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I'm going to summarize the past few days.
Thursday, October 23, 2014
pFAc had been spending last week's nights in jail because she got a DUI when we were out one night. I picked her up from work and took her back to jail Thursday night (she had work release). As we sat in the car waiting for her to go in, I asked if she thought any of the girls she met in jail had drinking issues. She said maybe, and that she herself may have had one in the past. I asked why she said this, and she said because she went out so often. Turns out she had a period of about a year where she went out Wednesday through Sunday. Something that she said in the past struck me then. She said she used to makeout with everyone when she used to go out, and if she went out five nights a week for about a year--that's a fuckload of dudes!
Goddamn it.
My girl's a ho.
I went home and questioned whether I could be with a chick who macked down that many dudes. It's hypocritical that I would count my makeouts this year (which is at 145 as of right now) and still judge a girl based on the number of meaningless makeouts she pulled in the past, but I don't give a fuck. This is my goddamn life, and I can be as selfish and hypocritical as I fucking want to be.
Friday, October 24, 2014
I had to meet with the Euro chick in my class (the one I've tried to game in the past) to discuss some school things. She said she wants to study with me but can't because she's friends with my ex. That fucking bitch.
I met up with pFAc after class. She was released from jail today so I wanted to spend time with her. It's weird because I've only been out a few times since I got back from the trip back in summer. A few months ago, I lived to go out and game bitches. I feel like I've become bitchmade. I know the g is still in me because I saw it come out last weekend. It's just this relationship with pFAc that's fucking my shit.
We chilled at my pad, in my room. Nothing more.
Saturday, October 25, 2014
Woke up with pFAc and took a little road trip to a town I lived in for a few years back in the day. It was pretty fun. Got back home, had some carne asada at her crib, then mobbed back to mine. We had an argument in the car that persisted for the night. Shit got messy. She hates my past, and I don't necessarily like hers right now either. Had probably the most passionate sex I've had with her after we got done tripping.
I'm writing about these things because I want to provide a glimpse of what happens when you take a break from game to fuck with one girl. This may apply to any inexperienced dudes out there who have never been in a relationship or those who haven't been in one for a while and forgot how the shit can fuck you up. It's somewhat easy to get hung up on one chick if you separate from your rotation and spend too much time with her, which is exactly what happened to me when I traveled half the country with pFAc. Be wary of that shit. The best way to game is to grab up as many girls as you can and spread your time out between them during the day and gaming other bitches at night. When you do this, you're untouchable, you're a baller. You can develop a rotation within about a month of consistent going out, I'd say.
Dealing with relationship drama, and jealousy, and anxiety, is just fucking bitchmade. Going player is where it's at. You have your regulars--who can provide the sexual services of a relationship. Fuck emotional connection and all that bullshit. It used to sicken me--and still does actually--seeing guys walking around holding their girlfriend's hand. That shit is lame. You be the badass player who bangs bitches without a sensual connection and then send them off to fuck with their weak boyfriends in the future. That's where it's at.
I'll express this more later, but I gotta run to class. Peace, players.
It's really strange how a girl's past bothers men. I know most people say to just "get over it" but those are people who have no idea what they're talking about and are in a relationship with a chick who hasn't got such a "slutty" past, or guys who just don't get laid and are white knights, or girls. I can tell you my girlfriend's past has really gotten in the way of our otherwise good relationship, just because my mind cannot deal with it. As suspected, she didn't understand it, and she still doesn't, having told me to "just get over it".
If you have no emotional connection this shit doesn't bother you one bit, because all you're doing is fucking and that's it. But once there is an emotional connection, it has a very real effect on you as a man. It is insane. I am truly starting to think this might be a deeply ingrained replication mechanism in our brains, or a deeply ingrained psychological issue from very early on, however since so many men suffer from it, I lean towards the first. I haven't found any scientific articles on it as of yet, maybe because most people don't see it as a real issue. I have even talked to my therapist about it, and even she can only offer to glimpse into my psychological history, nothing more, saying it has to do with upbringing and the likes, however it is an almost universal issue.
Anyway, hope you can sort this out for yourself. And of course feel free to PM me.