Hello everyone!

Lately i've been trying out online-dating. I wanted to expand my horizon, and it's a fun little side activity.
I've come in contact with this girl from there, who kept rating my pictures 10/10, mentioned me in the forum about me "looking really sweet". She never actually wrote to me, so I thought fuck it - Im gonna strike up a convo.

I made a great opening and after 4-5 messages asked her out. She lives an hour from me. She was interested, but mentioned that she wanted to know me a better before she agreed to meet me. Understandable, as I wouldnt want to meet a relatively complete stranger as well, so soon.

So we wrote for about a months time. Nothing I really put a lot of thought in. I have my game outside this online world as well. It went from a innoncent tone to asking sexual question. I asked her and she asked me stuff like if i liked to have sex in the shower or kitchen etc..

Well yesterday I thought it was time to see this girl IRL. I asked for her facebook, and she accepted me as a friend on FB the second i sent the request

We wrote for about an hour, around bedtime, where I made her laugh by just being C&F. Before I ended the conversation where I said that tomorrow (which is today) I would come up with a day for when she could come and visit me for a walk and coffee-on-the-go.

She agreed. All this is fine, but during our text convo's its been 95% me controlling the flow and 5% her. During our facebook convo, she never asked one question but basically expected me to keep the convo alive. I hate this! In my perspective, a conversation is a two-way-street.

So my question to you guys is: How do I motivate her to "commit" more to the conversation so it isn't just me talking and asking questions while she just replies.

Meet her IRL first and see if she is the same as over text. If she is I think an honest statement or question can do the trick, like "you don't say much, do you?" or "it feels like I'm doing all the work here". You can even try to stop talking and see if she tries even a little to keep the convo alive. If she doesn't I would not call her back again if I were you.

I considered this. One of the issues is, that I would need to keep the conversation alive from time to time on facebook until we meet. Is it risky to set up the date, and end the conversation shortly afterwards and then wait and see if she starts a conversation on FB?

You're being used for attention.

Here's what's going to happen (1 of 2 things):

1) You're never actually going to meet her. This will fizzle out after you get sick of talking to a ghost.

2) You're going to meet her and it will be insanely anti-climatic. You two won't click physically and it won't be the same as on text.

She sounds like a pro to me, as far as this being the way she operates... Chat buddies with some sexual undertones. Do you think you're the only fella she's doing this with? I'd be surprised.

Also how do you combat this issue in general?

This is not the first girl who'm I've experienced doing this. The last one who did it, was hot, started a convo with me on that site, but after that it was just me asking questions and her just responding. After a while I decided to just reply and not ask a question back. Haven't heard from her since, haha. Its silly and I don't understand the tactic behind it?!

Good perspective. She is hot (H8), but only 18 years old coming from a very small town. My guess so far has been that she is used to getting a lot of attention from men/boys and thus she has perhaps become a little comfortable about recieving attention?

So, this would be outcome #1 as I mentioned above...

These girls just want attention and they like to have some guy to talk to. I think they're more thrilled with the 'potential' of a guy on the other end of their phone that they COULD have if they wanted to... but they aren't real prospects.

Eventually it gets to a point where actually meeting would destroy whatever expectations she's got in her head about you...

What should you do about this? Well if it were me I would be looking for a girl who isn't an hour away and who isn't scared to meet and who is a lot more mature and..... well, you get the picture -- I'd be looking for someone who isn't this girl, and I'd focus my attention elsewhere ASAP.

I don't think you're going to do that though.... So:

Have you Facetimed with her? Anything on video chat? How about regular phone? Or is it all text based? I'd escalate digitally... Facetime or video chat with her if you haven't already (I bet she resists the idea...)

I'd also push for the meet ASAP. A line like "Ok dear, are we going to meet or are we going to keep this relationship virtual" would work... and see what she says - do not drop the topic until you get a date and time from her. Even then -- I'd bet actual money you get flaked on when that day rolls around.

Bingo, you fell for the frame in stead of moving to other girls. Stick to a game plan and do not develop one itus even over your tablet it's never worth it.

So far it is purely text-based. But I never use facetime or videochat. Instead I opt for snapchat, which I might actually attempt to procure later today!

Escalate. Or you're done.

I sorta think you're already done... you just may have to learn that one the hard way.

Naturally. As i mentioned in my OP, I simply let the conversation float. Not to sound douche, but its a relatively small community on that site, and I am pretty popular on the site as well. I've made escalations from the site and people - as in men and women - mention me on the forums very often in a very positive way. I've got several conversations going on the site and many of them are two-way conversations.

The reason why I ask about this particular girl, is because it isn't the first time I experience this "tactic" from a woman, and I was intrigued since a potential meet up in very possible.

Yup, I agree that I need to do something ASAP.

Don't fall in to the "I wanna get to know you over text" frame next time. You're not some scary monster, you're a human like her. If she won't meet for a simple coffee after seeing your pics then find a girl who will.

So when the next girls say "I wanna get to know you over text" just tell them you don't like to waste time over text and invite them again for the coffee. The second you fall in to her frame like that, her interest level decreases significantly. You have to be willing to walk away.