Massively blown out 3 months ago, now too scared to approach



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PostPosted: Sun Dec 21, 2014 4:39 am 
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So about 3 months ago I was at a sports bar getting takeout when a HB came in also to get take out. We were standing near each other at the bar waiting so I decided to approach. I opened with a neg/teasing opener, but she responded by rolling her eyes and saying "Thank-you. Not interested." I was responded by smiling and trying to deflect and act like I wasn't actually hitting on her or interested in her, as a way to flip the script and make it seem like she brought it up first. After that I said "That's the problem with some girls today. They think every guy who approaches and talks to them is trying to hit on them or something."

This is where she absolutely blew me out of the water. It was by far the worst rejection I have ever had, or that I have seen or heard about on the internet. She replied with, "Actually, the problem is with pick up artist losers like you, who invalidate women by not listening to them, refusing to back off when they say they are not interested or have a boyfriend, refusing to give up when they don't put out or resist your advances, and otherwise disrespecting and infantilizing them by saying, repeating and believing things like 'women don't know what they want', 'women are illogical', 'women say one thing and do another', 'women want to be lead' or 'you can't believe a woman when she says *fill in the blank here*'. She said this really loud, all kinds of people turned to look and some actually even clapped and cheered. I was so shocked and embarrassed that I left without getting my food.

That was about 3 months ago, and it scared me so bad when it comes to approaching that I can't even bring myself to talk to a girl in a social situation anymore. I remember the blow out word for word as clear as day, and I hear her words in my head often. I don't understand how she knew I was a PUA as I had never even seen this girl before. I had succeeded in getting over my AA but now it is back and worse than ever. I can't even bring myself to go back to that sports bar for fear of being recognized and laughed at. Please help, any tips or advice for getting over this would be appreciated. I don't want to let my fear win, I want to go back to being outgoing and social again.


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PostPosted: Sun Dec 21, 2014 8:09 am 
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Let's start with your side of the interaction:
Quote:
I opened with a neg/teasing opener.

I responded "That's the problem with some girls today."
You opened with negativity and then followed up with even more negativity. You get back what you put out and this is the reason she blew you out.
Quote:
I don't understand how she knew I was a PUA
She must know about the pua subculture and recognized the neg-style opener.

IMO some of her accusatory statements were either true or close to the truth, such as 'women say one thing and do another': We've all heard a woman say "I just want a nice guy with a sense of humor." Meanwhile in general they (not all women of course) get wet for and desperately want to get with the suave playboy who doesn't take any shit.

This interaction is even further proof that when you drop all the gamey tactics and just talk to a woman like the human being she is, you can get the results that both you and the woman want (to get close to eachother and enjoy eachother's company) assuming she is interested.

Before you approach, don't think to yourself, "ok, time to go into pua mode, I'ma go hit on her now." Don't be trying to "get" something from them; instead think, "I'm the prize and I'm gonna go playfully chat her up and see if she's cool enough to chill with me."

But the thing is you can't fake that. That's why some guys have to rely on the crutch of routines etc. and don't see the results they want - because they actually don't feel themselves to be valuable enough; they don't truly believe and embody the "I am the prize" paradigm by feeling great about themselves and the future and by knowing without a sliver of doubt the immense value they bring to the lives of the select fortunate women they meet and decide to spend time with.

A while ago on this forum someone referred to getting "the hand" as a negative response from a woman. I literally had no idea what he meant by this (the girl putting her hand up as in 'talk to the hand') until thinking about it for a few minutes.

You can get wonderful and amazing reactions if you are open to just talking normally with them while subcommunicating sexual intent. There is no need for all the A1, B2, Attraction Stage tactics.

Also this was one girl. Don't let some girl affect your reality. And I am going to suggest something you will probably view as outlandish: Mentally THANK THAT GIRL. Her response was feedback for you: Feedback saying your opener wasn't on point and you may want to modify your approaches. As strange as it seems, she was helping you.

The moment you get out there, casually mention something to a girl about something going on in the immediate environment and she lights up, you will laugh at the notion of temporarily having let that girl at the bar affect your reality.


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PostPosted: Sun Dec 21, 2014 3:55 pm 
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Joined: Sat Jun 02, 2012 9:52 pm
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Neg openers are a bad idea.
Plowing is a bad idea.

A lot of what she said is true. When a girl tells you she's not interested, listen to her.
I don't care about the story about how one time a girl told a guy to fuck off, threw a drink in his face, lit his hair on fire, pinned his hand down with a fork through it, and then by the magic of "plowing" he "generated attraction" and had sex with her.

For every one girl who blows you off and you turn her around, at least ten won't. And your time would have been MUCH better spent, hitting on more receptive women.

Her initial reaction to you, is a pretty darn good indicator of your eventual success. It is not worth following bad leads.

_________________
Quote:
Build an emotional connection through your hard throbbing cock.
Build trust and comfort by holding their hands and covertly rubbing your elbows on their nipples.
RSDTyler


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