You've agreed to take a HB10 out for dinner and drinks and she's agreed. I dont want to pay for her for 2 reasons. 1. I can't afford it and 2. I want to show her that I have the balls to ask her to pay for herself until I close.

At what point and in what way do I tell her? My problem is that this girl is genuinely a 10 and I have a feeling like most 10s no guy would ever have told her this in her life.

Thanks for any help.

Did you think that she was going to say no? I can't figure out why you would ask her out to dinner and you can't afford it.

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mpuaforum.proboards.com

I can afford to pay for myself.

Is it possible to be straightforward with her? Or is it that you're worried that when she finds out that you can't pay for her she won't want to go out with you?

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mpuaforum.proboards.com

Frame it as a totally normal thing. "It's 2014, women being = to men, etc.." Frame it not that you CAN'T pay but that you don't WANT to pay.
Tell her before you pick her up. "Ofcourse we'll pay our own way; it's only fair :p we don't know eachother very well yet"
This isn't a problem at all; it is actually a great opportunity to drastically separate yourself from the league of dudes who will do anything for her. Any time you have a chance to separate yourself from them, take the opportunity.

If she rejects this idea, then thank yourself because you've just saved yourself a lot of hassle from a woman who just wanted a free meal.

Better yet, skip the fucking meal and just hang out w/ her somewhere, go kino, escalate, close. Meals are great with women you're already having sex with.

SMFH... what the fuck is up with this stupidity? IF you can't afford to take her out to dinner, don't invite her to dinner. Seriously... NOT PAYING DOES NOT WORK. It makes you look like a cheap bastard. If money is an issue, do shit that doesn't involve money! Seriously, you think its a turn on because no one has ever done that to her I bet no one has ever had the balls to take a shit on her face also, but you think that's a turn on?

Not paying when you invite a girl out on a date is horrible advice that is constantly perpetuated on PUA boards by a bunch of people who just try to rationalize their behavior and pretending it has nothing to do with the fact they either cannot afford to pay or that they too cheap to pay.

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http://www.joshsway.com -- dating, online dating, fitness, fashion, and more...

Inviting her out for dinner before you've banged her is the problem. I usually just invite them for out for a drink and maybe buy the first couple of rounds then say in jokey way right its your turn. I've never had a girl once not by me a drink in return. It avoids this whole entire situation you have put yourself in.

I'd skip the traditional dinner date. Rather will try to go and do some fun together - play game, like pool or darts, or go to some dance lesson together - something like sales party. Ideally go to place where people know you in a good way, that way this will increase your value.

And about who should pay you can make a bet with her and tell her if she beats you at pool (or whatever game) that you will pay if not she will pay etc. Thats fair isn't it.

I don't really see anything interesting for 2 people that don't know each other well to go to dinner to talk to.

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"Tell the world what you intend to do, but first show it."

Yeah, dinner dates aren't great to start with.

In either event, it's usually not a big deal. Either a girl is interested in seeing you or she isn't. The date has little to do with it, provided you're not doing something awful. Just swap it out for something else. If she says no, then she was planning on going with you paying, mostly as an ego boost.

I kind of agree on not spending a lot of money on a date, but *mostly* because it gets girls to go out with you who are not really into you. She's mostly going on the date, and you're just the object there picking up the tab.

However, paying for a date or a drink, etc, does not kill existing attraction. That's a myth created by socially retarded "PUA"s who didn't understand the concept of a woman enjoying a man showering her with things. It doesn't mean she would get with him if only he hadn't done that. It just doesn't get him anywhere good. You can't buy sexual attraction.

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RSDTyler

The whole girls like to use guys for nice dinner dates etc. and not put out is for the most part, a myth. Most of the guys who say this are just parroting things they heard and read on the web and haven't actually taken girls out to nice dinners on first dates. Well I have, and dinner dates are very successful for me. They aren't for everyone. but for me they are very successful at getting lays. Sure, you risk a girl just using you for dinner, but this is the exception, not the rule. Also, if you ask most girls if they would go out with a guy they aren't particularly into just for a nice dinner and they will say no. Furthermore, a lot of times even the gold digger girl who is supposedly just using you for dinner will STILL put out!

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http://www.joshsway.com -- dating, online dating, fitness, fashion, and more...

I have nothing against spending money on a date. I look at money as a tool. If throwing cash at something makes things easier, go for it.

However, many of my friends have gone on dates with a guy they were not even remotely into because it was a fun date. Concerts, theme parks, charity events, even a week long cruise in one case. Their justification was simple, he didn't explicitly ask them with "romantic"(sexual) intentions.

And I don't even have gold digging or especially vain friends. Those girls are much worse about it.

I believe you can tell the difference between women who are interested in you and ones who are not. Your good experience with taking girls on expensive dinner dates owes a great deal to your ability to screen women. Most guys do not have that skill.

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RSDTyler

This is all fair.. and I most definitely agree that the "fun/creative" date is a big mistake for the exact reason you mention: girls are enjoying the date due to the activity and NOT due to the company. Could be it is a function of my screening skills; I hadn't really considered that, though I will say most of my friends who take girls out to dinners don't seem to run into many obvious gold diggers either. Then again, dinner dates aren't for everyone; I'll be the first to admit that.

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http://www.joshsway.com -- dating, online dating, fitness, fashion, and more...

I think the whole gold digger date comes from taking girls to dinners OUT OF THEIR PRICE LEAGUE. If the girl is broke or has a lower paying job, and you're offering a nice dinner, yes, you may be getting used. However, if the girl has a good paying career, she's not getting dressed and going to eat with you to save herself pocket change. Key to not getting used, is to make the date something she could and probably would pay for herself if she was just in the mood to do it. You can take a girl to a 5 star expensive restaurant; just make sure she's the type of girl who would typically go to that restaurant.

Dinner dates typically aren't good for cold approach game first dates, just because many women are not that comfortable on the first meeting and you have to build alot on a first date (from cold approach). You can take a woman you see regularly like at work or social circle to dinner and it's fine, because you've known each other for a while and will see each other again. For cold approach, you kinda have to accomplish more in the first date, because if she's relatively good looking, you have to stand out to get a second date. A simple dinner date isn't good because it's mostly conversation and one venue, less chance for touch and playfulness.

Nice to have a rational conversation about the dinner date (usually they just devolve into insults and cursing). You make a good point re: knowing your audience. I'm in NYC where most of the women I date are at least somewhat successful (and where there are plenty of much richer men than me) so worrying about being used is an afterthought. When I lived in south florida there was more risk of this, but I still didn't seem to run into it much.

As for cold approaches (and even online dating) 1st dates, I actually disagree. A dinner date could be great because it has strong screening properties: If they agree, then they are probably more into you than if they would only agree to meet for quick drinks. It's investment .. she has to invest more in a dinner date, and if she is willing to do it, that's a good thing. In terms of seating, you have to know your venues.. always go to a place where you can sit at an L shape, the tables are very small, or you can eat at the bar next to each other.

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http://www.joshsway.com -- dating, online dating, fitness, fashion, and more...

This.