Ok so I started dating this girl I met on tinder...she was all over me on date 1, then closed her and banged at hers on date two. we spent the entire next two weekends together at mine and hers, and out and about doing couple things. It was all getting serious pretty quick, we both got std tested as she wanted to ditch the condoms, and she suggested we do a spur of the moment xmas market trip to europe (we live in london), so we were busy planning that this week. The sex was very good btw, and she made sure I knew that. Overall, Id say things were going amazingly.

Then last night she texts me when I was out drinking, kind of suggesting that I cancel my plans to go to my family for xmas, and stay here with her, (looks like she has no xmas plans, and her fam isn't here). she says she will cook for me and wear her sexy red dress. I pretty much just say I can't, and put a sad face at the end. I mean really, was she realistically thinking I was gonna ditch my family who I only see once a yr to be with this girl Ive known less than a month?!

Anyway, I texted her this morning, and no reply. its now 12 at night. Is this some kind of shit test? is she pissed with me? what should I do next? If I manage to salvage the situation, how can I let her know that this type of behaviour is not acceptable?

In general I do have the attitude that I could walk away from this no problem, and I def don't have oneitis. Anyway, the previous girl I was dating started ignoring me too (although things were clearly going badly in that case), and Id like to get this sorted and improve my game.

cheers

If the above truly is the entire story, then you have nothing to apologize for. She's probably hunting for an invite back to see your family by indicating to you she had no plans and suggesting you stay with her... which you shouldn't feel pressured to do.

She may also just not want to spend Xmas alone - which is a reasonable mindset, I think...

Don't let her guilt you into being the "I'm so sorry baby" guy... You've got nothing to apologize for here. She'll come around.

thanks for the reply. Yep that was exactly what happened. I didn't reply to her, and then she texted me two days later....and got the ball rolling again.

After xmas I went away with friends for a week, trip had been planned for ages beforehand. I half heartedly invited her, but she said she only wanted to hang out with me, and not my friends. we exchanged xmas gifts, and whilst I was on the trip she texted me saying she missed me, and i said i missed her too, to which she replied "what are we going to do about that" i was kind of drunk and didn't see what she was saying, and basically just said see you in a few days. she completely blew up on me, and told me it was over, blocked me on SPAM. I texted her, to which she responded sporadically, and emailed and tried to invite her to where I was, but she wasn't interested. Have tried to call, spoke to her once, rest of the time she wasn't answering, but she hasn't blocked my number...yet.

she said ages ago that she has a tendency to make guys prove themselves to her...and I'm starting to think that this is what she's doing. I get the feeling if I no contact, that ship will sail. Im thinking I need to plough on hard and prove to her how much I care, as she broke it off with me cause she had the feeling I didn't want to invite her with on holiday.

advice? tactics to plough through?

thanks

That's bullshit, dude.

That's her pre-warning you to make an effort. It's almost a shit test... not really though. That'd be a red flag for me. She's dictating the terms of your 'relationship' before you're even in one.

What if you said that to a girl? "You know, baby, I have a tendency to make girls work for my cock... You better get to it".

She'd laugh at your face. That's exactly what you should have done when she said that, too.

She sort of sounds a little batty and irrational. Blocking you because you gave her a shitty reply (and you did give her a shitty reply... but all the same, it wasn't horrible).

Why is it you want to try so hard with this one? She sounds like a lot of work to me...

"Plowing through" as you say, is going to get you into something where she's wearing the pants. You're telling her that all she has to do is throw a fit and you'll come crawling back.

Cool,thanks for your thoughts.

i still want her though...regardless of her irrational behaviour and i back myself to be the one wearing the pants if i can turn this situation around. Usually i just move on in this situation, and of course nothing comes of it. What can i do to get her interested again? Sounds like it wont be so much of an effort...as she thinks i didn't care for her, which is better than her losing attraction.

thoughts? Plan of action?

Some guys need to make the mistakes themselves... Told you what I thought.

Maybe another user will tell you what you'd like to hear.