Ya you didn't mention she lies... And that she gets away with it and you don't call her out or push her on it.

Not cool.

You can't trust someone who overtly lies.

To be fair, they're always "soft" lies (usually just lies about "feelings", or *why* she did something, and she seems to actually internalize it-- ie. she convinces herself that it's true), not "hard" lies (she hasn't lied about something she's done, yet)

But yeah I know it's still shitty

The reason that I don't push her on these things is because then she feels like I'm insecure and needy and stuff like that and I'd rather avoid that

There is a difference between being insecure and needy as opposed to demanding respect and not being a chump.

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What I gathered about your girlfriend:

1. Insecure.
2. Depressed(Bipolar?).
3. Pathological liar.

Three very bad traits in any partner. Depression by itself is subjective but if it's coupled with insecurities, lying and a lot of dodgy actions it's not a good thing as it's most likely pushing her to be more selfish and take on the mindset of being the victim thus excusing all the wrongs she does to you or others in her life.

I'm really confused about this whole ordeal, however... You say she doesn't want an open relationship(?) yet she's willing to have threesomes with you and your roomie regularly? Isn't that fairly open? Also, what's her stance on you fucking the roomie while she's away? Is that a no go or is she fine with that?

Your relationship seems messy as fuck. If she's screwing around why do you care if you're willing to give her permission anyway? Seems pretty stupid of you to break up with her if you're so willing to let her fuck other guys while she's overseas.

Honestly, given the kind of open relationship you seem to have anyway I would suggest turning a blind eye to it while she's away. She is away for, what, almost a year? And I have to say: Being in a relationship when you're living away for 6 months or more is the most fucking stupid of shit you could ever do. You either go on a break or have an open relationship because 9 times out of 10 you're going to fuck someone while your partner is away and if a girl comes across one of us chances are she's going to fuck them eventually. I think it's safe to say most people on here that aren't newbies have been in a situation where they've had even the most loyal of girlfriends suck on their love sticks whether they meant to play them or not.

Just stop asking questions or if you need to just be blunt, call her out on it and say "Look, you're really fucking weird lately and i'm not buying into your bullshit about hiding me from your family and what not. If you're keeping your options open while overseas then we need to talk about it. Like I said, if you want an open relationship while you're over there i'm open to that. When you come back we can discuss it some more whether we want to keep it open or more exclusive." Just get to the bottom of it but don't give her an ultimatum. Be prepared to just turn yourself off emotionally in so far as her fucking other people.

Best way to deal with a girlfriend who is about to cheat? Beat her to it and cheat on her first. Preferably a threesome with the other girl, to make sure your girlfriend finds out.

You've proven that asking her "what's up?" doesn't work because she gets defensive, closes up and refuses to talk. Cheating is your only way of maintaining control with a girl whose interest level in you is this low.

To me, the difference between "open" and not open would be if we're always both there or not. She's not cool with anything going on with the roomie while she's not there, so in that sense it's not "open". I've never really pushed for it though

It'll be a bit less than 4 months between when she went away, and when we meet up with her. We're only at the 1.5 month mark now

I guess overall I'm aiming for her to get a bit more respect for me (to answer your question about why I'm concerned, if I don't care if she fucks someone), and for her to gain some more interest in me. I figured if she cheats then she'll internalize the idea that "I did this because I don't care about my boyfriend" (or who knows, maybe it'll be a shit experience and it'll make her re-evaluate how good things are with me), but I'm not sure the best way to turn it around

If I do end up calling her out, should I mention the Tumblr post (which she has now deleted), and what should I do if she just denies everything?
Surely this would work against me because she'd then have a way to make me the "bad guy", the person who did the wrong thing, not her?

Communication is the most important part of every relationship.

So communicate with her. Present to her everything you've found with her social media shit, tell her what you're suspecting, and tell her that you want to have either an open relationship or you want to break up altogether in order to avoid the complications of her cheating on you. Ultimatums like this are usually a terrible idea, but when it comes to the topic of cheating sometimes its necessary.

You have an expensive trip planned? Well it's an expensive trip for her, too, then. You can't control what she does. If you have to give up the trip plans then you have to give up the trip plans.

This is one of the saddest threads I've read. Every typical relationship whether it's monogamous or open is built on trust. Even swingers must trust each other. You are fine with her cheating and lying and will do anything to keep her. The irony is that you will lose this chick as you've lost respect for yourself. No girl wants a man who doesn't respect himself.

