Hey guys,

Little update.

So it's been 2 days now that she's been dramatically more quiet. No more snapchat bombarding, no more text messages, very very quiet.

Nothing special happened so I'm wondering why she's doing this. Can it be that she's just having a pause, or that she's thinking about the whole situation she has with her boyfriend, maybe she realized she was indeed corresponding a lot with me which made her think a little and back off. Or maybe she's just busy but I doubt it, she said she had nothing much going on these next few days..

Maybe this small pause is actually beneficial, cuz we were really going at it like crazy for 3-4 days.

I just sent her a few snapchats today but nothing else.

Should I actually call her tomorrow or something to show that I'm also interested or should it come from her side since she's the one that has a boyfriend and the ball is in her court.

I think this is probably it.

Hmmm....This one is a toughie. I think you should probably give her a call tomorrow.

My suggestion though - don't get TOO hung up over her. The fact that she has a boyfriend really complicates things, and even if you play things perfectly she may still end up with him. Just keep that in mind.

Ok sure I'll give her call to see how she's doing/ask what her plans are for the next couple days and New Year.

I don't think it's because I seemed too into her that she suddenly stopped chatting. Like I mentioned previously, I just responded to her activity, very rarely did I initiate a convo. The change is what surprises me the most, for 5-6 days she'd send me snapchats first thing in the morning, all during the day (of her activities, hobbies,...), texts, photos while she was out at night and snapchats before going to bed.

and now nothing for 2 days. Her last responses to my chats were also significantly shorter than usual.. weird

I also mentioned I'd call her today but forgot to do so because I was quite busy.

When I call her tomorrow, should i mention how quiet she's been these past few days compared to before or should i just let it slip? Is there anything I should definitely mention?

No no, I'm saying the opposite - that she came to the conclusion that she was being too into you, that she wasn't receiving the same attention/effort that she was putting in, so has toned things down a bit.

Or should could just be busy, or could just be thinking about her boyfriend.

There are a lot of intangibles that we can't account for, but I'd say don't think about it too much.

if you seriously want her, absolutely do NOT mention anything about her getting quiet. it comes off as you keeping tabs on her and that's not the vibe you want to give off if you're trying to attract her. think about it: would an alpha male who gets bombarded by snapchats every day from a dozen women have time to pay attention to the fact that one of them was cooling off? nope. so that's the vibe you want to give off.


however... this is becoming kind of a dick move on your part. the girl has a boyfriend and at this point if she's not talking to you and you start hitting her up and gaming her, you're point-blank trying to steal the guy's girlfriend. that's just not what decent men do. what you've got to understand is that young women are not really able to control themselves and resist temptation and novelty. she'll probably leave her boyfriend for you if she's attracted to you enough and you game her well enough. but i guarantee you if she does, some other guy will do the exact same thing, and she'll fall for him.

the deeper i get into game, the more i realize you really can seduce most women, taken or single, plain or beautiful, if you are a decent-looking man who is skilled in the art of attraction. they are such in-the-moment creatures that they don't even stop and think "i have a boyfriend, i shouldn't do this," they just do it and regret it after (which is probably what this girl is starting to do after she's realized she's getting inappropriately flirty with you).

if she continues to give you signals and flirt with you, i have no problem with you doing whatever you want. but if she goes cold and you keep gaming her, it's not a respectable thing to do in my opinion. just my 2 cents.

_________________
You must be overconfident and cocksure, even if you haven't got a god damn thing in the world going for you. And you must fail with women until you do not fear the possibility of failure, whereupon you will succeed wildly.

Good post thanks.

With regards to this being a dick move and everything, keep in mind that she's the one that has been coming to me, and I've only responded, without ever making a move.

When she's going at it for 5-6 days like there's no tomorrow and then suddenly for 3 days there's nothing, I just thought it was weird. When she didn't send me anything for these days, I just sent her a text saying "I have some free time tonight, wanna chat over the phone?" (to catch up over the holiday, like we've already done twice in the past 7-8 days). I don't really call this hitting her up or gaming her to be honest. In the end, she only saw the message late at night and said she'd call me tomorrow.

Also, when she wasn't as active, I would just send her a text or something and if she didn't respond, I didn't go after it, I just went on with my day.

I agree with what you said here:

"if she continues to give you signals and flirt with you, i have no problem with you doing whatever you want. but if she goes cold and you keep gaming her, it's not a respectable thing to do in my opinion. just my 2 cents."

So basically, in this case, action should always come from her side, and when it does, I should respond. But if doesn't, I should back off and have a "not a single fuck is given" attitude to show that I have things with other women going on.

Hey guys,

Little update:

-she's been noticeably less communicative for the the past 10 days or so - fewer snapchats, less text messaging, all around less communication between us. This is, as a few posters mentioned earlier, probably because she noticed how much she was actually interacting with me even though she had a boyfriend, so she scaled back a little. But who knows....

