Yo Fellas,

I'm new to this forum, so I appreciate any input - it's nice something like this exists. Here's the lowdown:

About a yr ago I exchanged contact info with a girl in town for only a week, and she told me she'd be moving here in about 9 months. We really hit it off, similar interest, etc. She hit me up to hang out with her friends when she visited for the holidays, but I was out of town. I ended up being in her neck of the woods a few months later, and we met up for dinner, which went fine, and She told me to keep texting her until she moved out here (LA) for good. So for the next 6 months, I played long distance game, all while she's telling me she can't wait to hang out with me again.

She moves out here, and I wanted to do something a bit more special, so i took her out for dinner and drinks. I surprised her with a Welcome Card that I had specially made with her favorite cartoon character on it, the card said stuff along the lines of 'it's awesome you made it out here', 'you're beautiful in every way', etc. She was flattered and surprised. She texted me the next day saying thank you again for everything, and lets do it again - i made a joke saying 'good, as long as i didn't scare you off'. She proceeded to then reply that that's not where she wants our relationship to go, she's flattered, but wants to be just friends. I said sure, of course.

We've hung out a few times ever since, one-on-one every time, she's come to my house and we've watched movies, etc. We've even talked about that subject since and I told her that I have no regrets in being forthcoming with her I still cherish having a relationship with her, she said she's glad she didn't scare me off either, etc.

She initiates contact with me, and still hits me up to hang out, and even invited me to her family's house for Thanksgiving (along with a few other platonic friends). I went, I even brought flowers for her mom as a thank-you for the dinner, and she gave me healthy attention while I was there - I even had to leave early, which I think was good. Is there any hope of transitioning and trying to build attraction again with this girl, seeing as she still keeps me around? She's 22 and a tomboy, and although she's very attractive I can tell she has little to no dating experience and she's very shy. I know I didn't go about things in the most perfect of ways in the early going but is there any hope with her, and how can I go about it? My gut tells me she's warming up to the idea of something between us - or can she really just be clueless about guys, and assume I'm completely over her?

short answer. if you are asking, then there's no hope. otherwise there is.

I appreciate the input, but that answer sounds like a catch 22. I'm gonna go for it again regardless, but I'm seeking insight from anyone that has seen a scenario like this. Thanks

best way out of the friend zone is stop seeing her for a long time (its called recovery mode) and start talking to her when you are a new person so she notices the difference of you being more confident

its like when you are around someone that is really fat while they are losing weight you normally dont see a change but when you stop seeing someone and next time you see them you see a whole new change its amazing. thats what recovery mode is all about

forget her for at least 3 months (more for you than for her) meet new people and come back later if you still want something to do with her. more times or not by the time you are changed you will not care for her as much (which is what will add attraction)

this is the best way hands down.

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Right now there is no difference in her mind between you and any of her other platonic friends. She isn't contemplating a sexual relationship with her bff for example.

So it is imperative to let her know implicitly that you are a man and you have a dick.

How do you do this? Go out and meet and sex other girls. Don't buy them gifts (at least until after you've had sex with them), just give them your presence and your energy.

She will take notice, believe me. Your swag around her will completely change. And, if you do this, you won't really give a fuck whether she un friend zones herself or not. Which - along with the social proof you have built - could likely drive her crazy.

I've pulled through the friend zone so many times that I'm questioning whether or not it's even real.

Just game her dude. Get attraction from her, qualify her, then show her your interested.

The friend zone is only there when you believe that it's there. It's motivation, nothing else too it.

First of all - YES. You absolutely CAN get out of the friendzone. Is it possible with every girl? I don't know. But I have to admit a lot of my success actually comes from my friends/social circle.

Before you even mentioned she made it clear she wants to be just friends, I knew it was coming. How? All the cheesy things you did. I mean, it doesn't matter if they were cheesy or not. What matters is that you clearly showed her she has High Value to you and because she's hardly demonstrated anything, yet, you're calling her beautiful, she can sense you lack confidence.

I'm saying this from the point of view of a guy who was the TYPICAL "Mr.Nice Guy". Here's the question.

What EXACTLY do you want to do with her? I mean, friends with benefits, a relationship, etc.
If it's a friend with benefits (which I suggest you do), your chances are much much higher. A relationship would put pressure on her and you'd run the risk of ruining your friendship - and that's one of the reasons she wants to be just friends. She has nothing to lose, because, hey, you see her as beautiful and she can do anything to you and get away with it.

So what do you do?

First of all, I've noticed that with all the "friends" I've been successful with, there was a certain point when our contact was limited. This gives you enough time and space to "change". You don't have to change per se, you just have to change the way she views you.

To make it clear;
Limit your contact. By that, I don't mean ignoring her. I mean, genuinely find some interests. If you have enough time to be with her, you have enough time to find some hobbies. Hit the gym, take up a new sport, travel, do whatever makes YOU happy (but I recommend going to the gym, anyway).

I'm going to write a longer thread on this, so stay tuned.

Appreciate all the honest insight. To give you an update:

We hung out one-on-one after Thanksgiving, and it went really really well. Saw a movie, went out for drinks, then went out to eat at an all-night diner at 12am, then listened to music in her car for a little while. There was undeniable chemistry and tension, and I was able to get more touchy with her. She texted me first the next day saying she had an awesome time.

This week she invited me back to her parent's house for an Xmas dinner, and no one else could come, so she told me a day in advance it would just be me and her parents. I said sure, and it was kind of nerve racking at first, but it was fun overall. I brought a nice bottle of wine, and her parents got to know me deeper, and vice versa. I believe I came across well and honest, passionate and mature, wise and funny. I learned some deep stuff about her, which explains how she is. After the meal, we all went an walked through the neighborhood looking at the decorated houses. Her parents were off on their own ahead of us, while we walked together, hanging back. It was nice, we could share a comfortable silence between conversation.

The mom kissed me goodbye, and I did the same. I wanted to then kiss her (the girl) goodbye as well but I chickened out and went for the hug instead, didn't want to be too forward in front of her family. She reminded me to make plans to see a movie with her. In addition, I told her I would take her out dancing - which she say definitely, which could be good because i could get more physical with her and perhaps make a move if she complies with everything.

She may still be seeing everything as very platonic, or she could just be waiting for me to make a move. That friend-zone back in June feels eons ago, and maybe she's woken up and realized I could be the guy she gets over the dating hump with. I don't really know, but I'm trying not to overthink the fact that she clearly enjoys her time with me, despite her being pretty guarded and scared, and now the parents like me so I'm sure that plays somewhat of a factor.

I feel like I just need to make a simple move very quick, the next time we hang out, get some kino escalation going, and kiss her and act like it's nothing and see what happens.

Good instincts and I agree. She may still feel it is platonic. The instant your hand goes to her leg, you'll know whether she feels it is platonic or not. Put it this way, you've gotten more action from her mom than her, so don't count on anything developing with her.