Goal
I believe it should be my birth right to be able to approach any female that I am sexually attracted to, and do whatever I can to get whatever I want from the situation with absolutely no fear of rejection and to be full of self confidence.

Reality
I have no problem with talking to people in general and even hot women for that matter (well maybe a little bit more nervous when talking to a hot woman). It depends on the reason, time, place etc of the interaction. For example, in my job I work as a personal trainer so naturally I help many different kinds of people. In this professional mode I remain that, and do my best to help that person. This therefore makes talking to women easier because there is no pressure on myself, and I know that they don't think or expect me to hit on them.

When it comes to my social life, I have a wide range of friends and tend to know a lot of people. So socialising itself is not an issue for me. The issues arise when I'm out of my professional work place, in a bar or a club. I am in the open either with friends or alone, I see a beautiful woman and I really want to make a move on her to begin an interaction. Then all of a sudden, BOOM - fear, approach anxiety and all the negative thoughts start going through my head. Most of the time I pussy out and don't go for it. I think "ok, i'll just get a little more drunk then i'll do it".

Occasionally I face the fear and do make an approach, but usually don't get anywhere because I don't feel in control. I basically feel like I don't know what to say or do to make this girl feel attraction for me. In a bar or a club I think that a girl will know I'm trying to hit on her because it's the nature of the place so it feels like they have a guard up.

Just last night I was in a bar with a small dance area where I was with some friends. The ratio was pretty good and I'd say at least 50:50 guys/girls. There were a few groups of 3 and 4 sets and one particular girl who I thought was incredibly beautiful. I wanted to talk with her so badly or at least do something to get her interested in me. After 15 minutes or so she left with her friends and I just ran things over in my head thinking "what a pussy I am". I knew then that I have to change.

So in short, here are the areas I believe I need to improve based on my own self observation. Please feel free to comment or suggest ways that I can improve.

Self confidence - I want to be able to approach ANYBODY and feel good about myself and not care about the outcome because I am happy in myself.

Understanding of what works and what doesn't - what do I say to women in these situations? How can I build attraction whilst being myself?

What are the phases for seduction? Attraction, comfort etc.. and how do I know when its time to move on to the next phase?

Thank you.

The whole phases thing fucks guys' heads up I think more than anything because you want to be and embody comfort and attraction from the very start and throughout.

You are afraid to approach because you are afraid of rejection. Very normal. It's largely ego-based.

When you approach, comment on something in the vicinity. Get into a little conversation about that. Then you notice she's cute or whatever and you mention that to her very casually. Then you trade some info about eachother. Then you tell her you have to go but you want to continue it. Then you take her #. Throughout you are subcommunicaing your intent, you are going kino and your eye contact and entire presence tells her you aren't there to be her bff.