Im hoping to get clarity on this situation, because i am at my wits end. Ive been going with my gf for the past year and a half. In the beginning it was great, but slowly as I started getting feelings for her, Id start to let things slide, slowly empowering her. Its now gotten to the point where she feels comfortable and in fights she disrespects me, and I am powerless to stop it. Shitty considering how confident i was around her, now im stuck in between loving her and trying to keep myself happy. That said, I AM NOT looking to end this relationship just yet. I do love this girl and am willing to work it out, but i dont even know if thats doable. In the beginning i was everything for her, even though i am 7 years younger than her she fell for me. After about four months of casual dating we got really serious, and thats when issues started coming up. I was insecure, and hated that she had a past, so i did things which slowly broke her trust (go through phones, emails etc) shitty of me, i know, beta whatever you want to call it, i know. I did keep bringing up her past which only made her resent me as she put it, and its been an uphill battle ever since. She wasnt innocent either though, and once she realized that i loved her and was too weak to stop her from disrespecting me, shit fucking hit the fan. Our fights turned vicious, and she wouldnt hold back with anything, where i would go silent and be the bigger person. Fastforward to today, many fights and many arguments later, and i just got back from her place and from another fight, this time i didnt concede, i just left her house and havent talked to her since. I dont this cycle to keep going so i need help in regaining my manhood and my own self-respect. What she says lately is that i need to prove my love for her (she thinks im going to cheat on her, something ive alluded to in fights but apologized for after), that she doesnt respect me, and that she doesnt feel safe/trust me. Fucked situation i know. What do i need to do, how do i set my boundaries and change this situation? I still love this girl, but i cant be in a relationship where i feel the other person constantly has one foot out the door.

A little bit of background information, Im at university and i live at home, in between student loans and living expenses im not rich. Most of my time i spend usually at her place, to which i have the key, so we do spend alot (id say too much) time around each other. Thank You looking forward to your responses!

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Dream as if you'll live forever, Live as if you'll die today - JD

Hey

When person starts to go thru phones, emails, etc, it usually means end of relationship. I am sorry to say it so, but in most cases, people dont trust their partner enough to live without constant pressure and worries about being cheated on and having disloyal partner. That kind of relationship is sick, and also is not trying to understand partner, and bring up their past and their mistakes. So if you want to keep it you both should sit down and have nice talk, and start working each of you on your personal mistakes that are destroying relationship. Otherwise your love will turn into obsession with additive of hature and control over eachother.

I had the same exact type of relationship and I felt insecure even though I knew she didnt and never did cheat on me. Its funny because I never felt insecure enough to look through someone's phone up until then. I was 19 at the time and she was 25 but we are no longer together. It was unhealthy I had my own apartment and she would never leave even when I broke up with her and she insisted I left and she didn't pay a damn thing I owned. She did loved me and I loved her as well, but it was unhealthy and to this day it still is she been trying to get back with me. If you want to salvage it sit down with her and try your best to have a normal conversation with her without neither one of you blowing up, so preferably in a public location to decrease her temptation, but you may just be better off moving sometimes its better to just start fresh.