Sort of long distance relationsship, advise



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PostPosted: Tue Nov 11, 2014 10:01 am 
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Hi!

I've had my girlfriend for about a year now now, 3 months ago she moved about 2 hours away for school.
We se each other every weekend or atleast every other weekend.

This weekend she was out clubbing with some friends for from school, she had told me about it and im ok with her going out. My problem is that this weekend after clubbing she had two of her male friends join her for an afterparty at her house (she told me about herself, I did not ask), she said they were up all night talking and drinking til about 8 am when they all went home and she went to bed. I like the fact that she feels ok telling me this but it still bothers me a bit that she had two males in her home til about 8 (i've met both of them, one is single the other one isn't). When she told me about it over sms I responded something like "Sounds like you had a good night out:)" and asking her about the night (where they went, what the ate, and just making simple conversation). I was not being aggressive or rude, and her responses were long and full of detail (not simple yes/no)

She isn't sending me as many sms/snapchat as she used to. Before this incident I just figured is was because we have been together for almost a year, but now i'm going into afc/insecure mode. Our weekends are great and were having lots of sex, but i'm a bit anxious to see how she behaves this weekend and if I should bring up me being uncomfortable about her having an afterparty with 2 guys.
Any advice on how to handle this?

Sorry for any bad grammar!


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 11, 2014 10:12 am 
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The Grand Puba
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Continue having lots of sex with her. Don't bring it up because it'll only make things worse because you will instantly be viewed as insecure. Then she'll run into some guy who will take advantage of you being insecure and he will fuck her so well and make her wonder why she has to wait every other week to have sex with you when he's so close by.

But what you should be thinking about is that LDRs rarely work out especially at the university level. Someone always ends up cheating. Judging by your description, if she hasn't cheated yet...she's on the verge of doing it.

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 11, 2014 10:33 am 
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Quote:
Continue having lots of sex with her. Don't bring it up because it'll only make things worse because you will instantly be viewed as insecure. Then she'll run into some guy who will take advantage of you being insecure and he will fuck her so well and make her wonder why she has to wait every other week to have sex with you when he's so close by.

But what you should be thinking about is that LDRs rarely work out especially at the university level. Someone always ends up cheating. Judging by your description, if she hasn't cheated yet...she's on the verge of doing it.
Thanks for the reply!

I just got a job opening close by so that we could move together, we had this conversation when school started and she actually started crying out of happiness because of me wanting to move to a new place because of her (but that's 3 months ago now)..
And that's what i'm most afraid of, moving to a new place for a new job just to find out right before moving that it's over. So i'll most certainly bring up the job opening this weekend and she how she responds.
Then again, the job is very exciting so I probably will take it anyway lol..
My hope is that she's honest when I tell her about the job if she is having any doubts, and that she don't leave me in dark about here feelings until right before moving..


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 11, 2014 11:11 am 
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I just got a job opening close by so that we could move together, we had this conversation when school started and she actually started crying out of happiness because of me wanting to move to a new place because of her (but that's 3 months ago now)..
And that's what i'm most afraid of, moving to a new place for a new job just to find out right before moving that it's over. So i'll most certainly bring up the job opening this weekend and she how she responds.
Then again, the job is very exciting so I probably will take it anyway lol..
My hope is that she's honest when I tell her about the job if she is having any doubts, and that she don't leave me in dark about here feelings until right before moving..
Based on her actions with chilling with 2 dudes at her place until 8 in the morning, ask yourself this: Would you have two chicks to your pad until 8am and if you did what would she think of that.

My suggestion would be to only take the job if you would do it if she wasn't in your life.


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 11, 2014 12:02 pm 
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Yeah, I've been asking myself that a lot! And I totally agree, I would not have two chicks in my pad all night.
I've never said anything to her about her hanging out with her male friends from time to time, and she has never said anything to me about my female friends.. But I just feel that this "all night" episode is a bit "no go" when in a serious relationship.. I guess we'll se what happens over the weekend, ill keep you guys posted!


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 11, 2014 6:09 pm 
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Yeah, I've been asking myself that a lot! And I totally agree, I would not have two chicks in my pad all night.
I've never said anything to her about her hanging out with her male friends from time to time, and she has never said anything to me about my female friends.. But I just feel that this "all night" episode is a bit "no go" when in a serious relationship.. I guess we'll se what happens over the weekend, ill keep you guys posted!
i think it's plenty fair to tell your gf you don't want her hanging out until 8am drinking alone with two other guys.

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 11, 2014 6:35 pm 
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Quote:
Yeah, I've been asking myself that a lot! And I totally agree, I would not have two chicks in my pad all night.
I've never said anything to her about her hanging out with her male friends from time to time, and she has never said anything to me about my female friends.. But I just feel that this "all night" episode is a bit "no go" when in a serious relationship.. I guess we'll se what happens over the weekend, ill keep you guys posted!
i think it's plenty fair to tell your gf you don't want her hanging out until 8am drinking alone with two other guys.
Back in my university years, I would have taken advantage of that. Girls in LDR's are so easy to get because there is usually tension in the relationship just because of the distance. The guy usually is trying to control her from a distance and that is usually the cause of the tension. The worst part is that the girl would bring up her boyfriend, and I would talk about how secure he must be knowing how attractive she is and him being so far away. Just saying that would amplify the tension and all I would have to do is understand where her frustration was coming from and escalate at the same time.

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