No spark after sex?



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 Post subject: No spark after sex?
PostPosted: Mon Oct 20, 2014 8:26 am 
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Couple of days after a sex date (2nd date), I get this weird text... My initial thoughts: "i suck in bed???" it cant be it, im sizable ironically she even complimented me on both size and performance. She did text me the same night saying "she made it home" but Ive pretty much ignored it. The next day she intiated a new conversation asking how my day was which I also ignored only replying at night to not have a covnersation. The next morning I get this text???


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 Post subject: Re: No spark after sex?
PostPosted: Mon Oct 20, 2014 8:40 am 
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Not much info was provided re: the night you hooked up. Maybe you were giving off relationship vibes and she wasn't into it; maybe she just wasn't feeling it for whatever reason; maybe this is their system: they test drive a dude and if he passes they pass him along to a friend j/k.

She isn't down but she's passing you off to her friend. I'd go for it.

Maybe there was an issue with your ignoring her texts and she thought you weren't into it.


Last edited by oceanx on Mon Oct 20, 2014 9:08 am, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: No spark after sex?
PostPosted: Mon Oct 20, 2014 8:58 am 
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Not much info was provided re: the night you hooked up. Maybe you were giving off relationship vibes and she wasn't into it; maybe she just wasn't feeling it for whatever reason; maybe this is their system: they test drive a dude and if he passes they pass him along to a friend j/k.

She isn't down but she's passing you off to her friend. I'd go for it.

It was literally a movie night (ive invited her over for a cuddle), we were ripping off at the bad film production and questionable acting. She got closer to snuggle and I wrestled her; her panties were off within minutes.

Relationship vibes? I might of said - Looks like I may be keeping that thing (refering to her ass).

I did eventually reply with "ok bye"

She followed with a few more texts explaining how we had sex too soon, and she much rather get to know and date the person first blah blah

What is her response even based on? Lack of attraction, emotional chemistry? My lack of invesment?


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 Post subject: Re: No spark after sex?
PostPosted: Tue Oct 21, 2014 5:57 pm 
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This is basically a rejection.. about as clear as one you can get. It's unusual after sex (very unusual actually, even if you SUCK in bed) but it does happen from time to time. I'd just play it off with a cool, no prob, maybe I'll hit her up sometime and then decide what to do. Reconnect with this girl in a week or two with the famous; "Hey stranger" line.

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 Post subject: Re: No spark after sex?
PostPosted: Tue Oct 21, 2014 6:26 pm 
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Maybe she's just being honest. ASD. You slept with her on 2nd date and she feels like a slut. Also, when she got home ok and you ignored that message, she felt like wow, I just slept with this guy and he doesn't give a fuck. Then you waited to text her back at night. You didn't manage it correctly and she saw signs that you don't care. The flirting/fun dating phase is over, and you're next invite wouldve probably been to your place again "to watch a movie." She could read by your actions how it was going to go, and she rightly jumped ship.


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 Post subject: Re: No spark after sex?
PostPosted: Tue Oct 21, 2014 6:43 pm 
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"Lets meet up over drinks and talk about it"

Then bring her back to your place for a movie, lmao.

If she wasn't interested she wouldn't pass her friend off on you. It makes no sense.

Either try to get her back in bed (if you enjoyed it) or take her up on the offer and meet the friend. Dont worry yourself over why shes doing what shes doing. Girls dont always make sense.


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 Post subject: Re: No spark after sex?
PostPosted: Tue Oct 21, 2014 8:33 pm 
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Maybe she's just being honest. ASD. You slept with her on 2nd date and she feels like a slut. Also, when she got home ok and you ignored that message, she felt like wow, I just slept with this guy and he doesn't give a fuck. Then you waited to text her back at night. You didn't manage it correctly and she saw signs that you don't care. The flirting/fun dating phase is over, and you're next invite wouldve probably been to your place again "to watch a movie." She could read by your actions how it was going to go, and she rightly jumped ship.
Neo is probably right on que with this responce.
+1


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 Post subject: Re: No spark after sex?
PostPosted: Tue Oct 21, 2014 8:38 pm 
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Maybe she's just being honest. ASD. You slept with her on 2nd date and she feels like a slut. Also, when she got home ok and you ignored that message, she felt like wow, I just slept with this guy and he doesn't give a fuck. Then you waited to text her back at night. You didn't manage it correctly and she saw signs that you don't care. The flirting/fun dating phase is over, and you're next invite wouldve probably been to your place again "to watch a movie." She could read by your actions how it was going to go, and she rightly jumped ship.
If she really was thinking "This guy slept with me and doesn't care at all!" She wouldn't be trying to hook him up with a friend.

I think she might feel a bit guilty and maybe is thinking "well if I set him up with a friend then I make sure that I can't sleep with him anymore because I probably shouldn't".

I think at the end of the day if he could get her back out and back to his place she'd be up for fun.


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 Post subject: Re: No spark after sex?
PostPosted: Tue Oct 21, 2014 10:26 pm 
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Maybe she's just being honest. ASD. You slept with her on 2nd date and she feels like a slut. Also, when she got home ok and you ignored that message, she felt like wow, I just slept with this guy and he doesn't give a fuck. Then you waited to text her back at night. You didn't manage it correctly and she saw signs that you don't care. The flirting/fun dating phase is over, and you're next invite wouldve probably been to your place again "to watch a movie." She could read by your actions how it was going to go, and she rightly jumped ship.
If she really was thinking "This guy slept with me and doesn't care at all!" She wouldn't be trying to hook him up with a friend.