With what happened at the end of last semester - we spent a hell of a lot of time together - I suspect we'll be spending a lot of time together this term: go to class, study together, drinks, lunch, ping pong, other stuff...

So here's my question:

The semester is starting in less than a week and we'll probably see each other this weekend. How exactly should I act? I've already mentioned the fact that she has a boyfriend which makes the whole situation VERY TRICKY. I've never felt this way with a girl ever before but unfortunately, I need to remember that she has a bf and things might eventually not work out. So from what I've gathered from this forum and from other places, I should:

-only respond to her action - since she has a boyfriend - and only react when she's coming forward and/or seems interested.
-kino - everytime I have the opportunity, try to be physical: wrap my arms around her, playful arm/hand touching, kiss on the forehead.
-since she has a BF and that this is not a sure thing, I SHOULDN'T GET HUNG over her. I should "allocate" some time to her but make it clear that I have other "things" going on (as in girls, and I actually do have other things going on so..) and that I can't always say YES to all her invitations/drinks if she's not interested in me as more than a friend, (of course I won't tell her this, just act this way).
-Act as an all around ALPHAMALE around her: i.e. continue seeing other girls, being a confident mutherfucker, taking care of my body, continue going to gym, being as social if not more social that I was during the first term (I was VERY social and she knows this, she'd always tell me that I go out and socialize "almost too much").
-if she doesn't interact with me a lot for a few days here and there, just let it slip and act like everything is normal and ignore her, since like I mentioned, I have other things going on and A TRUE ALPHAMALE doesn't care if one chick stops interacting for while. Hopefully, this will make her somewhat jealous and she'll come back to me.
-see how the boyfriend situation evolves over the next couple of weeks and see how she changes/doesn't change over the next couple of weeks, and if I need to adjust, I'll adjust.

Is this more or less what I should be doing in the next couple days/weeks?

Thanks a ton guys!

Hey guys,

Little update:

-she's been noticeably less communicative for the the past 10 days or so - fewer snapchats, less text messaging, all around less communication between us. This is, as a few posters mentioned earlier, probably because she noticed how much she was actually interacting with me even though she had a boyfriend, so she scaled back a little. But who knows....

With what happened at the end of last semester - we spent a hell of a lot of time together - I suspect we'll be spending a lot of time together this term: go to class, study together, drinks, lunch, ping pong, other stuff...

So here's my question:

The semester is starting in less than a week and we'll probably see each other this weekend. How exactly should I act? I've already mentioned the fact that she has a boyfriend which makes the whole situation VERY TRICKY. I've never felt this way with a girl ever before but unfortunately, I need to remember that she has a bf and things might eventually not work out. So from what I've gathered from this forum and from other places, I should:

-only respond to her action - since she has a boyfriend - and only react when she's coming forward and/or seems interested.
-kino - everytime I have the opportunity, try to be physical: wrap my arms around her, playful arm/hand touching, kiss on the forehead.
-since she has a BF and that this is not a sure thing, I SHOULDN'T GET HUNG over her. I should "allocate" some time to her but make it clear that I have other "things" going on (as in girls, and I actually do have other things going on so..) and that I can't always say YES to all her invitations/drinks if she's not interested in me as more than a friend, (of course I won't tell her this, just act this way).
-Act as an all around ALPHAMALE around her: i.e. continue seeing other girls, being a confident mutherfucker, taking care of my body, continue going to gym, being as social if not more social that I was during the first term (I was VERY social and she knows this, she'd always tell me that I go out and socialize "almost too much").
-if she doesn't interact with me a lot for a few days here and there, just let it slip and act like everything is normal and ignore her, since like I mentioned, I have other things going on and A TRUE ALPHAMALE doesn't care if one chick stops interacting for while. Hopefully, this will make her somewhat jealous and she'll come back to me.
-see how the boyfriend situation evolves over the next couple of weeks and see how she changes/doesn't change over the next couple of weeks, and if I need to adjust, I'll adjust.

Is this more or less what I should be doing in the next couple days/weeks?

Thanks a ton guys![/quote]

Here is my advice. You are already invested in this girl. HEAVILY. This in itself will drive her away. It doesn't even matter if she has a girlfriend or not.

Everytime I see this in the forum "How do I act..." I know that this is already a lost case because you will not be genuine. I say most of the time the best way to act is the way you feel. In this situation however maybe it's not the best thing as you might come across his boyfriend somewhere down the line and end up in hospital.

I'll answer your questions one by one:
If she flirts with you then that's a sign to move forward yes.
In my experience if girls are into you and want something they will do all this themselves. You don't need to do anything. Don't try to be physical when you are not absolutely sure she is up for it because then it will be just fucking weird.
If you have other girls going for you then why are you hung up on her this much ? I never get this. Either you don't have other girls that you are sleeping with or you have girls that you are not interested in. Solution. Meet new girls that you are interested in.
Ok from this bit the only useful thing is taking care of yourself. Which is all you need to do. Be happy on your own skin. If you are not an alpha male you don't need to act like one. If you like to go out and socialize then do it. Again this will let you meet new girls.
This won't work. Ignore someone when you are not interested. Do not ignore anybody to make her jealous. I suggest that you forget about the alpha male concept here and now. This is the byproduct of the PUA industry. A true alpha male would have sorted this out already by either fucking this girl or fucking someone else because this girl is not available.
This is basically wasting you own time. Why waiting for someone who is not available.

