Hey guys, i hope Im in the right topic! I know one of the rules in another topic was no ex gf shit but didnt see that in General rules. Anyways, this may be a long one but I really need help. trying to get back with my ex which may seem stupid but keep reading please.
We dated for 2 years and she is 4 years older than me but I have lots of experience in the older women department. She also has a daughter who is 11 and we got along great. lots of love but there was always a little bit of fighting,she got jealous easily but i tried not to ever make her feel that way. She (like most women around 30) wanted to move quicker than myself, move in after a year and have lots of family days and what not.I wasnt ready but ultimately we broke up because i had only met her daughter a handful of times in the almost two years together. Not really my fault as her and I rarely got to see each other when we both switched jobs, twice a week if we were lucky, so it was hard to organize days to spend together with her daughter.
now, the break up was supposed to be a break only. within a week she wanted to get back together but i felt i needed more time alone to see how it played out. Things were said that confused the situation and eventually I wanted to get back together. She said she needed more time now, it didnt take me long to realize that she was seeing someone else. I dropped hints at her that i knew yet she still avoided it and technically lied until a few weeks ago. She finally told me and i took it rather well. She even thanked me for it. A week after that i realized who it was she was seeing and i flipped,not on her as she still doesnt realize i know.
A few weeks after her and i first hooked up there was some confusion on our title and she ended up sleeping with another guy, a douchebag actually, we werent dating so that was ok i guess. we ran into each other a few weeks after that and hooked up again and started dating (she ditched the other guy no problems). Now this is the same guy she is seeing!!! drug dealer cheater guy, I had my bad days years ago with drugs etc and now i consider myself doing well. It bthers me she is with him. could she be doing it because she knows i would hate her to date him? they are going on dates with their kids as they both have a daughter, I see it on facebook, I dont want to delete her but may be the next step. Last week i told her i needed more time to be friends and she took that hard on the phone, she cried the whole time, I was delaying my responses to her all week and she wanted to talk, we had still talked everyday after the break up until this point.
So this is the no contact part but one question is do i delete her from FB? she keeps liking my posts and it irritates me a little. She has been relatively good at not posting one pic of him and her. They arent official yet either though.I know she loves me but i cant be friends with her. especailly because of her choice in scumbag. Any other advice on how to play this part of the game? Thanx so much and sorry for the length!!

This isn't a very good question for pick up artists bro, this is one you have to sort out for yourself. If I were your best friend, I would tell you to hard next her and go meet other girls. She is a wreck, dude. She has a daughter, she is seeing other dudes, but she supposedly cares a lot about you? Seems pretty messed up to me.

Do you make good money or something? Girls like this are just dying to strap someone successful down for marriage. You should stay away from this one bro.

It's one thing to be just starting off and for her to have other guys, it's another completely for her to be seeing other guys months into the relationship after she said she wanted to move in with you.

Fact: She's not 100% invested in you.

You deserve someone who is going to be 100% invested in you bro.

oh sorry i may have explained some of this wrong as i ranted on dude. she never cheated on me or anything. she thinks i dont want the same thing as her, i wasnt sure if i was ready for all that but after you lose something oyu had sometimes it outs things in perspective. I am not getting any younger and we had a great relationship. I am the opposite of making goo money, i have a house but not the greatest job so i owuld never attract a gold digger. She is definitely not that kind of woman anyways. i know her very well. She gives every sign she still loves me a ton, she wants to stay friends but thats unrealistic. This is her rebound from me im sure, I am doing the no contact thing and am working very hard on myself. Ive read a bit on how to get an ex back if the break up may have been a mistake.so I am talking to other women but not interested in any of them for anything but sex.

I just dont know what to do about the no contact thing now, how long do i wait and do i wait for her to contact me? just very confused i guess.

Good clarification, I am in a similar situation with an ex of mine, we ended about two months ago, and it didn't end well. I am going no-contact, and you should too.

No-contact is risky, no doubt, but it leads to higher attraction. If she cares that much about you, she is going to wonder about you. She will probably think about you every day, and she may contact you. When she contacts you, this changes the frame from you chasing her, to her chasing you, which leads to higher attraction for you.

I wouldn't however ignore her if she contacts you. That defeats the purpose of no-contact. Take your time in responding back-within 24 hours generally is acceptable.

There is a good chance this other guy is going to fuck up, so be ready for that, and take her as your lover, not her friend.

well glad to hear im not the only one.Mine ended about three months ago. Sucks for you it didnt end well though. was it bad enough there may not be any reconciliation? no contact is the way to go, and i know she is wondering about me every day becasue we broke up for mature reasons, no reason to hate each other which makes it harder. it drives me nuts when she likes my posts though, if i block her i feel like ill be out of her mind or she will be furious. I wont probably wont ever contact her but if she sends a text my way i would respond but not in a hurry. do you have your ex on social media still?

These type of women will drain your soul.

Sad thing is no matter how much advice they give you you will still end up doing what you think is right which in many cases is the exact opposite of what you should be doing.


I have been thru a very similar situation as you. Only difference is that i have 2 kids instead of 1 and i am there biological father. Also been with baby mama for 9 years.

Unfortunately for me i dint listen and learned the hard way.

