Quote:
I have lived in Sacramento my whole life
a lot of people say it is a rat hole but I love it it's a part of me.
Some would say I’m a guy of the geeky variety I collect comic books and I still watch the occasional cartoon
I have 2.8 percent Neanderthal ancestry
what I'm I doing with my life not much but
Someday I plan to open a Viking themed mead bar
The first thing people notice about me is my ****ing crazy hair
I'm pretty cool but
I have some standards
if you eat chicken mcnuggets with anything expect tangy barque sauce don't even talk to me
I can't stand juggalos, door to door bible thumpers, and worst of all hipsters
yep that's pretty much me.
any tips?
Your photos are far more important than this profile text. If the reason you posted this is because you're not seeing results, I would suggest either posting the pics (or send them via PM - whatever you want)... That's LIKELY the issue.
As for the text itself, it's kind of... stuffy I think.
It's not funny... I think that may be what you're going for but it's just not hitting the mark. Some stuff is just outlandish in parts and you're going to turn girls off.
I'm guessing the odd line-breaks are just a result of your copy/paste... but if they aren't, get rid of them. It makes it tough to read.
It's not well-worded and doesn't make you sound very interesting, honestly (completely just trying to be constructive here, man... not hating on you).
Grammar/punctuation are important - really... especially if you're looking for more than a hookup. You're missing periods, capitalization, and some stuff is just tough to read and could be worded better (I'm not the grammar police... really... I am just giving you feedback).
This line is completely unnecessary: I'm pretty cool but I have some standards
Again, your photos are WAY more important... but if I were to make changes to this text it might look something like this (and adjust away, or disregard altogether... I just made this up now off the top of my head and it's incomplete)...
A little bit about me:
Frequently the envy of grandmothers at wedding receptions everywhere, my name is X and I'm a Sacramento native with a geeky side.
And by geeky side I mean I'm awesome, and possibly a superhero (you'll need to get to know me).
Pet peeves are hipsters, salespeople, and girls who don't eat their chicken mcnuggets with tangy BBQ sauce.
(honestly I'm not even a fan of the chicken mcnuggets line... I left it in cause I didn't want to rip this up entirely).
Good luck, Post a link to your profile pics... or feel free to PM me if you want to discuss profile pics but don't want to post a link here.
CHAT
