So I've hit kind of a dry spell with women. And to be honest I was never good with them in the first place. Most of the girls I've dated I've met online and they vary in age from 19-42. It's hard to get out and to me meeting someone at a bar has never been the best place. Now that said I work in construction and I work with lots of men. So after a year off I'm back on match.com but this time around I'd like to have better luck. I'm willing just to do whatever it takes. I'm the kind of guy that everyone wonders why is he single?? I do lots of fun things and I like to go out, but I'm always single. I'm getting older and I just want someone to call mine. I've had my days as a man-whore. I think my biggest weakness to these sites is either my profile or what to write in a first message. I hate spending $30 just for one girl to message me and then it doesn't work. Any help is appreciated guys!!

So what I'm getting is you want somebody you can see yourself settling down with. Ok. Well, have you thought of the kind of woman you want to attract both looks and personality wise and putting yourself in areas where you're more likely to be exposed to that demographic? For example, if you're into intellectual well-read types you may want to join a book club, or say you're into rocker chicks then going to some live bands at local lounges may be more your speed. You get the idea.

You don't have to relegate yourself to the online world to find a mate. You can certainly do this while you're out and about; the awkwardness of course will be there initially, but being a social butterfly takes practice like working a muscle at the gym the more you push yourself out of your comfort zone and talk to people, the easier it becomes.

And I'm very open minded. I like lots of different kinds of girls I fit in with almost anyone. I have friends in all kinds of groups. And I've tried to go out and meet people and it just doesn't work. I cant break my shyness its who I am. I was bullied for most of my grade school life and my mother beat me as a teen and its left me socially awkward forever. I've read "The Game" and I've tried it out but I cant get over hearing the word no.......

Hear hear buddy. Exactly the same happened to me. I also have a really big issue with rejection, which undoubtedly comes forth from the bullying and the hitting.

For me, fear of rejection also entwines with fear of abandonment. If I don't make a connection with people, they can't reject me - and they can't abandon me and hurt my feelings if they don't... (this is some pretty deep stuff for me, and I'm saying it because it might give you some more insight about yourself)

However, and now I'm going to psycho-analyze your post a bit, which you are probably going to find super annoying, I know I do. But I think this might help you. Also keep in mind, that this is my perception and other people might think differently.

"and its left me socially awkward forever." sounds like a statement to me, which is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Telling yourself that, and believing that as true might've helped you in the past, to deal with rejection. It is not going to help you here. This is a belief that in my opinion you are going to need to break into pieces. You CAN become as strong socially as any of the guys on this forum, as long as you belief, keep trying, and do not give up.

I'd check out some NLP stuff and do some innergame work and work on your beliefs.

I also sense a lot of insecurity when you say "Open minded, like lots of kinds of girls". It's like saying, I'm just looking for a girl! I don't mind what she looks like! or what she likes doing!
You should care. You deserve a woman that is funny/intelligent/hot/witty/kinky and is into picking her nose and throwing boogers at annoying newsmen, or whatever it is that you would secretly really want in a woman.

For me, finding out what I really want in a woman has been -really- empowering. I mean dear god... wow what a reality shift.

So, I hope this helps!

You've got some serious insecurity and confidence issues. Many of us do, I used to be the same way. I used to have ZERO confidence when it came to women--your typical AFC.

I eventually realized that I had to just act as if. I acted as though I was the shit. I was cocky, arrogant, and sometimes insulting to women. This could be viewed as alpha behavior and negging, but back then I didn't know the theory behind these things, I just knew how I had to be in order to get results.

Sure, the really hot girls couldn't care less what I said or did either way, they'd still blow me off. But eventually I started getting more and more interest from other girls since they had to seek my validation in order to not feel socially inferior.

You see, how you feel and how you view yourself, does not necessarily dictate how you have to act. Just because you feel like an AFC doesn't mean you have to act like one. Even if you don't get any results at first, keep acting Alpha even if it feels unnatural. The same self-fulfilling prophecy of being a lifelong AFC can be supplanted by a similar one in which you believe you are a superb PUA. Act as if, bro.

_________________
“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!” ~Audrey Hepburn

girls on dating websites hear the same shit day in day out from guys, "hey hows you" boorrinn

try this as an opener, i bet 8/10 girls ull get a response!

"hey, id change your picture if i were you..."

theyre most likely respond something like..."WTF" or "why whats wrong with it"

then your next line is, "actually..theres nothing wrong with it...i just wanted to say hi"

after that youve got their attention and u seem a bit more..interesting

Worked nearly everytime for me

cuffs

Yep, what he said, and I'm going to try that one.