Fortunate for you i am going to give you a secret if you really want her back. You probably will not have the cojones to do this but it is the only way to even have a remote chance of getting her back. I know you will come up with 20 thousands excuses why you should not do this but like i mentioned before it is the only way.

You want her back??? ok its real simple: NO CONTACT FROM EVERY SOCIAL MEDIA. DONT LOG IN TO FACEBOOK DURING NO CONTACT.

AND THE MOST IMPORTANT THING OF ALL IS FTOW FUCK TEN OTHER WOMEN!!!!

well there you have it. That is the secret formula to getting her back

I helped a guy get within inches of getting his ex girl back in this post we-split-up-she-s-texting-me-like-she-m ... 19608.html

If he would of listened he would of had her. Go check it out. It'll help.

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thanks guys!!!! I have done really well with not contacting her, i never like her statuses. She likes mine and its driving me crazy!! I mean i should be able to post on my own fb without being reminded of her. Dont mean to sound like a pussy but i still really love her, she loves me too. I have slept with two women since the break up but definitely am not interested in them romantically. So i should not post on social media or should i block her? she would be pissed im sure. Also she has posted several things as of late that were clearly directed at me, sounds cliche but i know they were! Being single makes fb so much more fun so ittl suck not logging on if this is the only option. Eddie F Im checking out the link now thanks!

Hey man, i read alot of that link. I made some of the regular early mistakes after the break up like using my feelings and telling her i loved her etc. I quickly came to my senses though, there was a cuople weeks of this.
finally i started responding a few hours after her texts and one day i didnt respond for 5 hours and she sent three texts. her final one was more of a fuck you and stated if i didnt want to be friends than "whatever". I called her that night and said i needed time to be friends and i didnt want to talk to her in the time being,she cried the whole time.
I however did not let her know that i was aware she was dating the one person i didnt want her to,that was very hard. I dont want to let her know this got to me deeply.She continued to click like on almost everything i posted on fb . She started posting pics of her daughte and his but none of him. I continued posting on fb but yetserday i started my month of no facebooking. But i went on to scroll and came across a pic titled date night and they werent in the pic but i showed what their date consisted of. after that her first pic of him!!!!! i feel like i should hate her because she mustve though that by dating him there would be no reconciliation or even remote friendship[. i want to make her feel like us not even commnicating at all is her fault, but i wont.
I unfollowed her on fb so i dont have to see her posts, she would not know that though so she is posting them nonetheless.I feel like maybe this started with her as a game cause she knew i would hate her dating this guy, she took the break up very hard and obviuosly needed a rebound. Is this too far gone??
I guess my question is, in your opinion why do you think she has acted this way? could she have read up on make psych and started a game or played the game back with me? thanks so much man!

Stop thinking you can hide something. Women are intuitive they read and listen to our tones and energy more than our actual words. So when you say " she didn't know that though" you are wrong. She did know. You have to develop yourself to behave as you would if everyone was always watching.

If you want to get deeper into this PM me. And we'll see what we can work out.

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I just want to say I have read this thread a couple times now over the last year or so - the entire thing.

It's a work of art until the OP fell apart... Props to Eddie.

Serious case of one it is ! when i split with my ex over 2 years ago when i was an average guy i was heartbroken then i trained my mind to not give a flying fuck about what anyone thinks of me, i fucked multiple woman and moved on. She still texts me to this day claiming to be friends but trying to bring up all the good times we had. Reading between the lines she knew you hated this guy, she knew you would see him on her facebook at the end of the day shes dating a chump who is a drug dealer and a fucktard so she'll get hurt and realise how much you ment. Shes trying to get your attention by using this guy and your doing mighty fine to not freak out and i commend you for it. So i would just do what eddie says but first sit back have a beer and realise lifes great no matter what way the rollercoaster goes.

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You can fail all your life but still achieve more than those who did not try.

Thanks bro.

Someone should leave a comment on it to throw it back into circulation. I think more men could use some of what it has to offer.

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Ill fling a comment on it. i just sat and read all 13 pages over and hour. Some really nice lessons and a great understanding of woman psychology and how manipulative they are. I have to commend how far he came though was really good from him.

I learned every lesson that he avoided before he failed. The bitch broke my heart and had me running after her like a dick. but im glad because i learned all those lessons back then and ill never do it again .

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You can fail all your life but still achieve more than those who did not try.

first i need to thank everyone on this thread! you guys take the time out of yur busy lives to help guys out!!! thank you thank you!
I thought maybe she was seeing this guy to make me mad at first, but they had went on dates before her and i ever became a couple. And she was very kind until this week to not post things about them together. now it seems full blown, could this be because i have told her im not talking to her? is she putting it out there to try and anger me? She is used to dating losers,drug dealers and abusers. I have overcome that part of my life and am a great person now so i guess it frustrates me more bc thats who she goes to after me? i love her deeply and if we never get back together i want her to be happy, im sure he will fuck it up but she has put up with a lot of bad bf's so it could be a long term thing for her!
Banging girls will help temporarily but i dont easily like girls for more than their bodies. i guess ill just continue with meaningless sex lol. shall i continue with a minth of no contact and then make contact with a coffee invite? what do i do if she is still infatuated with him if i do take that path?