I think she might feel a bit guilty and maybe is thinking "well if I set him up with a friend then I make sure that I can't sleep with him anymore because I probably shouldn't".

I think at the end of the day if he could get her back out and back to his place she'd be up for fun.

How does her trying to hook him up with her friend = she's interested?

Looks like she's being honest. She'd prefer to date someone for a while before sex, as she said, things moved too fast for her, but her friend may like him more so she's hooking him up. She likes him, yes, but maybe he's not what she's looking for. If she were looking for a fuck buddy, it wouldnt be an issue. But ignoring her when she got home and the next day is just going to make her feel used. Most guys change/get lazy after having sex. The dates, flirtatious messages and pretending to give a fuck go out the window and become "come over to my place to chill tonight" or "I've been busy, come over." Girls know this. So when you sleep with a chick quickly, who wasn't looking for just a f buddy, you gotta keep energy level up and display that you like her for more than the sex. Her friend, is more likely the more casual dating kinda girl, hence she's suggesting it. Maybe the sex was bad, maybe it's a shit test...all I know is what OP has said...he didn't handle the next day correctly and triggered buyers remorse.

I'd say OP can play it and go for the friend. Free date, escalate the same way and get laid again. Or if he really liked this girl, could invite her to something casual, build a connection for a couple of dates and then go for sex again. Or he could trick her into something casual, fuck her again, but he's gonna run into "I don't think we should hang out again" text message right after once she sees that sex is all there is.


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 Post subject: Re: No spark after sex?
PostPosted: Tue Oct 21, 2014 10:32 pm 
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Maybe she's just being honest. ASD. You slept with her on 2nd date and she feels like a slut. Also, when she got home ok and you ignored that message, she felt like wow, I just slept with this guy and he doesn't give a fuck. Then you waited to text her back at night. You didn't manage it correctly and she saw signs that you don't care. The flirting/fun dating phase is over, and you're next invite wouldve probably been to your place again "to watch a movie." She could read by your actions how it was going to go, and she rightly jumped ship.
If she really was thinking "This guy slept with me and doesn't care at all!" She wouldn't be trying to hook him up with a friend.

I think she might feel a bit guilty and maybe is thinking "well if I set him up with a friend then I make sure that I can't sleep with him anymore because I probably shouldn't".

I think at the end of the day if he could get her back out and back to his place she'd be up for fun.

How does her trying to hook him up with her friend = she's interested?

Looks like she's being honest. She'd prefer to date someone for a while before sex, as she said, things moved too fast for her, but her friend may like him more so she's hooking him up. She likes him, yes, but maybe he's not what she's looking for. If she were looking for a fuck buddy, it wouldnt be an issue. But ignoring her when she got home and the next day is just going to make her feel used. Most guys change/get lazy after having sex. The dates, flirtatious messages and pretending to give a fuck go out the window and become "come over to my place to chill tonight" or "I've been busy, come over." Girls know this. So when you sleep with a chick quickly, who wasn't looking for just a f buddy, you gotta keep energy level up and display that you like her for more than the sex. Her friend, is more likely the more casual dating kinda girl, hence she's suggesting it. Maybe the sex was bad, maybe it's a shit test...all I know is what OP has said...he didn't handle the next day correctly and triggered buyers remorse.

I'd say OP can play it and go for the friend. Free date, escalate the same way and get laid again. Or if he really liked this girl, could invite her to something casual, build a connection for a couple of dates and then go for sex again. Or he could trick her into something casual, fuck her again, but he's gonna run into "I don't think we should hang out again" text message right after once she sees that sex is all there is.
I'm not saying that's what it definitely means. I'm saying that it's possible that in her head shes saying "let me set him up with her, then he's off limits to me so I won't sleep with him again.

If he wants to go for the friend, then he should, I don't think it's a bad idea. I'm just saying keep it friendly with this girl because chances are, sooner or later, she'll be down to screw again, and in the mean time it seems like shes ok introducing you to her friends. Which is GREAT for you, it shows you are preselected and aren't a lunatic.


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 Post subject: Re: No spark after sex?
PostPosted: Wed Oct 22, 2014 3:57 pm 
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Wow that's pretty strange.

In my humble opinion you might not have sucked in bed but certainly the chemistry must have been off during the event. In my limited reference points I have always found a woman usually gets hooked or not after the deed is done. So if she didn't get hooked, I take accountability to things not going right.

That's my 2 cents.

But at least she is introducing you to her friend Sarah!

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Quote:
Couple of days after a sex date (2nd date), I get this weird text... My initial thoughts: "i suck in bed???" it cant be it, im sizable ironically she even complimented me on both size and performance. She did text me the same night saying "she made it home" but Ive pretty much ignored it. The next day she intiated a new conversation asking how my day was which I also ignored only replying at night to not have a covnersation. The next morning I get this text???


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 Post subject: Re: No spark after sex?
PostPosted: Wed Oct 22, 2014 4:26 pm 
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Quote:

How does her trying to hook him up with her friend = she's interested?
Exactly. I'm sorry, but I disagree with most of what is said in this thread. I think this is a VERY CLEAR rejection. Sure, you can get a girl back who rejected you especially if you have had sex with her before, but there is very little to read into here other than this being a rejection and her saying she is no longer interested.

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