I talk too long, then i just dont do anything



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PostPosted: Tue Mar 17, 2015 4:42 pm 
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Joined: Mon Dec 24, 2012 2:25 pm
Posts: 45
I seem to be running into a problem where I just talk on and on but never escalate. What ends up happening is I quit talking, and/or move to another spot at the bar, and just forget about the girl i was speaking to. Then later I see some other guy making out with her. It doesn't bother me at all, that's not the last girl i will ever speak with again. I possibly don't feel comfortable making a kino move because their friend is right there, and also bc i'm not intoxicated enough. If the girl and I are just talking back and forth im having a good time, im having fun. So hooking up doesn't enter my mind.


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 17, 2015 6:59 pm 
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Joined: Tue Jul 05, 2011 9:24 pm
Posts: 158
Location: Portugal
Hey man!

This seems to be a really common problem. I have struggled with this in the past and even now it's somewhat hard to avoid it.

Let's look at it from an outside perspective:

You say hello and shit. She sees you're not another creep and actually engages in a conversation with you. You start talking about something that seems interesting to you. You go on and on. She says she's gotta go somewhere or some shit like that.

So, what was missing?

You got carried away.

See, it's perfectly acceptable to have genuine, heartfelt conversations. Just, you know, not with a girl whom you've just met... and especially not with a girl whose panties you're trying to take off.

The solution lies in doubling your effort: you'll still be talking to her, but at the same time you'll be reading her body language, asserting yourself through kino, etc. Be in the moment.
Quote:
I possibly don't feel comfortable making a kino move because their friend is right there
Nope, that's not a valid excuse. The reason why forums like this exist is because we were taught not only by our parents but also by society that it's not ok to express your interest in a woman in public. Seriously, how fucked up is mankind? :lol:
Quote:
and also bc i'm not intoxicated enough
Just no. I'm not even going to go on about how stupid and depressing this belief is. Drinking is cool as long as you're not using it on purpose to do that kind of stuff. Gaming while drunk is a sure way to have your efforts backfire.
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If the girl and I are just talking back and forth im having a good time, im having fun. So hooking up doesn't enter my mind.
RIGHT THERE. You might be having fun, but be sure as hell she isn't having as much as she should. The best advice I can give you is talk less, listen more. You'll learn more about her while having more time to focus on what's important (body cues).

But most of all, don't stress out. Right now you have some limiting beliefs that need to be shattered and thrown out. First work on yourself, then go up to girls so they can see your new "true-self".

Cheers!

_________________
"What we're doing is so wrong, and what you're wearing is so right (it's so tight!). But I've never felt better, so I'm going out to get her and I don't care what set of wheels I steal to get there."


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 18, 2015 7:30 pm 
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Joined: Mon Dec 24, 2012 2:25 pm
Posts: 45
great advice thx man i'll let you know how it goes


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