Hi guys. Well on friday I went on a date with someone who I met on the internet a couple of weeks ago. I would say it was disastrous, she killed the vibe in the first 30 seconds, I went to hold her hand to walk into the coffee shop and she pulled it away after about three seconds. Then her friend worked there as a waitress, served us and it felt like she was babysitting the whole time. Then just the whole conversation sucked, she kept talking about her ex boyfriends. Everything had something to do with her ex boyfriends. She gave me shit for not going to university, for not having a lot of friends, for my longest relationship only beeing eight months. And she kept saying this "oh well" stuff so I knew she didnt like this date. Then we walked through shops together and I said to her, "we should be more touchy feely, people who walk by are going to think that we have just come out of a bad date" and she was like "who cares what people thinks." Then when we got outside we gave eachother a dreaded peck on the cheek and she awkardly waved goodbye and walked our seperate ways. As soon as it was over I was like "fuck, fuck, that was horrible."
So then I went on some cold approaches and got blown out by about 20 women I think. I dont think I warmed into my body during the whole time, I was more comfortable during the date and before the date. I kept getting like "no I dont think so" or "FYI I have a boyfriend" or "im not in the mood to talk" responses.
I have another date next week with a different girl. I really want to kiss and fuck this girl. I dont want to be like a dating journeyman, so how do I stop a bad date like that from happening again? How do I prevent the date ending with a peck on the cheek and an awkward wave goodbye again?

How did you guys meet online? The reason I ask this question is because I want to know who shown attraction first. If you contacted her and then she agreed to meet up with you, that means that she probably thought you were interesting and was giving you a chance and she hadn't yet found you attractive. So when you met up, you trying to hold her hand was too forward so it probably put you in a negative space and from that point on she was going to find everything wrong with you.

When a woman contacts you first, unless you say something stupid and she still agrees to go out, she will already be the one pursuing you when you meet up. Therefore, she will less likely be skeptical of who you are and be less judgemental in most cases.

In the future when you online date, I think it's best that you plant seeds for what to expect when she goes out with you. Let them know that you are affectionate from the start and tell them that you prefer women that are affectionate and touchy feely. I do this with just about all women that I meet because, imo, when I do start kino they don't have their walls up because they already expect me to be affectionate. It is also something that she will use to qualify herself to me.

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I met online, I asked her out after about 30 minutes of talking to her, she said no I have a boyfriend I cant, then I said fine- you snooze you lose, then she said fine ok lets go out. Then we arranged where to meet. I made sure that I didn't contact her until wedenday so that she would have to initiate. She contacted me to make sure the date was still on. I had to do something to escalate from an early point just to prove it to myself that I wasn't scared, but during this interaction I forgot all about escalating and it started to feel like she was making me try to qualify myself for her validation, and I never want to feel like that again but I need help from you guys. I don't want to come out of a date disappointed and then go roaming the streets trying to pick up another girl and then get blown out like 10 or 15 times. I love the fear, excitement and adrenalin of approaching, I enjoy the rejections but I would enjoy the escalations even more, but I just don't feel like I get into any type of talkative, comfortable, positive energy vibe during the whole experience. And I feel like I don't learn from it either, I feel like boom rejected go to the next girl, boom rejected go to the next girl and so on.

This next girl im meeting I really want to fuck her eventually. She looks like my mom when she was younger, weird I know, but that's what I like, and I told her that. She is like ''nice.'' I argued with her before a couple of months ago but I contacted her this week and she seems to have a renewed interest.

So you're saying that you asked a girl with a boyfriend out and from the first moment you tried to hold her hand?

You need to learn how to escalate properly. Plenty of posts and books on how to do it the right way.

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She didn't have a boyfriend, she was just trying to see how I would react.

