To start let me tell you a bit about myself. I'm 24 years old. I live in the town I grew up in. And I share an apartment with a high school classmate. I'm pursuing a degree in accounting, but am currently not enrolled in classes.
I have this friend that I've known since the 8th grade. She dated a buddy of mind and after they broke up we continued to hang out and be friends. We enjoy each other's company, have similar interests, and share a similar sense of humor as well.
For about a year now, maybe two, I've been on the fence over the idea of 'pushing things to the next level' with her. I do value her friendship and her presence in my life, and it's made making a move on her a lot harder than it would be with some random girl that I wanted something out of.
Well, tonight I took a real stand on getting my point across to my female friend that I was into her and I wanted not only to be her friend, but be her boyfriend and lover. This is how the situation unfolded:
I invited her over for dinner, much like many other times she has been over to my apartment. Over a couple hours we talked, ate, and watched TV in my living room. I was sitting on my larger couch, and she was on the love seat perpendicular to me. I wanted her to sit next to me and be closer to her, so I told her to come join me. She seemed a little surprised by this request but, regardless, got up and sat down next to me. She kicked her feet up on the coffee table and I slid my left knee under her legs to have some physical contact. I was slightly leaned into her and we continued our conversation.
Eventually I slid away from her, down the couch for a little bit before electing to stand up and try to get her into my bedroom. I reached for her hand and pulled her to her feet and told her she needed to see my freshly cleaned room. She followed me into the room and started playing with one of my kendamas (a Japanese skill toy similar to ball and cup). I recently acquired a free computer chair from my job and told her to sit down in it and test how comfortable it was. As she sat down I took a seat on the edge of my bed a few feet away. She sunk into the chair and commented saying it was quite nice.
At this point I made my first move by reaching down, grabbing both of her ankles, and pulling her and the chair to me, closing our gap. As soon as the chair hit the bed I continued to pull her out of the chair and into my lap. So now she's on my lap with her legs around me and her face close to mine. She's smiling and asked me what I was doing. I replied with a smile and told her I didn't know. I then rolled her off of me and into the center of my bed. I laid down next to her and reached my right hand down between her thighs and grabbed onto one of them, holding onto it and squeezing it. We continued talking about whatever as I ran my hand over her stomach and back to her leg. She made what seemed to be a self conscious comment about her stomach feeling large from the food we just ate. I continued to touch her stomach, while joking around saying "now that you mention it, your stomach is quite large" and smiled at her. As we laid there I started to look at her deeply and said, "I like you." She replied back by saying, "I like you too." I continued to push away from the friends category by saying, "I've been a lot more attracted to you lately." She asked why? I replied by saying, "You're sexy, and cute, and I'm really comfortable around you."
At this point it was starting to get a bit past the time she usually stayed since she works early in the morning. Before she had a chance to move I went on to say, "You know, I'm not trying to seduce you, but since you seem to be letting me do whatever I want, maybe I should be." She laughed and then started to stand up. I followed her out of my room and into the living room. As we chatted on about whatever I stepped up to her and said, "I know I just kind of dumped a lot of info on you, what do you think?" We embraced in a tight hug and she said, "I just don't want to jeopardize our friendship like I have with another friend." I replied while squeezing her a little tighter, saying, "I knooow. I've been worried about the same thing, but I was afraid if I didn't do something soon, I'd lose my chance at being with you."
This girl is quite driven and I know she's looking for a man with a career and a decent income. This thought was in my head as to one of the reasons she would be hesitant to be with me, so I said, "I know I don't have a ton going for me at the moment, but that's going to change soon. Sometimes it's hard for me to do things for myself, but you're definitely worth getting things going for."
We broke apart and then I smiled and joked around, while stroking a new beard that I've been growing, saying, "it's the beard isn't it
." She reassured me saying it wasn't the beard and that it fit me nicely. We walked to the door and I stepped in front of her because I didn't want her to leave without getting a chance at kissing her. I placed my hands on her hips and said, "Would it be too much to kiss you?" She looked up at me with a slight smile on her face and with slightly red cheeks and said, "maybe." I went on to say it's something I'd wanted to do many times in the past when she was leaving, and then found myself regretting not going for it. I then wanted to kiss her at this moment but found myself in another hug with her. This felt like an over the top hug, so I pulled back a bit and kissed her on the cheek. As we faced each other I told her that I didn't want her to force any feelings and that if she didn't feel the same way that I would be OK. She replied by saying that she wasn't forcing any feelings. She then said that she better get going as her phone started to ring. Her mom was making her usual nightly call, and she laughed and said, "perfect timing." She stepped out my door and into the hallway when I said, "yeah, you've been hanging around here far too long, get out of here." And with a smile to each other I closed the door and locked it.
I apologize if this is a lengthy field report. I'm new to the site and haven't yet read too many of these. I was hoping for some feedback on what I said and how I could have handed things differently. I felt like one of my big mistakes was asking if kissing her would be too much. I feel like I should have just looked strongly into her eyes and just went for it.
Thank you in advanced for any analysis and advice.
CHAT