this is so awkward, promise you wont judge me.

There is an HB9 that either works or lives around my house. In the past month, I have seen her twice on the sidewalk, both times walking towards me. Picking her up never even entered my mind because "I have no chance"

so the first time, I played what you might call a prank or game. When she was coming towards me, I purposely got in her way. she tried to go to her left, I tried to go to my right. she tried to go to her right, so did I. left right left right like 5 times. Then a few days later I ran into her again and did the same thing. This time, she said "you are so weird, why do you keep doing that" not in a playful way, she was angry. I didn't say anything and just passed by.

Today, I saw this blonde girl sitting outside a juice place, having a juice. I didn't recognize that it's the same girl. So I went up to her and said "my mom said I have to talk to a girl today" she said "are you the guy that keeps getting in my way?" I said "yes" she said "why do you keep doing that? do you have problems talking to people?" I said "yes, I am socially awkward" she said "well, we all have something. you just have say excuse me and be polite to other people" This is not the entire conversation, but it's all I can remember.

Then she got up and started to leave and extended her hand. I shook her hand and said "I have never touched a woman before. This feels so good"

So basically, I became this awkward character, I guess a stronger version of the real me.

she has huge boobs, perfect ass, nice teeth, nice hair. I wish I could see her naked, I am honestly willing to pay $500 just to see her naked with no physical contact. and I am poor, $500 means a lot to me.

The next time I see her, can I tell her "last time when I shook your hand, I went home and masturbated using the same hand, so it's kind of like you gave me a hand job" or what should I do? can I suggest paying for seeing her naked? I would totally pay $500.

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I have not failed 10,000 times. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work. - Edison

I can't tell you how hard this made me laugh. The creepy factor shot through the roof, lol.

You're my hero, lmao.