'sup playas,

please tell me a bit about the subject of managing the expectations of the girls you are more or less consistently seeing.

The background is that I have been seeing a girl on and off for about a month, and I have the feeling that she is looking for something a bit more serious than I am. Obviously, I don't want to lie or hurt her by making false pretenses.

How do you usually manage such situations? Best thing I could come up with and what I usually do is reduce the amount of contact with her/see her less often (although I really don't feel like doing this with this one; she's kind of amazing), but if anybody has any genius insights, they would be appreciated. Cheers!

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You could always tell her.

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

I can't recommend anything but complete honesty and transparency. But if she is that amazing, why don't you stick with her?

Haha you have to know that you gotta take a loss sometimes bro. You can't get what you want without hahving to give something up. Think about what you just said... You want to KEEP everything you have the same with the girl emotionally, but at the same time you don't want her thinking its that serious.

The only reason she thinks this is serious in the first place is because of how you've been responding to her. Once that stops, her thinking this is serious will stop.. and her quote and quote amazingness will be reduced as well.. because she will be investing less time and thought energy into you.

Its worth it though. When you don't wanna hurt someone; you gotta do what you gotta do.

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Backing off is gonna get you dumped (or she'll go away or whatever).

Be straight with her.

Alright, that sounds like a pretty clear consensus. Amazing how, for some reason, I hadn't even given talking to her about it much of a second thought. But you guys are right; not saying anything will probably only lead to unfortunate events, and not saying anything feels selfish. Thank you for your input guys, this forum truly is full of great people.

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Just be honest with her. Otherwise you're gonna dig yourself a grave that you're gonna have a hard time getting out of.

Just figured I'd post an update, since I received all those replies and all:

I had a chat with her about our expectations etc. some weeks ago, and it went pretty well... There is a general feeling that the air is clear and that we talk about anything now.

On another note, I am considering to get more serious with that girl, but I feel in control of my own decisions now, which is nice. So thank you for that, guys.

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Be careful bro.. Women have ways of weakening us over time. Just make sure this is what you actually want and haven't just went through the process and become weakened into feeling this way. Your initial instinct is usually the right one.

So just be mindful. I've been through that process several times.

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The best way to manage expectations is the EXACT reason that you stated. Limiting the amount of contact that you have with girls.

I have a personal rule where I will NOT see a girl more than once a week if I am only interested in seeing her casually.

So limiting the amount of times that you contact girls as well as NOT giving girls false hopes is the best way to give girls the absolute best expectations.

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