I made a female account on a dating website to see the average responses from men and he's right, hey, hello, how are you, even - I'm not looking for sex... few times,.. which is just really sad imo.

be original, get a girl's attention.

Wow guys theres a lot of good information here and a lot to respond to....

First.

I do have a lot of insecurities, I've been overweight most of my life and its hard cause in order for me to lose weight I have to eat like a anorexic girl. I like beer and wings and pizza, burgers, pasta, and I like desserts and coke and lots of fatty foods. But to me I always thought that even if I had a six pack it still wouldn't help my situation. Another thing is I'm also missing two teeth. Not from a fight or anything but I was simply born without them. And dental surgery is expensive for a broke college guy with no parental support. But I still don't think I have a cute face cause I've never had a hot girl tell me I was cute. I've had a lot of fat girls tell me I'm cute but I dont feel that that counts.

However, I am very confident in other areas of life. I know that I am one of the best at my job. I know that I can do the sports I do with some of the best out there. And I have a huge ego in bed, most girls that I do fuck ask how in the hell I'm single. But, I wont date the girls I sleep with cause they aren't the kind of women I want to be with cause I'm not 100% attracted to them.

So I guess you could say I must have some skill, but all of the girls I've been with I met online and they were just as equally wanting sex as much as me.

Second

It's hard for me to be original. I'm not very creative with words and I tend to overthink all my messages. I've sat on a message for 15 minutes before I give up and just send something generic.

I want to be better at this...I went to a bar last night where I know all the regulars but I didnt speak to anyone new. I felt soo awkward and soo alone and everyone had there own group and its hard to invade a country with an army of 1......

Try this:

Hey, (name) I was looking at your profile and I was wondering if there's more to you than just your looks. //you qualifying her
I really liked (say something about her profile that has nothing to do with how she looks). //showing you read her profile and are not just copy pasting shit (or if her profile is empty: However your profile is pretty empty which is a bit of a turn down, but I guess I can give you chance... // same with a neg

So let's go out for a drink or a cup of coffee sometimes.
Worst case, you'd make a new friend. // trying to build a bit of comfort

p.s. did you hear that story btw about that Chinese company that makes video games? // she's going to have to reply if she wants to know how that story ends... :p pretty solid hook.
Answer to that question is in here
http://www.gamesindustry.biz/articles/2 ... bile-title

I think this one could work, havn't tried it...
tbh I think I should try it, lol.

Ugh. Some of the advice here is basically the same as "click-bait" ads on facebook. You may get a response, but it won't be a useful one or get you closer to a date. I have found by far the best approach is something short and sweet related to their profile, not a copy pasted canned message.

Remember, the goal with dating isn't "response rate" it's "sex, relationships, dates, etc." So maximize the latter, not the former.

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http://www.joshsway.com -- dating, online dating, fitness, fashion, and more...

Yeah Fury, you're right but they're just trying to get him to open right now.

Anyway MXDevil, have you read any PUA material? If not you should. And about being shy and bullied, we all started out shy. There are no naturals here (granted they seem natural now but there's no need for a Natural to go on a PUA site). If you've seen RSD you know that looks don't matter. Also, I used to be a bit overweight too. Rather than bitching about it, I worked out at the gym 3 times a week, ran twice a week, and had rugby practices. I build muscle and lost fat. This doesn't really help except for women who are into muscular guys and for my confidence, but other than that it doesn't help much.

Here's some motivational support for you: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X7PAYhmoKkA

Oh, and have you done the newbie mission yet? That may not be a bad idea. Approach every girl you see and just say hi. Here's the link: the-newbie-mission-vt41556.html

You should also create a Journal in feild reports if you want to keep your stuff organized. It makes it easier for other people to help you. Read other people's journals. They'll give you motivation.

_________________
Previously Rugby7

My PUA Journey (2014): http://bit.ly/1yYjtSV
MY PUA Journey (2015): the-342-journal-vol-2-rugby7-vt187356.html
My Workout (Read this): http://bit.ly/1zIQncY

Record: 131
Record: 124

Rugby,

I have some PUA material. I've read "The Game" and I've read parts of "The Rules of the Game" and I've done the newbie mission. I can say hi to people thats not hard. The hard part is what to say for me. I'm a very simple kind of guy, I like motorcycles, jet skis, trucks, and country I lead a nice simple quite life. I work a hard labor job and I like a lot of old school things. But, I can be social I do have quite a few friends.

I just think the hardest part for me is having something to say. I overthink every part of my life and when in a bar and I see a girl I just don't know what to say. On top of all that I find it soo hard to just go up to a group of guys and girls and barge in on a conversation. I find it rude and I don't like to get into other peoples business.

And once over this cold I'm going to the gym.....