Beta Male Bartenders/Managers



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PostPosted: Sat Jun 21, 2014 3:05 pm 
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Constant problem. I've stopped going to places before due to these pests. They pay WAY too much attention to who I'm talking to, where I am, what I'm doing... betta shit. I work in the industry, talk to and know all the HB staff. They are opportunistic AFCs and they fuck'n hate a guy like me. I'm flirting with the girls they work with, of whom I should have fucked/dated a dozen of them by now, and they don't like it. They cock block. Creep on my conversations. Any number of things. They abuse their closer relationships with the servers to hover, making small minded chode comments. Blah, blah... I know they should be easy to handle, but these are fellow industry people I've talked to many times. They are friends with the servers who tell me they are really "nice guys" or "cool", but all I see are jealous/clueless losers.

My problem is this: I scare them too. They act weird, anxious. My hearts desire is to pull my finger out and tell them, "Enough with the Beta male bullshit. You pay way to much attention to me, and its creepy as all fuck. If I'm having a conversation... you are NOT invited, you here?".

How rude can I get away with? I need to draw a line. I just want it to stop, but I resist the urge to be cruel for spite, I wrestle with the deciding the right move. I need to man up and call him out, but I don't know how to do it best, and I don't want things to escalate. There are only so many bars. I don't want to say something I regret.

Politely call him out in the act? "You pay WAY to much attention to me" "When I'm talking to you I'll point?".

I just want to hear some thoughts from guys who may have faced cock-blockers who can also kick them out. I choded out, and stopped going some 4-6 months ago. I've since practiced game intensely, planning an eventual return. That time has come. I've been back to one a couple times... and I felt like a Jedi. The bartender/manager there seemed like a mosquito. I had every chance to call him out, but at that point if I did so I would have been doing it to embarrass him, meanly, as me toying with him. I was traumatized and embarrassed by him one night when he was drunk off-shift. He ranted at me about how I was talking to girls and I shouldn't have. I was a social retard at the time. I thought I had done something wrong. I obsessed. I withdrew to continue my gaming elsewhere. And boy did I! lol. This is now an act of restraint. ;)

Or should I just ignore him?


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 21, 2014 8:56 pm 
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Interested in seeing the replies to this


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 22, 2014 12:47 am 
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Me too! I have crushes on me all over town by super hot servers. Now that my game and confidence are where they need to be, I can start pulling the trigger. I just want to do it in a way that avoids as much headache as possible.


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 11, 2014 6:33 pm 
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Happened AGAIN! though this time it was a beta female bartender.

I was out last night, standing at a bar. I'd talked to 30 people in a small pub with only 50 occupants. One mixed set was an older brother (who was a genuine nice alpha male type), his two younger sisters and one of their husbands just down the bar. I'd approached the group already a couple times, mostly the older brother. We talked lots, went for smokes, he introduced me to the group. From the time they got there I could see the two woman staring at me. One was clearly very shy and nervous towards me, and she was mirroring my dancing in place at the bar. "Good" I thought to myself.

Nearer the end of the night I came up to talk to the older brother, who was from Norway where men dance a lot, we had talked about how that was different than here. So I was asking, since no one was dancing, if he wanted to bring his family out to dance with me. He told me to ask his nervous sister out to dance. I did. She got really nervous, and with a big tense smile and bug eyes she shook her head. I said, "hey, no reason to be nervous, it's just dancing. Do you want to just stand here and dance, we can just talk a bit--"

At that point a bartender, who stares at me all the time herself and was clearly eavesdropping, jumped in a told me "she said 'no'! Now leave her alone or I'll kick you out next time." I was surprised, but not entirely because she has done this type of shit before, and the poor nervous girl was embarrassed. I moved away and the girl kept looking at me all sad like. I talked to the brother outside and he said the bartender was ridiculous and everything was fine. He "had my back". A bit later he pulled his whole group out onto the dance floor and waved me over so I could dance with them all, including the shy one.

So, I had the situation perfectly calibrated and feel that just talking to the girl til she relaxed was exactly what I should do, until that ugly cunt bartender fucked up my shit. I stood up for myself, but he didn't listen at all and walked off on me.

God, I wish only cool people could serve drinks and that they mind their fucking business. Single girls who like me get nervous, then how the fuck am I supposed to talk to these people with losers like that bartender able to fuck me over?