The problem with your situation is very simple. You don't have enough perspective to see that you are too invested in a girl who might or might not be yours. This has to come from the lack of experience (I've never felt like this before). Therefore the best thing you can do is completely forget her and go and find someone else. If she asks why are you being distant / not interested in her anymore you say "Because I started to develop feelings for you and I don't want to get hurt". That's straight forward honest and actually is the case.

I can almost guarantee that you don't back off you will get hurt here.

Very good points man, thanks for this, you've put some things in perspective for me.
I do have other girls in my radar but that's just "for fun", I mean it's a university/student hall setting so it's bound to happen, you're constantly surrounded by people. Thing is, the other girl in my eyes is long term material. But as you said, there's a bf and things might eventually (probably) not work out.
The best thing to do is to completely forget about her? really? I mean for sure, I've spent a lot of time with her, especially the last month or two, but I've never made a "move" since she has a bf.
I don't agree 100% with the invested part. I'd say 50% of the time I spent with her was Uni/Class related (classwork, lunch at school, sitting together in class,...) and we happen to be in the same group of friends so we're bound to see each other almost every day around coffee/drinks/chatting. It's something that happens naturally, I don't go out of my way to "invest" in her.

During drinks/parties/coffees, she's the one that would always come up to me and spend time with me. I would always try to meet new people, talk with other classmates, and there she would always almost harass (I'm serious) me to speak with her and listen to what she had to say, or pay attention to her.

And I'd say the rest of it was always coming from her side, she'd always invite me to various drinks, not the opposite, and she's the one that snapchat/textmessage bombed me for 2 weeks after the last week before Christmas. So I don't really consider myself to be heavily invested in the way you're describing. The action was always coming from her side, and still is, I just respond to it.

So in your eyes, I should either forget about her and move on (to not get hurt) or go with my feelings and just respond the way I feel the most natural? Is there no middle ground where I could try to maximize the probability of her leaving her bf (of course not by intervening myself but by having her naturally breaking up)?

She will leave her boyfriend if she is not happy with him. Try to accept that you have no control over this. Of course PUA says otherwise but we don't manipulate girls here.

If I were you I would tell her that I like her and want to take her out. That's it. If she says she has a boyfriend you say thats a shame. If she likes you and not just playing with you she will dump the guy.

I don't think I'll do that just yet - tell her I liker her and want to take her out. I haven't seen her yet in person since before the holidays so I'll wait a few weeks to see how things are going.

It's very tricky really, we've both been in town since yesterday and she hasn't really been contacting me. Usually she'd send me snapchats, textmessages, but now nothing. Perhaps now that she's in London with her boyfriend she has to be more discreet with the whole thing.

Hey guys,

so it's been approx. 3 weeks that we've been back in London so I thought I'd give a little update of how things are going. (REMINDER: she has a boyfriend who lives with her and who came over with her from her home country to study here)

-Like I did last term, she managed a few weeks ago to find a job in London for this summer and probably for the foreseeable future.
-Because of this she's much more relaxed and less stressed about life/courses in general.
-Our "relationship" is still going well, we're very close and keep seeing each other a lot.

-There has been ONE BIG CHANGE: she is being extremely TOUCHY and PHYSICAL, and I mean VERY TOUCHY. She very often grabs/touches my arm and hand now, wraps her arm around my shoulders, around my neck, runs her hand through my hair, pinches my abs, etc... This almost never happened last term.

-The other day, while I was sitting at the university library she came up from behind out of nowhere, and gave me the most amazing shoulder/neck/back/arm massage ever (for like 10 minutes), I didn't even ask for it, she just did it, in front of everyone. It was heaven. Some classmates joined us while she was doing this and they were all pretty much thinking "this girl has a boyfriend ?!".

-Every time we are close up she becomes very flirty: she touches my abs, pokes me, puts her hand on my lower back, cannot stay still for more than 5 seconds, etc... A few days ago, a classmate, her and me were talking and she was touching me like crazy, very playfully and the classmate said "ok, I'm gonna let you two flirt alone, I'm getting out of here". I, of course, playfully touch her back when she does this.

This is new. We were always very close (talked a lot, text,...) but this is a new level.

Here's the thing: I mean it's pretty freakin obvious she's interested in me. BUT, she has a boyfriend. What the fukk am I supposed to do? I don't want to end up having to pay rent or some shyt like that until summer when her lease ends.

So, is she giving me a signal to do something here or what? I'm being flirty/touchy as well when she does it but the whole "boyfriend issue" is keeping me from taking things further.