a well-balanced life, studying, exercising and picking up girls at the same time, there are periods when you can hardly do both. The few months preceding my PhD graduation were not my best picking-up period either (fortunately I had a steady girlfriend at that time)… Just because at that time my PhD was my main concern and it was not very appealing to girls. Sometimes one has to prioritise things…

My 2 cents!

Man I really appreciate you two. I'm been going to the gym almost constantly, so no worries there. But I'm not approaching anymore . That's the main issue

Good day brother.

The problem is your neediness, and that will not be solved by approaching more and more women. What happens when they run out? Back to neediness. And by the tone of your post, this isn't the first time this has happened either.

You need a life, a passion, a drive and a goal.

Do you want a quick fix? Go out and talk to 100 women. Do you want a permanent fix? A deep, spiritual level transformation, then ask here and I'll write out a long answer for you. I won't waste anybody's time if you aren't interested in something tangible and real.

With respect
Mack

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Geez. That's so real I almost don't even know what to say. You're probably right. I put too much emphasis on having a woman in my life, I've become desperate for it, even though I'm even in graduate school. I lost focus and need to gain it back. Any advice on that?

Look, most of the guys on this site (and in the entire community) have no fucking clue what they're doing. Not to bring anyone down but the fact is this community has like a 99% failure rate. VERY FEW people actually get any good at this. Why? I can talk for hours about this but its beside the point.

Wanna get better with women? Get better with your life. Wanna live a better life? Find yourself. How do you find yourself? That's the journey my friend. Everything else is secondary.

Build a life you can be proud of. Find your passions, discover your talents and really get absorbed in what you love. After that, simply invite others to be a part of the adventure. Its deceptively simple and yet no one wants to do that. Why? Because it requires relinquishing control, and that's something most men have a problem with.

The instinct is to say "prove it first, and then I'll give all this up". But the universe doesnt work that way. It isnt stupid and knows you wont appreciate shit unless you commit to it, so its answer is "No. Give it all away first - stop trying, stop chasing, stop clinging to yourself, just let go... And then we'll see."

The trick is to close your eyes and just fucking let go already. See what happens.

Mack

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