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 11, 2014 10:13 pm 
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Generally ignore. You have higher status and higher energy than them; treat them like a little brother who is being a pest; don't be mean; they are irrelevant. One of the reasons it keeps happening may be that you keep expecting it to happen. Instead, think to yourself, there's nothing that can get in between me & a girl who like eachother, I have a clear path and I brush others aside easily and calmly.


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 11, 2014 10:33 pm 
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Generally ignore. You have higher status and higher energy than them; treat them like a little brother who is being a pest; don't be mean; they are irrelevant. One of the reasons it keeps happening may be that you keep expecting it to happen. Instead, think to yourself, there's nothing that can get in between me & a girl who like eachother, I have a clear path and I brush others aside easily and calmly.
I DON'T expect it to keep happening. I ignore them entirely till they interrupt and that is due to them paying me entirely too much attention. I can't easily brush aside a jealous loser intent on throwing me out if I talk to a shy girl. And yes, getting cockblocked by staff CAN keep me from a girl I like because I don't have a chance to talk her down from her state of panic that I am talking to her. Single girls get SUPER nervous around me, which is good and expected, but if I can't talk long enough to get them to relax (just as I was setting up to do) then there is no getting with them.


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 11, 2014 11:23 pm 
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Your feelings of revenge and putting these beta cockblockers in their place may be justified, but it is not part of the game. The game involves what you do, how you do it, and the girls you do it to. You don't need to AMOG, and these guys aren't really AMOGing you either, they are just being pestilent annoyances in the background.

One thing I'm curious about is that it sounds like you are a bar fly type and are hitting on the hired help. I've been a server too so I know how they all chum around, but if you are actually gaming these girls you should be getting numbers, going on dates, isolating. If this problem has been going on for a long time then you are spending too much time gaming the same girls in their place of work, which is a situational problem you can easily remedy.

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PostPosted: Sun Oct 12, 2014 2:26 am 
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I DON'T expect it to keep happening.
My post was more along the lines of inwardly controlling the things you can control. Before going out IF you are presently thinking things like, "Hopefully those betas don't try to interrupt my flow again" you might find it's better for your outlook if you just wipe anything like that that has happened in the past from your mind and visualize the successful outcome you want, which doesn't include the chodes interrupting. It may not make a difference, but it beats visualizing them interrupting.

Another state of mind that may help is to know that as the paying customer you are the one who is actually paying all of the bills in the establishment, including the paychecks of the beta bartenders/managers. So if you happen to be in rapport with a server you could possibly pre-empt the bartender/manager when he walks up and say something like "just a minute Timmy, she'll be yours in a few, right now I'm asking her about something."

I feel ya w/ this issue for sure but you're a boss, your posts in this forum are spot on and I have no doubt you'll figure this shit out and come out better for it.


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 12, 2014 4:22 am 
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Youre doing something wrong.

Look, 99% of 'cocblocking' is not beta guys or jealous girls. Its youre doing something wrong, miscalibrated or creepy and a friend or person comes to the rescue. Most times when the 'beta' guy friend pulls the girl you were 'flirting' with away, its because she gave him the come save me eyes and thanked him afterwards. Its like the guys who complain about beta security guards banning them from the mall because their game is so tight...no its because youre harassing people and coming off like the next Elliot Roger.

If this is happening to you, something is wrong.If youre a cool guy, people dont care. You say you shouldve fucked and dated half a dozen of these coworkers...but you havent. So why are they jealous? You think a server or bar manager really cares whose pulling at the bar? they dont. So if they are harassing you, odds are its to protect customers. If the other guys who are making out with girls or getting numbers are being singled out too, then you have a case for cockblocking. The reaction you got from the bartender was an extreme one and I have to assume what you took as nervous shy girl was a rejection which you pushed. I hate to sound negative but just looking at the evidence objectively. Bartender wants you but threatens to kick you out for asking a girl to dance? This just all sounds like a reframe.


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 12, 2014 6:14 am 
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Your feelings of revenge and putting these beta cockblockers in their place may be justified, but it is not part of the game. The game involves what you do, how you do it, and the girls you do it to. You don't need to AMOG, and these guys aren't really AMOGing you either, they are just being pestilent annoyances in the background.

One thing I'm curious about is that it sounds like you are a bar fly type and are hitting on the hired help. I've been a server too so I know how they all chum around, but if you are actually gaming these girls you should be getting numbers, going on dates, isolating. If this problem has been going on for a long time then you are spending too much time gaming the same girls in their place of work, which is a situational problem you can easily remedy.

