So I hit a bar every Thursday with some friends, and a few months ago a new waitress started. After a couple weeks it seemed like she was being extra flirty with me... like beyond normal tip-seeking-waitress flirty. All fine and good, but then the next week one of my friends showed up and decided she was being especially flirty with him.

Now, I never actually saw her be overly flirty with my friend, but I have noticed her with other guys at the bar. Once I saw her hugging some guy who just said "gimme a hug" and I've noticed the male bartender hugging her for instance.

In the meantime I've just tried to get her talking and learn more about her, and she's seemed to get even more flirty with me. For instance last week she would take my order then run her hand down my arm as she walked away. Towards the end of the evening we were sitting at a table checking textx, and she came up behind the two of us and I swear she pressed her boob into my back.

So at that point I'm pretty much thinking it's time to ask her out, and had resolved to do so this week...

Then, this week she didn't wait on our table or even check on us. She did wave and smile as she walked past a couple times but it's the first time she hasn't checked our table at all. So not sure what's up with that... maybe it's too late and I missed my opportunity? I saw her sitting at one table towards the end of the night (before the normal end of her shift) so maybe it's because she had some friends there?

The other complication: I looked her up on Facebook, and it looks very much like she has a boyfriend. That's one of the reasons I haven't already made a move...

So any interpretations on this?

My friend is suggesting we show up another night (like tomorrow) to talk to her... but not sure about that especially after basically feeling snubbed tonight.

It could be she's doing it for tips. I'd do the same thing if I were her.

With this behavior she probably has from 100 to 400 hundred men ask her out each year. Would probably be good to come up with a way to get her out in a manner that DHVs you over all the rest. Also she has a BF so there's that situation to think about whether you want involvement w/ her.

I wouldn't feel snubbed re: her behavior; she probably doesn't know she did it; she has a flirtatious persona around the bar according to what you've said.
She did. There's no mistaking when this happens ; - )

A rub on your arm or something like that literally means nothing to a hot bartender. If she is attractive then she knows the ropes and she knows that the difference between her flirting with the customers and her just pouring drinks could equal hundreds of dollars every week.

If you want her attention you need to act differently than the other guys in there. When she brushes up against you call her out on it "damn, first you try to get me drunk, now you're hitting on me, what kind of bartender are you?" all in a playful manner. If you do actually get time to chat with her, ask her what she likes to do when she's not at work, get her out of her "hired gun" persona. Then get the number.

Something else you need to do if you can pull it off, call up two or three of your hottest female friends and get them to hang out with you at her bar. Be fun and flirty with them. At the beginning of the night pay very little attention to the bar tender, then slowly shift your attention.

Been here before mate here's my mindset going in. I don't give a fuck if she's a waitress I don't give a fuck about ioi's if she blinks while she's taking my order I assume she wants me, and if I want her I turn my game up and I get her. If she has a bf oh well move on still be cool with her still keep your game up because odds are that relationship isn't gonna last forever, and when it runs its course then you take her provided you haven't met someone else.

I used to try to decipher between flirting and tip hunting now I just go in, and take what I want its far easier with that mindset, and its far far easier to pick up waitresses then you think she's just a girl.

Believe me I'm fully aware that bartenders/waitresses flirt for tips. This just goes beyond anything I've seen from a hired gun before... at least outside of a strip club.

I have been talking to her, she does stick around the table a bit and I do talk to her about outside of work stuff. And last night one of my hotter female friends did come out, and brought a cute girl who used to work at the bar actually. I probably should have flirted with her more...

I can probably incorporate more "calling her out" on stuff though. I already tease her about stuff but haven't specifically called her out on the flirty stuff, so maybe that'll help.

So I guess the next question is, should I just show up on a different night to talk to her or wait until next week? My friend thinks we should go tonight... but I'm thinking I'd end up looking needy or something if I went to see her right after she didn't talk to us. Plus it's Friday so she'd probably be too busy to talk anyway...

Well, she has really small boobs... but yeah, it was still definitely her boob. My friend thought it might have been an accident, but she actually pressed into me instead of pulling back like it was an accident.