I have some deep seeded inner game issues from abuse as a very young child, including being shaken as a newborn with a broken collar bone. I can remember being less than a year old and crawling around the floor of my room... I remember a lot of things I dont want to remember, and it still bothers me... I am almost 30. I have learning disabilities, and struggle at college. Because of my learning disabilities I can't learn fast enough to hold a job, and because of behavioral problems and triggers, I cant really hold one anyway. I would love to take care of these issues, but I cant make enough money for help. I struggle to make enough for food and gas.

I have been fairly lucky compared to others in my life, I inherited part of a house that I live in now, and a car. I have the house to myself. Its ironic, I think, I have a whole house to myself, live near a renown party college, and I just never go out and try to socialize cause I am afraid to really. Certainly couldnt bring a girl back to my place, let alone make a friend. I also got lucky with a hedge fund I inherited, and kinda live off hedge funding. I dont really make enough to go out though. If I ever have extra money, I spend it on a call girl, cause I figure thats the only way Ill ever get laid anyway. I think about killing myself often. Theres not really a place for me in the world. I am not even sad at the thought any more, I am just tired of life.

I dont socialize, or have any friends. I spend my days playing video games at free wifi places, watching movies at my house where I have no internet or TV. I go to college two days a week, but I dont really talk to anyone. I look young enough to look like a college freshman but I still cant talk to anyone. Everyone tries to tell me its so easy, just say something, but no one understands how hard it is for ME. I dont trust anyone. I dont even trust myself. They tell me I gotta have love to give love, but if thats the case, I am certainly fucked.

So, I dont know where to go or where to start. I read things on here all the time, but I have no idea what anyone is talking about, I dont socialize so I am not sure what the context of these things are. I am mostly here wondering if its even possible for me to get anywhere with this.

See a therapist bro. There is nothing we can do to help you. This goes way beyond women, good luck.

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USER HAS BEEN BANNED FOR REPEATEDLY IGNORING MOD WARNINGS AND MULTIPLE RULE VIOLATIONS

Chapelle- Going to shoot it to you REAL straight
You have massive control issues.
Your ‘game’ is to control people by making them feel sorry for you. Then when they try to ‘help’ you, you try and control them.

Get over your childhood. There’s other guys who’ve had worse childhoods than yours on this site and your childhood is probably worse than you stating.

As for learning PUA. About 5% of guys who enter the game ever get really good at it.
It takes a lot of work. Facing up to a lot of fears. Doing a lot of inner game work. It’s not for everyone.

Peeble gave you great advice. Go get some counseling. Find a therapist, psychologist who understands you. But more than that…you need to admit your problems and want to improve you life. I don’t see the want to improve your life part.
If you need more money and live by a college…why don’t you rent out rooms? Get more money, make more friends, etc. All positive benefits.

But I think you would answer with a bunch of negativety. I’m antisocial, I don’t get along with others, excuse, excuse, excuse….

Man up…

First, definitely find a therapist. There are therapists who will give income dependent rates, and at least I think social workers and such that will work cheap. Maybe try to find any kind of program to help pay for it. I'm wondering if the college might have a program... like I know dentists usually work on people while in school for practice.
This is a really, really good idea. You'll be able to interview and reject anyone you don't like, and you'll end up having friends. Plus the extra money will help you with some of your other issues.

Go to work on yourself first

Think of this. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow%27s ... y_of_needs

The strange thing about the hierarchy of needs is that men, sometimes, need the top two levels before they get the third.

Hmm... interesting read, thank you that was helpful.