+1

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The tumblr posts with the tone of "what does a girl have to do over here to get a hot guy to want to bang her" alone are enough to send her her walking papers. As to if she denied the posts if you confronted her on them, you saw them with your own two eyes.

This is just some hopeless shit... How do guys like this end up with 8s willing to have threesomes? I doubt this dude has any game by the sound of things and if he did he's all but lost it now and you can blame your relationship for that.

Grow up, grow a pair and put more value in yourself than with her. So fucking hopeless of you to be going on about this crap after all she's done.

Here's news for you: Women lie. They lie to lie about lying. Does that make sense? No! Does it have to? No! Because it fucking works on chumps. In manipulation you can rest on one simple truth: "People believe what they want to believe." If someone's confronting you with some shit you did and they're 99% certain and have evidence to back up their suspicions 99% once you deny it and keep denying that person will believe you. That 1% doubt will overcome what's as clear as day because they want to believe whatever makes them feel better. If that's believing the fact that it wasn't their boyfriend/girlfriend in those pictures fucking other guys and that it was "photoshopped"(Just giving an example here) they'll believe it once their partner denies it.

As long as you're a chump you'll believe anything a woman lies to you about. Grow the fuck up, stand on your own two feet and be a man. What do men do? Think logically. If the evidence stacks up then you've got your damn answer. What do you do when you have your answer? You decide what path you want to take. What do you do then? You follow that path.

Our trip is expensive mainly cause of the flights, but since she's already overseas and we're meeting her there, it's not expensive for her. Btw, she's the one that convinced us to go on the trip.

I would love to communicate with her, if she didn't make it so difficult. When I try and communicate about an issue, she puts me in a position where I'm either forced to act "beta" (ie. I'm going to be forced to say that I looked up her new Tumblr if I want the conversation to go anywhere). But I guess you're right, we do have to talk about it, I just need to be prepared to break up if it doesn't go well -- and I'm not sure I am at this stage

Also on the other hand, let's say I didn't act so "beta" in this situation and I never bothered looking for her new Tumblr and such. I wouldn't know about her wanting to sleep with people, and I wouldn't be worrying about all these things and so on. That's what she'd be thinking right now, so I don't know if all the respect is lost
Yeah that's something she couldn't deny, but I'm expecting something like "I just posted that out of boredom, I wouldn't really go looking for guys" or she'll just deflect the whole thing by going "omg, what are you doing looking up my new pages and stalking my posts, why would you do that". Total bullshit obviously, but it makes the conversation very difficult to have and even more difficult to direct in a constructive way
I had shitty game for the first 2 years of our relationship (which lead to a break in the middle), but since getting back together I've had pretty good game. It's been an uphill battle re-gaining respect after that and I've made some good progress, but unfortunately sometimes she reverts back to projecting that I'm a needy person, and when she acts in that way I do the right things like backing off and being 'busy', but it's hard to convince someone otherwise when they're projecting that onto you

So you've already got her excuse in mind... and you're going to buy it even though you know it's not true... Cause you know she simply "won't want to talk about it" or whatever.

Too bad. She's in a relationship. You realize you don't actually have to take this and be a chump, right? Free-will...

It's not like you went through her phone or violated her privacy. She posted it on the fucking internet.

Let me tell you what's happening here. This girl has been testing your masculinity and you have been failing really badly. Your actions have consistently taught her that bad behaviour has ZERO consequences. So of course she doesn't respect you.

You perceive your girlfriend is above you and you believe you are not worthy of her. This explains why your behaviour is so weak; you are worried that actually addressing the issue and showing her that you are prepared to walk away will mean she will dump you (your worst fear). Always be motivated by what you want (desire), not what you are afraid of losing (fear). If your girlfriend cannot provide you with the loyalty you are looking for, do the girl a favour and tell her. I broke up with a girl this time last year and told her it was purely because of her lies and disloyalty. She begged me to take her back, promised to change, offered me all sorts of sexual favours. Notice the power shift? Once you show a girl boundaries, she is less likely to stray. Feminine women crave masculinity. And if you can't provide it, she will look for it elsewhere.

Grow some balls and stop being such a pussy.

She posted it on the internet.
What is there to discuss with this person. She is trolling for cock behind your back.