Small bump.

So basically the situation has been exactly the same. On/off type cold-hot push-pull and all that.

However she is seeing her ex again and I know they are most likely going to get back together.

So I know this is going to come to an end. However I would like to remain in a dominant position, so I want to end it myself. How should I approach this? What excuse should I use to keep a solid frame and be the guy that takes the decision and doesn't get "dumped" by her.

I want to be the guy who decided to call it off.

I'd like your advice (which has been real good so far thanks to everyone who's contributed) to finish this off well and strong.

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My father once told me:"Son, we are good men in the family and don't have much weakness', but you'll quickly learn that women are our Achilles' heel."

Just don't text her. Don't reply and don't text her

That actually seems childish and doesn't present a solid frame.

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My father once told me:"Son, we are good men in the family and don't have much weakness', but you'll quickly learn that women are our Achilles' heel."

Huh? She was in control the entire time. You let her. She flaked on you when she wanted. She set the rules. She fucked you when she wanted and most likely to use it go get her ex. She run the entire game and she won it. She got to fuck a few new guys and go back with her ex. You let her get you caught up with her mentally. She won. Harsh truth, you didn't matter that much to her. She's going back to her ex and telling him he was the best lay ever and only he gets her that wet. You caught feelings for her. You got played. Whatever you do is not going to get her to suddenly want you. It might as a challenge for her so she could play you again, but truth is YOU'RE the one who has feelings for her so it will just hurt you more. So don't text her. Move on. Find another woman. Learn from getting played. The very fact that you're still trying to prove something here means she's in control. So forget her.

Solid advice. There is nothing more to add; this says it all.

Man fuck that lol. You got to fuck a hot chick with no strings attached. If anyone got played it's the ex boyfriend who basically got cheated on without the title and now he has to go back to dealing with her bullshit. And now you know this girl is a total joke and fucks around with dudes, but you still got your dick wet. You're not some loser buying her gifts and taking her on trips while she goes out and bangs guys. You're the guy she went out and banged. So chin up. We all catch feelings now and then. It's how quickly you can put shit behind you that really matters.

So basically I'd keep things status quo. Don't "break up" with her because you two were never together and she'll just say that and you'll look like a chump. And never respond to any text she sends until she is hitting you up to meet up for sex. Keep fucking her if possible. Keep kicking her out right after if possible. If she never responds you don't come out any worse.

If you go cold now she'll probably hit you up down the line when things get rocky with her boyfriend, which they will because she's just that type of chick. But knowing what we know now, never date her. She's no good. She'll do the same thing to you that she just did with her ex. Don't be that guy.

Find another, better girl, keep this chick as a FB if possible, and learn from any mistakes you made here.

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You must be overconfident and cocksure, even if you haven't got a god damn thing in the world going for you. And you must fail with women until you do not fear the possibility of failure, whereupon you will succeed wildly.

Alright thanks to both of you guys for the suggestions.

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My father once told me:"Son, we are good men in the family and don't have much weakness', but you'll quickly learn that women are our Achilles' heel."

Bump because this is weird and I can't find logic to it.

As predicted it cooled off and we stopped seeing each other, interest died off, like these things go sometimes. However about a month ago a friend of hers told her that I had been saying intimate stuff about her (I was drunk one night and told a couple of guys some intimate things that we had done together - definitely stupid on my part I generally don't kiss & tell, but sometimes its nice to brag).

I obviously denied it and we got into a fight yada yada yada.

No news for about 3 weeks, wasn't trying to contact her or anything to be honest since I knew that train had passed anyways since she had lost interest and we weren't seeing each other anymore or talking to each other. And I was very fine with that, its just how these things go.

Last week however I get text at midnight out of the blue asking me whats up. I don't answer and a couple of hours later its followed by a "Unfortunately a friend of mine mass-texted this and your number was in it. But rest assured you had no business being in it ".

So I brush it off and don't answer, don't give much thought to it. Couple of days later around 9 pm she texts me by saying that "I can't believe that you would say that. It pisses me off". I told her I had nothing to discuss and she knew what I thought of it. She said "you don't understand, it pisses me off because I want to believe you". I told her "fine then trust me, I'm tired of this bullshit". She then proceeded to say that maybe for me it was bullshit but for her it was important because I was the first guy she had trusted since her break up and that she thought I was a really cool guy.

Since then she has been talking to me like before, as if nothing ever happened. I'm distant/cold because I don't know how to act. She often initiates contact very strangely, like using excuses to text me. "My mom was using my phone and fell on a picture of you" type of bullshit opener. Other than that she stays pretty aloof/cold when we briefly talk.

Lets first just get this out of the way because I'm sure some will ask/think: I'm not interested in this woman other than sex. I'm leaving for a 6 month internship in New York in 5 weeks. She knows that. I would never get with this girl, knowing what we have already discussed, as well as the fact that I'm leaving. Have sex with her for a night after a party before I leave? Yeah sure, but I won't be actively seeking it. I've already had sex with her so the "deal has been done".
The thing that I am asking here, is "what the fuck is she doing?". I don't understand. I've dated some pretty fucked up girls but never in my life have I seen this. What is she expecting? She knows I'm leaving soon. She lost attraction towards me, then was pissed at me, and now she acts as if nothing ever happened.
What does this mean? Is she feeling lonely and wants to get fucked another time? If so, she could get with any of the 100 of guys chasing her. She could text whoever she wanted if she needed affection. Is she trying to be friends? Is she horny and needs a guy to fuck her? She has 100 waiting in line to do just that.

I'm trying to find a logical reason behind her actions but I can't think of one. I have no idea what the fuck is going on here.

Maybe you guys can see better looking outside of this than me. Because personally I am baffled and don't understand the reasoning of this situation. I've talked about it with a female friend and she told me "don't try to find logic, because you won't". But stubborn as I am, I come to you with these questions.

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My father once told me:"Son, we are good men in the family and don't have much weakness', but you'll quickly learn that women are our Achilles' heel."

Most guys do not have the skills to bed a woman. Most women don't get with just any guy. You are a proven commodity and a known entity to her. Your standoffishness is making her chase. There's no logic to be found here; she is chasing a little.

Alright thanks for the info.

Happy new year.

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My father once told me:"Son, we are good men in the family and don't have much weakness', but you'll quickly learn that women are our Achilles' heel."

Can't believe this thread is a year old.

Wow, so much has happened since then.

I lived in New York for 7 months, had the time of my life. Came back to Europe around July and straight back into the same old situation with this girl. Pretty crazy.

When I was in NY she got back with her ex, still with him now.

Saw her at a party a couple of weeks ago she said she was in love with me but afraid to leave her bfriend.

Saw her two nights ago at a party again, same old shit and told me the same things.

Can't believe this has been going on for a year.

I've been trying to let loose of this girl. Was easy to do so in NY but since i've been back it's been tougher.

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My father once told me:"Son, we are good men in the family and don't have much weakness', but you'll quickly learn that women are our Achilles' heel."

You already know the answer mate: Meet more women.

Yeah absolutely.

I'm just really picky and have a hard time emotionally connecting with a women. I've had over 20 sexual "encounters" and only connected with 2 girls throughout these years.

So it's always a tough blow.

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My father once told me:"Son, we are good men in the family and don't have much weakness', but you'll quickly learn that women are our Achilles' heel."