Hello PUA'ers!

A few months ago I wrote in here asking about how to get my Ex back after we almost just had broken up.

Today, 4,5 months after we broke up, we've kept in touch - as friends. Which was, for the most part, OK. I could not see a way to re-ignite her heart once again, and she was not interested in any form of romantic relationship with anyone for at least a year due to her living with her dad until she finds her own place - but first after she finishes up her half year internship as a radiologist in a whole different city (2-3 hours away).

Her reason for breaking up, as far as she has told our friends in common, is because it simply went too fast. But she told me repeatedly that there might be a chance of us getting back together, when has moved out to her own place. She wouldnt deny interest in this - without me asking her. I went completely One-itis because of this and this sparked alot of conflict between me and her, because I was trying too hard to almost pressure her. I realized that it was stupid, and I calmly told her that I would calm down and be natural. She loved this and immediately became very happy with me.

I respected this, and we've stayed somewhat good friends up until 2,5 weeks ago where we perhaps had a slight misunderstanding.

Before this we usually texted casually, snapchatted, and she even asked me, several times, to go to the fitness center with her, so that we could work out together - me and her. Additionally she asked me to invite her to my housewarming party, as i just moved out - (I lived at my parents house, while we were dating). All of this while I was improving my own life and still seeking out other girls - mainly to keep my one-itis at bay, and perhaps find another SO.

All of this isn't really anything overly special. Its a slight indiciator that she has an interest in keeping our bond alive.

THE ISSUE

2,5 weeks ago, she did not ask me, to go training with her. Instead one of our common friends asked me and I said yes. Worried about her sudden lack of contact, I wrote to her asking if she was coming. She said yes - but in an almost cold-like manner.

I went and we joined some instructor who was training crossfitness for beginners. My friend was placed in-between me and her, so we did not have alot of contact. Suddenly our instructor asked that we find ourselves a partner.

Seeing I had the one-itis problem I fought myself not to ask her, seeing as she actually didnt even bother to contact me about fitness that day. So I just asked the hot girl in front of me to be my partner, and she smiled and said yes. My friend was looking at me, as he had no choice but to ask my ex, which he did.

I was fine with this, and after we were done, my ex told us that she wouldnt be leaving with us, as she had to pick up her girlfriend so that she could visit her.

After I got home, she finally left the fitness center and immediately snapchatted me - while driving. As if she just couldnt wait to contact me. She wrote: "Oh, it was so hard today. Im going to be soar tomorrow "

I replied: " Yeah it was okay!".
Immediately after i sent this snap-message, I remembered that she bought some massage oil, back in the VERY early days of our dating, so that i could massage her.

I joking took at picture of the massage oil, and wrote; "Maybe we can fix that soreness up with this "
Her reply was "No, you can just save that massage oil for someone else ".

WOW, I was thinking. I replied again jokingly "No, this is only for you " and straight after wanted to change topics so I sent another message immediately "Do you think you can go to work tomorrow while being sore? "

I received no response. And to this day, all that ive heard from her, is a personal and friendly birthday-gratiulations message on my facebook wall. 2,5 weeks of no contact. This has never happened before.

Guys and ladies - I am deeply confused here. How can she get so frigthened by that one snapchat message?

And what could I possibly do next?

Keep in mind, that I still have some interest in keeping her as a friend, but I still like the idea of us finding back together again romantically.

Bump

One-itus my man. It can be brutal. Only solution: Meet more girls. When she finds out you're doing this she MAY chase; if she does, don't chase back as hard next time.

Yeah, it is indeed one-itus. I guess I got to work with this with some Inner Game.
Besides going out with other girls, what can possibly be done if I wanted to get back with her?

At this moment we've had no contact for 3 weeks - except for her birthday message on my facebook wall. I haven't contacted her due the fact that she did not answer me the last time, as mentioned in the OP.

I wanna play it cool and wait for her to miss me - hopefully.

What approaches should I take?

Thanks in advance.

Perhaps some litterature that I can read to get the theory straight before performing it?

CUT ALL TIES. DO NOT BE FRIENDS WITH HER ! DEPRIVE HER OF YOUR ATTENTION ! SHOW HER YOU DONT NEED HER ! GO WITH OTHER GIRLS.

Tht is the only way you have a chance of her coming back trust me

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You can fail all your life but still achieve more than those who did not try.

I posted this in another thread... I stand by it - and can verify it works:


How to get over oneitis -- 3 easy steps:

1) Remove her from your life entirely: Block her number. Block her FB, Instagram, Twitter, LinkedIn, etc. Do not search for her.

2) Find a rebound: Get on Tinder, start hitting on anything that moves. Fuck someone as soon as possible.

3) Keep busy with other girls: Have ~10 on the go... texting, calling, dating, flirting, drinking and having fun. If one's busy, you've got 9 more.... If one isn't replying to your texts, who fucking cares, you've got 9 more...

After step 2 you'll feel about 50% better.

After step 3 (or even mid-way though Step 3) you'll be nearly over her.

My female roomie told me something which was a huge eyeopener. She is a PUA, even though she won't admit to it. All her techniques resemble what i've read here and other sites about being PUA.

She told me, that IF she was interested in me, then she would definitely contact me.

Seeing as I probably crossed a line of my Ex's with the snapchat message which I sent (Explained in the first post - with the massage oil), it seems that I should be the one contacting her if I want to regain her trust again?

All of our common friends agree that it perhaps wasn't the best idea to invite her over to get a free massage

So in conclusion, our common friends think that I made the mistake and that I should be the one contacting her, if I want to establish anything again?

What is your guys stance on this? I was just being C&F with the massage message. Never expected her to freeze me out.

... I think you're not actually reading any of the advice offered here.

I am. I am just trying to get different perspectives, because although I love advice, I also love to learn so I can better interpret signals in the future.

Im being told to Freeze her out, and go dating other girls - so that I can win her back / or to beat my oneitis. What my former post was about was merely asking for perspectives on the situation from people outside our common circle of friends

She's told you that she doesn't want you anymore. She's told your friends that she doesn't want you anymore. Where is your self esteem?

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mpuaforum.proboards.com

I'm sorry I wasn't entirely clear. She's told our common friends, that she likes me, thinks i'm sweet and lovable guy, but that the issue was that it went way to fast, when we first got together. Additionally she has told me that she does not want to deny a chance for me and her to get back together - just not right now.

She wants to take it very slow until she is ready.

But I do see your point and I would agree if it was the case.

This tells me, that I haven't played my cards right to cross that wall of uncertainty?

If she thought you were that great of a guy she wouldn't let you go, even if it went too fast. That is the excuse she is giving to the friends because they know that she has broken off with a nice, good guy. It's the excuse she gave you because she's protecting your feelings.

Everyone is right in telling you to cut ties. You don't have enough willpower to do the things you need to do to really get her back.

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mpuaforum.proboards.com

Go with Charles' and others perspectives of no contact at all. Zero. Meet more women. When she finds out about this she may be interested again, but it's the only way she ever will.

The very fact that females are telling you to contact her ASAP is reason enough to never do so.

"Sweet and lovable" means the thought of having sex with you would make her physically sick.

Next!