I went through that phase, but no more. I'm talking about staff interfereing with other patrons and I.


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 12, 2014 7:00 am 
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Youre doing something wrong.

Look, 99% of 'cocblocking' is not beta guys or jealous girls. Its youre doing something wrong, miscalibrated or creepy and a friend or person comes to the rescue. Most times when the 'beta' guy friend pulls the girl you were 'flirting' with away, its because she gave him the come save me eyes and thanked him afterwards. Its like the guys who complain about beta security guards banning them from the mall because their game is so tight...no its because youre harassing people and coming off like the next Elliot Roger.

If this is happening to you, something is wrong.If youre a cool guy, people dont care. You say you shouldve fucked and dated half a dozen of these coworkers...but you havent. So why are they jealous? You think a server or bar manager really cares whose pulling at the bar? they dont. So if they are harassing you, odds are its to protect customers. If the other guys who are making out with girls or getting numbers are being singled out too, then you have a case for cockblocking. The reaction you got from the bartender was an extreme one and I have to assume what you took as nervous shy girl was a rejection which you pushed. I hate to sound negative but just looking at the evidence objectively. Bartender wants you but threatens to kick you out for asking a girl to dance? This just all sounds like a reframe.
Nope. As I just replied to the other guy, I'm over gaming staff. And I'm calibrated enough to know now what a good nervous person looks like. I've talked to lots of people I shouldn't have, and this last case is certainly as I described. I'm past my creepy days. I was pretty bad in the past, I'll admit that, but the cases here are as I suggest. I wasn't drunk, I was friendly to the whole group, they even said their sister was shy. The bartender stares at me all the time if I'm talking to anyone, has a crush on me and none of the other staff act like her at all. She is a retard.


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 12, 2014 3:12 pm 
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Quote:
Quote:
Youre doing something wrong.

Look, 99% of 'cocblocking' is not beta guys or jealous girls. Its youre doing something wrong, miscalibrated or creepy and a friend or person comes to the rescue. Most times when the 'beta' guy friend pulls the girl you were 'flirting' with away, its because she gave him the come save me eyes and thanked him afterwards. Its like the guys who complain about beta security guards banning them from the mall because their game is so tight...no its because youre harassing people and coming off like the next Elliot Roger.

If this is happening to you, something is wrong.If youre a cool guy, people dont care. You say you shouldve fucked and dated half a dozen of these coworkers...but you havent. So why are they jealous? You think a server or bar manager really cares whose pulling at the bar? they dont. So if they are harassing you, odds are its to protect customers. If the other guys who are making out with girls or getting numbers are being singled out too, then you have a case for cockblocking. The reaction you got from the bartender was an extreme one and I have to assume what you took as nervous shy girl was a rejection which you pushed. I hate to sound negative but just looking at the evidence objectively. Bartender wants you but threatens to kick you out for asking a girl to dance? This just all sounds like a reframe.
Nope. As I just replied to the other guy, I'm over gaming staff. And I'm calibrated enough to know now what a good nervous person looks like. I've talked to lots of people I shouldn't have, and this last case is certainly as I described. I'm past my creepy days. I was pretty bad in the past, I'll admit that, but the cases here are as I suggest. I wasn't drunk, I was friendly to the whole group, they even said their sister was shy. The bartender stares at me all the time if I'm talking to anyone, has a crush on me and none of the other staff act like her at all. She is a retard.

What does overgaming the staff mean? Anyway, if these crushes are real, next time you see her or someone who is crushing you, simply say 'hey lets go out this week.' If she says yes, it was a crush. If she says no it wasnt.


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 12, 2014 6:59 pm 
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I think your overgaming the patrons too. When you're forced to be around AMOGs, cockblockers, twatblockers, pests, and douches, you can't expect to have an easy go of it. They will be a constant fly in your ointment. That's what isolating and escalation and phase shifting is all about. You get them out of that environment into a place that is more conducive to f-closing.

Sounds like these places are your pickup hunting grounds and you are seen as the player and have developed a loyal following of player haters. You need to elevate your game so that this logistical problem has little effect on you. Aside from doing something drastic, or even pulling the haters aside and trying to level with them, I don't really see how you are going to get around this. You just have to learn to deal with it.

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