Last night: I was with a hot hot girl but she got pretty drunk. When we left the party, we were the last ones to leave since we knew the host, and we were figuring out rides and everything. I was sober. She was not. She started to get cold outside so i wrapped her in my Hugh Hefner jacket that i had in the trunk from Halloween. I started rubbing her back with the jacket on her to warm her up, and she was holding onto me tightly. I'm not sure if this turned her on or she was just into me, but she started rubbing against me pretty hard as we were lying in the grass. She started to put her hand down my pants and... I stopped her --Three times--, i told her she was to drunk. She kept saying, "comeone", and "what's wrong with being drunk," and a few other things i have trouble remembering and she kept pushing it.(She wanted it so fucking bad) She grinded on me, and started kissing my neck, and it was so hard, but i stoped it again and said, "No, not not, when you are sober." I told her, "It will be so much fun when we finnaly do, but not while your this drunk."

She was with her friend during this, and they couldn't drive, so they wanted to crash at my place, and i of course said yea. We all went back to my house and all crashed on the bed together. I layed the opposite way of both of them (I'm still not sure why). And the girl that was into me put her head on my legs and help onto my arm and fell asleep. In the morning all 3 of us got bagels together and talked about the night and laughed and had a great talk. (The girl and i didn't talk about any of the sexual stuff though, and i also know they both remember the whole night as a fast. Her friend also didn't know about what happened).

I got the girls number and they just left. Now i have a few questions for you guys that are way more knowledgeable then me, since this was a totally new experience, and i would greatly appreciate some feedback.

A. What do you think of the whole situation?
B. Do you think i was right to hold off?
C. "I am really into this girl now" Should i bring up the sexual stuff that happened when texting with her?
D. Were hanging out again, what should i do?

Novice questions, i know! And i GREATLY appeciate the feedback, this was a huge experiance for me and i can't wait to hear from you guys on pro's, con's everything! Tytyty.

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A. I think she likes you. Seems fairly evident.

B. Depends. You say she remembers everything. My general rule is if she's coherent and willing - then all good... I mean, you can kinda tell when a girl is simply too drunk - and that's obviously a red light.

C. NO. Ask her out. Escalate when you're out. Don't mention it. Don't mention you like her. Don't mention you want to date her.

D. See response C -- go for some beers or invite her over to your place for a movie (if you can get away with the movie, go with that... Easy to escalate.)


I'd add to this - if you get her in a position where sex is an option again, and you don't convert, you're running a risk of her fucking off on you... Chicks do not like what seems to them, emotionally, as a rejection... and repeated ones are just giant red flags for them.

Thank you Charles, i really like what you said here, it gave me a better understanding of this whole situation. I didn't read it in-time though, and i think i royally F*cked up.

Our Text Convo.

Is it over for me?

For context, she doesn't actually go to church, that was a side joke, on the very first text, she left something at my house, that's why i said nice

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2 words, "Not Interested".

Don't be F-zoned. Been there, done that. It's not worth it.

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I can definitely see how i have been F-zoned, and i can see how simply saying, "Not Interested" could be the best way to go.

One thing i noticed was that she said, "friends for now." It makes me think that she thinks we could hook back up or have something later? Or maybe i'm over thinking, and that's what girls say to guys in the F-Zone

Another thing is her group and mine want to start hanging out and they want to party next week with me and some friends so should i escalate then if i keep up with this or make her jealous talking to other girls?

And finnaly! What's the best way to respond to that text?

Thank you again guys!! I would be so lost and going in the wrong direction without you guys teaching me!

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She proposed talking or meeting - wasn't clear which one - sometime over the weekend and you kept pushing for a weeknight meet, with something about tutoring her for homework. That seemed a bit clingy so the girl - as all girls do, going with her feelings IN THE MOMENT - busted out the friends line.

You: "I have enough friends, hit me up if u change ur mind"

And go out and meet more girls.

When a girl counteroffers it means she's interested. With the next girls, take their counteroffer if you're available to meet on the day/time they've offered and leave it at that.

Dang, you guys are both saying that so I know that's the way to go, it's hard though because the girls cute and her friend was asking if we all wanted to hangout again this week :/

But if you guys do think that's the only way I can redeem myself in her eyes, then I will, and I'll tell you how it goes, are you guys sure trees no other option, where I don't look needy but still chill with her this well or something?

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My most helpful mentors:
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R.C.

Giving her an ultimatum is just one option. You could agree to hang out "as friends" and escalate at a private location as normal, saying you can't help yourself she is too hot for her own good she is turning you on so much, and see if she goes along with it. The "too hot for your own good" stuff is not normally needed of course, but here it is a justification for your escalation despite having agreed to hang out as friends.

On the other hand if she is not having it if you so much as pat her on the arm, just move on to other girls.

Also: Don't de-escalate the venue to a restaurant or something. This girl was literally getting in your pants the other night. Invite her over and escalate.

Personally im reading a bit more into this than i normally would primarily because she was trying to fuck you.

She's said lets be friends for now because she realises you have all the power knowing she liked you. So to gain the power back you have to do what the guys said.

'Sorry i have lots of friends i dont think i need one more, especially after your antics last weekend i dont really see you in that way, anyways if you change your mind give me a text cya'

She will no doubt reply with 'what antics ?' DO NOT REPLY to this it will drive her wild that your not giving her the attention.

good luck and keep me up to date

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Just catching up now...

Well that was heartbreaking.

You had her if you played it right... Oceanx nailed it - she proposed a counter date - and after your first original post here, she *WAS* into you... you just kept pushing until you made her commit to either 1) a date and time; or 2) to just be friends... and she picked the latter.

Next time when she counters an alternate date and time, you say "I think I can make that work"

The best thing you can do in this situation is just laugh it off and pretend like it never happened. If she were to do this to other guys, 9 out of 10 guys would text her or call her and ask to talk about what happened. DON’T DO THIS.

Instead just move on, let that experience stay open and let that sexual tension build off that night. If you pretend like it’s not a big deal then she’s most likely going to assume, “wow, he didn’t even confront me about that night... This must not be that out of the ordinary for him...”

And BOOM, just like that you have been preselected by this little hottie.

So like I said, leave that one night unclosed, laugh about it cause you know how bad she truly wants you now, and don’t make a big deal out of it. You should be good to go.

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I'd add to this that if you're going to ask for advice, and then just go and do whatever you're going to do anyway without checking for responses first, you probably brought this one on yourself...

Have to remember to get the girls that are amazing you have to realise that they can leave you at anytime.
So to get them you have to be prepared to leave them.

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I was in my head during this whole thing, i definitely should of checked first, i made some mistakes and i am learning from them. It's to bad though because you guys were dead on with what you said, and i could of saved this.

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Alright for anyone who is still interested! This just happened



This time i took your guys advice fully.
I didn't try to change the time, i took what she gave.
Then when we hang out, i'm going to escalate like Charles said and game as i normally would!

Any final advice or feedback?

_________________
"There is no failure. Only feedback." ~Robert Allen

My most helpful mentors:
Much thanks too;
Eddie Fews
PEBBLE
R.C.