I did better the week before with a different girl. I concentrated on saying less, I went into a frame of not caring what happened, when I ran out of things to say, I just held her hands, stared into her eyes, smiled a few times and told her that I don't like small talk. She stared at me a bit confused and uncomfortable some times but we started giggling at eachother and eventually we kissed. When we got outside we went for a walk and continued kissing.
So my confidence and vibe was quite up going into this next date and somehow she even managed to screw it, and then I started getting the same rejection results as I was getting before from that.

sometimes dates juts go badly dude, I would chill back and relax a bit more on the date, get some banter going before trying to hold hands etc.

Is that friggin it? Ughhh im going to screw up again.

Where are your boundaries mate?

Listen to me carefully... A woman cannot be attracted to a man she does not respect!

Re read that every single day until you understand it. If you lose the respect of your woman, you will soon lose that woman. Now, you can either play power games like the immature that overwhelm this site, or you can start by respecting yourself.

This is what worries me my friend - where are your boundaries? How do you want to be treated? What behaviors will you accept, which are you not?

You mention that within the first 30 seconds it felt off. Why on earth did you stay? Time is the one thing in life I can never get back. It is my most precious commodity. I do not give my time to everyone, and I take it away as soon as something does not sit right with me. Don't you value your time brother?

"other people will think we just had a bad date"
The fk is this?? Do you think a man asks for sexual favours? Do you think his justification for affection is so others don't judge him? She is not your mother...

Listen, don't beat yourself up. Bad dates happen, that's fine. But it's important you learn the lessons you needed to learn her - not ignore them with a desperate plea for tactics not to fuck up the next date.

Dates are FUN. You are supposed to ENJOY getting to know a girl, and being around her and having fun with her and hearing her laugh and how cute she looks when she looks into your eyes.. Ahhhh. I love dates SO much! I had two in the past two days and they both were incredible. Why? Because I respect myself.

You have a lot of work to do mate. Figure out your boundaries! Learn to respect yourself and your time. Stop going to cheap coffee shop dates and start manning up. Blow her fucking mind! Let her into YOUR world. My dates have varied from crazy go-karting and a night on the town, to just low-key groceries, cooking, having tea and shisha at my place. It doesn't matter what you do - what matters is that she gets to experience you.

In this case, you were so worried about what she thought, about what other people thought, about not fucking up and about God knows what else that you were not present with her.

That's all she wants! That's all anyone wants - presence. She doesn't need you to solve her problems, or pay for her, or lavish her with gifts... All she wants is for you to be there, with her. I don't mean physically either... But that's stuff you'll have to learn in time I guess.

Best of luck brother
With love and respect
Mack
Centered Man Project

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Well, we went to a noisy bar. I had a few nervous jitters, meeting someone for the first time it takes me a while to warm up and makes me subconsciously nervous, and I think it showed in my voice tonality and body language and direction of conversation. Also i went into it nervous considering the last date i had. I didnt want to be put into a friend zone again.
I threw in a few compliments at her, tried to keep the talk as minimal as possible, enjoyed staring into her eyes and her feminine energy. Then I tried to take her hands, you know beeing a man and leading and taking action, and she kept moving them away.
I know its small, but I find it rude if someone doesent say thanks, even if I only bought her a couple of glasses of wine but I tried to overlook it. We went for a stroll on the street, held eachothers hands, she told me about her getting back into religion but wouldnt tell me why "its too personal, im not telling you" she said. Then we walked a bit further and I moved in for a kiss. She seemed to know when I was going to make a move because she pulled back and went "no, no, no." It was a bit embarassing because there were people walking by who saw it.
We continued our walk, then she started being confrontational, she said that she didnt like my rules that we had to go on a coffee date first and that I should have taken her to dinner. I said I didnt want to go to dinner on a first date because its too intense, too much romantic pressure for a first date. As we were arguing I felt myself finally starting to relax and that I was finally starting to be me. But then we were at the train station. She blantantly made a point to show me her cheek to kiss it but I just offered her my hand and said "nice knowing you, I had a good time" and she was like "hmmm" and walked away.
Then she text me this morning saying that im a nice guy but that she could only offer me friendship, and I told her to fuck off and dont friend zone me.

Thanks for your help. Great!! It supposed to be an advice forum.