Ive been dating this girl

We met online, met in person November 2014, I really like her but I feel confused, I’ve felt our dates have gone well, but she isn’t as responsive as she used to be. We have amazing chemistry in person, and I really want to take this relationship forward, to become exclusive. We haven't had the ‘talk'. But this week I have seen her logging back onto the dating website regularly we met on. She didn’t have a profile picture at first we met, now she has put one on! My profile is deactivated, my subscription expires now, I logged in to copy our first initial conversations before losing them. What am I doing wrong? We met up initially once a weekend. She lives further from me. During xmas we didn’t see each other for about a month. Ok we have had 6dates in total but we have build rapport via text and phone. Last saturday I remember her saying, "how is the dating going” in a very shy manner. I didn’t have a clue how to respond. paused then just said hows it for you? She shyly said she is too busy with work it wouldn’t happen. Did i mess up? I have bought so much PUA courses and material over the years I am mentally blocked. We have become more distant. I’m lost how to spike her emotions, sexual interest over text. She’s way less enthusicatic than when we first met. Interestingly, she initiated and had messaged me, and really wanted to meet me. We clicked. I have read out SPAM log trying to figure it out. Nothing. Believe me, I know how this all sounds on this community. I cannot think clearly, I’m not displaying neediness to her, but it’s hurting. I need your support.

I really want to move forward with her. Should I confront her about the online dating profile? Should I put my profile back up?


MOD EDIT: I moved this to the correct forum. This doesn't belong in relationships as she isn't your girlfriend.

Too much, too soon. You're way too needy here and she can smell it. You haven't slept with her yet, either, I take it? and here you are ready to commit.

She also does not sounds particularly interested to me. Since she's been out with you a few times, I think she was screening you for boyfriend potential at one point, but not anymore.

Which one of you cares more, you or her? Clearly it's you.

This is a 2 month fling where you didn't see her for one entire month... see this for what it is (a few dates... you're way too invested).

She's literally asking you how your dating life is going... That's loosely translated to: I am dating other people, I hope you are too.

You need more women in your life. You need more options available to you. You've put all your eggs in this particular basket and it's not looking promising, man.

Probably not what you wanted to hear, but it's the truth.

we slept together on second date. That was because her work place had her a hotel room for a night. I live at home parents, she’s lives at home. Trying to get her into a place to have sex I can’t manage. Last weekend she was talking about her career progression, how many kids we would have. Should I back off? I’m not someone who calls or over texts. Should i ask about the online profile? or just put mine back up?

Online dating was new for her. I had given her the impression I had a lot of options or rather interest from girls in a subtle way. She wasn’t actively on the site before last saturday’s conversation, when she shyly said ‘so hows the dating going’. I was thinking maybe it was a cue for exclusive talk. But obviously you always wait for the girl to bring up exclusivity. So I said nothing but switched it onto her. Maybe my response of ‘hows it for you' triggered her to think she should explore other options?

Those are some details you probably should have included. You both sound young.

She could just be shy and inexperienced. I still sort of think she's lost interest, though.

Regardless of the situation, I would say yes ---- if you are not in an exclusive relationship, then you should be looking... Your 'profile' should be up (I assume you mean POF?)... you should be talking to other girls and meeting other girls and dating other girls.

I know but you always find you can add endless amounts of information.

Not young, mid twenties +. No she's not inexperienced. I think she was really heart broken by her ex a year ago. She had bumped into him about a month ago, had a big argument. I think she keeps a guard up and people at arms length. Initially when she approached me she was enthusiastic, and i felt like she wanted things to move faster.

Just a thought, but maybe playing it too cool I gave the impression I wasn't in it for the long term. Maybe she's confused and thinks I could hurt her or I've lost interest. But then I recently asked her to come along with me to a concert, and even maybe going abroad couple days. (i know I know too much I regret but it was high interest, wanted her in a hotel). She was having a rough time at work, said she wanted to go away but her mates were all busy. When I said it, she acted surprised like 'really you'd actually wanna take me'. It wasn't an out the blue thing. It was actually call back humour in the sense she said, early on of knowing each other, she wanted to go abroad to shop and I should come, where I took the mick of her pushing so fast. She would get shocked when something happened indicating I actually liked her. What makes no sense is how from literally last week not being able to keep our hands off each other, she goes on-line dating. Well thats when I saw it, last week.

Either I can stay the same with her
or I can go distant give some space
or Confront her about the on-line profile, how I came across it obviously, closing the account payments and storing her initial messages. its not POF, it's an asian catered one. I can act casual about it? Then if it's open relationship then i'll have to get out there.

Apart from dating other girls what would you do to re-engage her?

I've heard a girl should bring up exclusivity, so why not a guy? Could it not be done in a dominant way...

I know I sound well over investing, and stressed, but i've also just lost my job. At the moment I'm on a all time low.

Appreciate your support CharlesFinley mate.

STOP NOW!


Dude,

You have to cut this shit out man. Now.. You are pushing her away with this high level of neediness that you are projecting. There is nothing that turns a girl off more than a man that doesn't feel like he is capable of getting another girl just like her. Its a complete turn off.

You have to ask yourself a question.. And lets speak from you highest point of masculinity here. Not the emotional chemical reactions that are going on in your body right now. Why on earth would you want to commit? Women are SPAM the milk for free without making men buy the cow. So why is it that you want to buy a cow when its being offered to you for free? Would you respect someone that was trying to buy something from you like - Tap water from your kitchen- when you would give it to them for free? You would look at them like " This guy is an idiot". And thats exactly how a woman is going to look at you when you so eagerly want a commitment. What is in it for you?

Your insecurities has led this girl to begin to feel like there must be other men like you. There must be better because there is something you are insecure about. If my girl went on a dating site I would give two shits because I KNOW that she isn't ever going to find another guy like me. And lets say she did.. So FUCKING WHAT.. I am the prize and there are SHIT LOADS of amazing women out here man. I swear to you.

It sounds like you finally found you a decent girl with whom you are connecting with and you are losing your shit. THERE IS MORE OF HER and SHE KNOWS THIS. She compares herself to other women all the time and is constantly confronted with that reality. Why don't you know it? You must be lacking in experience; and who wants to be with someone who is lacking in experience.

You need a complete perspective switch. And you need to chill out. Delete all the old conversations. Why do you want those anyway? Thats so sappy and with these guys call "beta" its ridicules. Let the woman cherish and save all the memories. What do you get out of that? You have to firmly believe in your ability to have greater conversations with greater women and not try to hold onto good conversations you had when you were a less attractive version of yourself.

When i go back into my old Facebook inbox and read some of the things i used to say to girls five years ago, i want to throw up in my mouth. You'll feel the same way about this shit in due time.

You have to relax dude and you have to do it asap. Or she'll keep looking for that which you are so insecure about. She's not your girl. Let her have her freedom and do as she please. If you know you're the man, she'll know it and she'll cling to you. If you keep trying to cling to her she will look for something to cling to.

Let me know if you have anymore questions.

peace & love

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