Hey bros,

So been trying to game girl from work. The short version is I N-Closed her, organised to catch up after work and she ended up flaking, texted her again a week later she was very receptive. We caught up briefly to have a coffee. Went fairly well, she even agreed to come to my place to watch movies with me. Texted her again and she stopped replying to me, havnt heard anything since.

It confuses me because she was quite flirty, was getting strong IOI's from her and she seemed interested. Now she's done a complete 180.

Ever since I can remember I've always been extremely self conscience about the way I look, so any hint from rejection I get from a girl I always chalk it up to my looks. No matter the situation. And it does impact me a fair bit.

If I knew that she was physically attracted to me and it was something to do with my personality, my approach or that I didn't come across as a fun person or anything non-physical. I honestly would be able to move on and game other girls.

Anyone got any advice?

I bet on your brief coffee and movie night that you didn't escalate at all...

Correct?

You didn't make a move so she said "fuck this" and she's out.

If she came over to your place and left without being fucked, not only was she turned off extremely hard by that(seriously, why do you think she accepted in the first place?), but she also thought that either you are a wuss that is scared of getting what is literally in his platter, or gay.

Lol its easy for everyone to sit and say i bet this happened and shes thinking this but at the end of the day these things happen. Move on to the next one.

If you want someone to tell you whats wrong the only person who can is her???

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You do realize that if he actually asks for that information up front he pretty much blows it with her right? Even when you are in a relationship, girls are reluctant to say what's wrong, it's even more so to a guy that they are just dating. As for "these things happen" maybe it's true, but if he didn't escalate while they were at his place, it's his fault only. If there's something I've learned, is to leave to fate as little as possible. "What if"s are way worse than "No".

This, and what Charles said. You stated nothing about any escalation that may or may not have occurred when she came over to watch movies. Chances are strongly probable that this is the issue.

1. If the girl was acting fun and flirty, it's not your looks.

2. Sometimes you can do everything perfectly and the girl still flakes. It might be shit she has going on in her life, she has a bf she's having troubles with, who knows. But this will always happen. You can only minimize it.

3. When ya'll were being fun and flirty you should have also escalated and should be touching her. If you didn't do this it would have really helped your chances. If you are unsure how to escalate there are some great ideas around here. Routines and games that allow for extra contact very easily. But in general you should always be looking for excuses to high five, hold hands and hug. And if everything is going great and she is very receptive, go for the kiss.

Of course i know this. But i would rather not chase a girl thats flaked on me ? Its a waste of my time so i would rather be abrupt and ask if it was something ive done so in the future for my next ventures i dont make the same error. Simple Its how you learn when a teacher marks your tests they give you your results then go through where people went wrong. So i would notch it up as a lesson. You may not have done anything and shes just flaked which is understandable but i dont waste my time with that shit. Partly due to the amount of options and partly due to me making time for someone and them wasting it.

Time is one of the biggest expenses in the world.

_________________
You can fail all your life but still achieve more than those who did not try.

Looks really have nothing to do with it man. They really do not. I know people of fat ugly dudes that get laid out the ass. Just look up Patrice O'neal.. His girlfriend was hot as shit and he's a fat ugly motha that wasn't rich at all. Its all in the attitude bro. Its all in the attitude.

You have to carry yourself with a swagger that says " I can fuck you.. easily " and hot girls will look at you like " I can't believe this guy actually thinks he can fuck me " " Why is this dude looking like he knows he should be fucking me" . And ultimately they will submit to that energy if you can hold it through all the test.

Your attitude is the reason she backed out. You're attractive, you're probably cool/fun and what not, but you're attitude just isn't sexy bro. I can see it from this post. You're still looking for people to qualify you. You don't believe you're the shit yet and if you don't no one else is going to.

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If she went out on a few dates with you already, then you are clearly within her looks threshold. She's not gonna think "oh, he's cute I'll go out with him" then in a few days "nvm he's too ugly." That's how guys think. It probably has more to do with not escalating. It's an insult to women if you don't try to fuck them in a gentlemanly way.

My guess is she wasn't interested in the first place

She wanted banging because her hormones were up and you dropped the ball. Women like sex just as much as men but society says they should be indirect about it.

Going to a guy's place is pretty much the behavioral equivalent of her screaming "fuck me!".

Granted, in most cases yes, but I'm skeptical in this scenario. Read the OPs other threads on this girl on the number close was indirect. Work game/social circle game is different and has more leeway to fuck up that cold approach, because you don't have to escalate as quickly and it's in the girls best interest to see you again or even be polite to you (so no awkwardness when she sees you again). So from the OP's number close which was indirect and the way she is not replying, my guess is she wasnt interested, he pushed the get together as a casual thing, suggested the movie as a casual thing and she doesn't see him that way. Either she wasn't interested or he said or did something crazy that night. And while not fuckin her is a bad play, it's not big enough for her to go cold like that when they work together.

Thanks for the responses guys. So just to be clear, she agreed to a movie night (once when we had coffee, again over text) but then she went funny a few days later, stopped replying to my texts etc. If she did come over I would be escalating for sure, most girls know what movies is code word for.

Also even though we work for same company . We're in different areas altogether and it's a big company.

I really need to move past this looks thing. If she wasn't physically attracted she probably wouldn't have been receptive to me in the first place right?