Hey there dudes and dudettes

I want to give you guys a little bit of background about myself. If you don't want to read all of it just read the bottom of this post.

Growing up I was a shy little kid that was loved enormously by my family and had plenty of friends at school. I remember from being a kid other kids would often ask me if I was feeling sick because I looked so pale.

Things changed when I hit puberty and went to high school. I was still really shy and was suddenly surrounded by people I didn't knew. I got bullied really fast. One of the things I got bullied about was my extremely pale skin. I sometimes caught people talking about me when I walked by. "OMG that guy's so pale!"
Needless to say, my self esteem was unexistant and so was my succes with women (being a nerd obviously didn't help).

Things started to change in college. My self esteem improved and I actually was part of the group and I didn't get bullied. My self esteem was still low however and I still couldn't get a woman.

Unfortunately I quit college after a year because it wasn't my thing. I was going to study something else and I was really scared about my new class. However, during the summer of that year I went on a holiday with some friends and I got quite a tan. When I got back home I got compliments about my looks everuwhere! Less than a week after I went out for some drinks with a guy I know. The day after he texts me one of his female friends found me really handsome and wanted to hang out.
WOW! A girl thought I was good looking? And all that because I got a tan... (I still screwed up because of lack of experience and self esteem issues, but that's not really the point).

Anyway, that was 5 years ago. I started tanning once a week from then (15 minutes in the first weeks, nowadays it's 10. I'm not extremely tanned by any means but it's more than enough to get rid of my paleness). I've had my share of success with women and I am now known as a handsome man. Something I would have never believed 5 years ago. So far so good.

A few weeks ago I noticed a black spot on my hands. My doctor discovered another one and I had both of them removed. I had a very early stage of melanoma... My world crashed and I haven't visited a tanning salon ever since. Ofcourse, I'm looking really pale again. And people have noticed it. I feel really, really bad right now. It's like the confidence I've built up over the years had gone down the gutter

So I've been thinking about applying self tanners. I never used it before because I thought it was gay and a girl wouldn't stay with me if she knwed I was using a self tanner every week. But I now realise that I prefer some people calling it gay and actually have a healthy looking skin over constant remarks about my pale sking.

So in short, to end this post, does anyone have any experience with applying a self tanner? How should I use it? What product should I use and how often?
I'm squite scared about getting a fake orange tan, tains, etc. (As you can tell I still have quite some self esteem issues!)

dont use them they generally do turn orange because they only mimic they appearance of what a tan should look like. there are certain factors you dont know how it will react to your skin so theres no way to know how 'tan' you will go. the product you use whether it is a gradual tanner or instant tan. or how long it will stay on the skin if you dont like the result and you use it you will be stuck with it a minimum of 5 days no matter how hard you scrub it off.
there are other alternatives i dont condone using sun-beds as they can cause skin cancer especially with excessive use and in very fair people.
you can buy tanner that washes off straight away and doesnt last but because its not water resistant dont go out in it in the rain or a pool party.
or embrace the paleness.. if a girl says your too pale say yeah it makes me more obtainable,

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life sucks and then you die! deal with it

I used it once. I thought the results were pretty decent. It was a name-brand type that came in wipe form. It was a gradual tan and it looked pretty natural. Again, I don't use it much as I can naturally tan, but the biggest giveaways to a fake tan is bright flash photography, overdoing the fake tan, and missing parts of your body (usually hairline and ears).

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"You ain't accustomed of going through customs. You ain't been nowhere, huh?"

TL;DR

Pro Tip: Don't wear any white shirts a few days after the fake tan, that shit will wipe off onto your shirt. Very embarrassing.

I don't actually want a tan, I just want to get rid of my excessive paleness. So I guess looking organse shouldn't pose a problem. I'll look into the wash off tanner, thanks.
I haven't heard of those wipes yet. How do they work exactly? And do you remember the brand?
What I've read so far says that showering the morning after applying should get rid of everything. But I luckily don't usually wear white I assume you've had experience with self tanning? Any other tips?

If you're serious about it, get a spray system and a gallon jug of solution. That's what my mother used to do(she was a stylist). The sprayer was a few hundred bucks, but it produced a very good result. A gallon of the stuff lasts about a year and cost maybe $50-100.

I don't have brand names for any of this stuff, but check google for forums dealing with skin care.

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RSDTyler

I googles spray tan right now and this seems to be the answer! But the price of spray tan sessions is huge!
And wouldn't a spray tan make me too dark?

Still, this is probably what I'm looking for! Best of both worlds, tanning evenly acoss the whole body without harmful UV rays

No, I'm not talking about Mystic tans.
I'm talking about DIY spray tans. But with like a hose, and a nozzle made to make like a fine mist. It's basically an air brush sprayer.

It's not that expensive. The air brush was a few hundred bucks and the tanner was less than a hundred.

This is basically what I mean
http://www.airbrushtanmasters.com/product/D100H

http://www.ayusunless.com/ayu_original.html

It's about $300 up front. The machine should last for years. The gallon of juice? Not sure. You have to respray every week, but it only takes 5 minutes. The jug should last about 1 year. 2 years if you only do a single coat. No idea how much it darkens you. Nor %5 vs %10, etc.

I have no idea what model is best, or the best tanner, etc. But this is what I'm talking about.

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RSDTyler

Had to google it:

L'Oreal Sublime Bronze Self-Tanning Towlettes.

Make sure you only use one because it's a gradual tan, not instant. If you're really pale, you may see an instant result, but be sure to give it time to work its course for the full effect. Use some rubber gloves because your fingertips will soak up the fluid and you'll look like a heavy smoker.

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"You ain't accustomed of going through customs. You ain't been nowhere, huh?"

move to Scandinavia and you will be fine. Tell other people that you are embodiment of true Aryan.